Comments: Love American Style: Who Are These Guys?
RE: DATE rape drug Rohypnol
Did you see the BBC story? http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6152646.stm
It may not be that widespread.
"Of 120 cases from November 2004 to October 2005, it said 12 were suspected drug-assisted assaults - but none was linked to the date-rape drug Rohypnol."
Posted by Mark(p.s.2) at April 26, 2007 07:50 AM
First, it's nice to hear a guy get pissed off about this, so thanks for that.
I taught my daughters from 7-8 grade forward--once they started to go to school socials, to never leave a drink unattended. Back then it was soda pop. If you leave a drink, someone can slip something into it I would tell them.
Without giving too much detail; it happens at college a lot. It happened to one of mine. The school would press charges if she wanted to be dragged through the mud, and most likely have no proof/and the guy followed her around after that.It was horrible.Another football player who was known for date rape[I knew several girsl who were raped by him][and Ive met him]..ended up murdering someone. Yeah. Just recently.Bad ass scene.Dumped the body in the hotel parking lot down the street from campus.
When I was in college in the 80's, there was a gang rape in the dorm. At the time I was attending a Christian University. I was taunted by out of state boys[men]because I was blonde and from CA.--they harrassed me right off campus--I quit. By day they hugged their bibles and by night they raped women. Many nights I slept at a friend's house, afraid to sleep in the dorms.
It's still out there. I still tell my kids to watch their drinks. The one who had something slipped into her drink was at a popular club, with friends, and has never been back. She also had to go into therapy at the rape crisis center on campus for a year. That young man--denied the entire thing, and smirked when he saw my daughter on campus.
I would like to know who these men are as well. I don't get it either.
Posted by Stephany at April 26, 2007 08:30 AM
Many of the college towns hold an event where the women and men against violence toward women march and raise awareness. It's an awesome thing to witness young women and men take a stand and empower themselves. I was most impressed with the young men who participate.There ARE decent guys out there, this I know. The ones who date rape by spiking drinks--yeah, they are scum, and something is terribly wrong. I also think many people would be surprised at how women just keep rape to themselves, and never tell anyone.
Posted by Stephany at April 26, 2007 09:04 AM
thanks mark. hadn't seen that exact one. no one seems to know how much this really goes on because it is so seldom reported to the cops, so it's hard to track at all. anecdotally, i know it goes on enough to where bartenders i know at big clubs make a point of keeping an eye out for it. tells us something.
Posted by Philip Dawdy at April 26, 2007 11:42 AM
Thank you for another set of great posts, I sincerely appreciate going to the links you provide, and finding great new blogs to follow.
I have been trying to teach students that they bring THEIR OWN DRINKS TO ALL PARTIES IN COVERED CONTAINERS. It can be cool to do this. They can use the cool Japanese drink holders or draw on their cups with permanent markers. However, they should NEVER drink any open cup at a mixed open party.
I know this sounds cynical and paranoid, but this happens ALL the time. Believe me!!!!
Thank you Phillip, for being a man, and taking this stand.
Psychiatrically speaking, the men who rape women using drugs are cowards, and they have such SELF HATE that they don't trust their OWN ability to attract women (since they usually ARE hateful young men, so they stack the odds in their favor.
Socially speaking, the guys do it for bragging rights and for posting the pictures on web pages. Some frats have contests, where the guys get points for sleeping with women, and pledges need to sleep with XX amount of POINTS (rated by the hotness of the women) before they can be admitted. Guys get desperate, and they drug women MORE with JUST PLAIN ALCOHOL than rape drugs, but they do it none the less. Here comes the rant - if they would outlaw the sexual point system, then I stupidly perhaps believe that the amount of date rape would decrease.
Ultimately, we as women are responsible to protect our selves from the REAL crazies out there.. Cho and date rapists.
Thanks for the opportunity to comment,
BK
Posted by Dr. Black Kitty at April 26, 2007 09:21 PM
Cho was an isolate, driven not so much by peer pressure or example, but an emotional maelstrom that brought into his consciousness all the desires and impulses that drink spikers might never actually think they have or would admit to having, but which are stimulated anyway by the frat boy culture that swamps them.
Cho had a window on his unconscious that got blown open by the maelstrom, and through that window came a special, almost revelatory kind of knowledge, that of the full extent of his rage and sense of entitlement. This allowed him to just go ahead and think the kind of things that drink spikers can only subconsciously assume about themselves and others (but which are nevertheless enough to make their behaviour seem OK, in their eyes).
Cho 'knew' what he was entitled to, and that he wasn't going to get it, so he got a gun and went berserk, while drink spikers get roofies and have the necessary emotional control to wait semi-quietly for an easy target. They're not so certain of what they're entitled to, but they know what's available and how they can get it.
Consider what happens drink spikers when they 'grow up', leave college or whatever and become divorced from the frat boy culture that both promotes this kind of the behaviour and diminishes their sense of responsibility for it. They get married, have kids, and while they'll probably quit the really nasty gang-based behaviour, their everyday psychopathy may continue to express itself in alternative, solitary ways - being workplace bullies, sexually harassing female colleagues and being inadequate and possibly abusive husbands and fathers. Those close enough to see them for what they are know they're arseholes, but to the casual observer, they may well be pillars of the community. It is unlikely that a Cho, with the contents of his unconscious hanging out like a prolapsed bowel, instead of being folded away neatly in his wallet, would have been able to effect such a pseudo-transformation.
Posted by Ruth at April 28, 2007 12:03 AM