Furious Seasons: Comment on Hypomania, Joy Or Prelude To Disaster?

Comments: Hypomania, Joy Or Prelude To Disaster?

oh my God.
You didn't write this about you, it's about me.

Posted by Stephany at June 23, 2006 04:38 PM

So.They think: She only wrote one line regarding hypomania?

She's never had one line to say in her life.

That's me.

It may be you too.

Some people do not understand hypomania, and I do think it is imperative to understand how we work, in our minds, so we can try to some how maintain that impending doom of the crash, or pissing off everyone around us with our loud egotistical mouths.(well, we appear egomaniacs, but we are not really.I am actually really shy. Who knew!)
Now, this coming from some one who is predominantly hypo. Yep. I couldn't do my job or raise my kids or anything I do without it, I depend(ed) on it. The dark crash that hit me recently was actually the worst one if maybe not the first? you know the peering into the dark waters post of mine, and not wanting to go for a swim?
The reason I am typing this, is for others to learn and somehow tap into what this is like.
Oh yeah, we can write , we can paint (I handpainted the exterior of my house),we can run groups, teach, oh there are so many of us lurking out there that people think are perky!
They don't know we live on the edge hoping the dark pit doesn't come after us before we finish the task. How did I know I was hypo?(meaning, how did I know it was coming on?) well. The music is ON. Any music, all types,(and LOUD) and when I find myself at 2pm thinking I can change the world because of the music I'm listening to, I need to take a step back. How do I stop the impending implosion/trainwreck? I stop. I go to bed on time.I get up on time. I stop the train.

Oh yeah, it is a rush, we can get so much done, but when I start hearing myself talk. That's a problem. When it's all over the place, high and low, and this and that, and yeah that's the 'Bowling Alone" time.

Recognizing when we need to back off and settle down is really hard.

I actually have had the worst time maintaining the low end of this, trying to maintain the high end to finish what I am doing. Meaning, that I cannot lose the momentum to keep going what I have been maintaining...So, that is when the meditation, the windchimes, the bench in the woods is mandatory. These can be hella fun times, and if you have your act together, and can watch for it, it can be harnessed.
Pretty good stuff comes outta these times. But left to go wild, yeah it can unleash a bad ass scene. Maybe we can call it a tightrope. Balance beam.
The balance beam can be easy if we are prepared, watch all sides and don't fall off of it, keep the steady pace and harness what we can from the energy.
Do I think this is a bad thing? nope. But why would I? look who is talking.
Energy forces. We are all an energy force. So use it when we can to do what we can, and try not to lose control in the meantime.
Some people and doctors may see this as a "well" time. It takes a lot of work to watch for what some of us know, could be disasterous times in the long run.
The life of the party. Oh how many times have I heard that.
It is a balancing act, and one that needs to be monitored. One more thing, I use music as an example because I am a music junkie, concert junkie. Music is a good soul cleanser too, it's just something you have to know about yourself.
For me, honestly, it's too much music and Chardonnay.
Gotta know yourself. If you don't, you can crash big time.

Posted by Stephany at June 23, 2006 05:43 PM

My 3rd post re: this hypomanic topic, but wanted to say, that one of my kids (who is 20) is the one who always complained when I said no matter what I HAD to sleep. 'I hate it when youre on a sleep deficit'.
Nice way of putting it.
I just read, after typing my replies here, the McMan entry.
Sleep is really simple. It sounds too good to be true, but it really makes a difference and I can tell and so can everyone else around me when Im hypo and short on sleep.
Live and learn.
9-15 hours of sleep.
When that happens, I'm good to go.
Under stressful situations, it is hard to get that sleep in, but damn if I dont try.
My Mom is going to be 72, and she just said to me: " I think I get really wound up if I dont sleep enough.".
Oh mom.
Gotta love it.

Posted by Stephany at June 23, 2006 07:34 PM

Hi, Philip. What I hear you saying is a lot of the good, bad, and ugly is you - the real deal that shouldn't be medicated, especially if you can handle it and you're prepared to clean up after yourself. Your pdoc would probably tell you this is a part of your illness that needs to be medicated, so let's raise the doses.

I know the best way to get me seriously depressed would be to medicate the personality out of me, so I don't want pdocs messing with my good-bad-and-ugly, either. It sounds like I keep myself on a shorter leash than you (my bad hair days are very unfair to my wife), but the principle is the same.

Posted by John McManamy at June 25, 2006 11:46 AM

I guess everyone has a different take on hypomania. Yes, it is great to feel like a rock star. To feel like anything can be accomplished and be on top of the world. For me, I would choose a good night of sleep over just about anything. Along with hypomania does come with loss of sleep and the ultimate crash, no matter how small that may be at times. I'll struggle for constant stability all the time. But that's just me.

Posted by Angie at June 25, 2006 08:43 PM

Hello i am a hypomanic sufferer and have realised finally that lack of sleep is a trigger factor for me. I find it so hard to turn off the television i have slept on my setee for the past 3 years even though i have a brand new bed ,for some reason i think i am going to miss something by going to sleep in my bed in my bedroom. Also i have never experienced a psychotic episode or suicidal but my hypos take the form of irritability and then it is mainly followed by low mood in which i do not want to see friends or family i do not answer the telephone i completely isolate myself. I am a nurse and i have been off work for almost one year. I am presently on epilim and quietapine.So as you can see i do not get the creative highs when i am hypomanic i spend reclessly and have just started a second phase of bank ruptcy due to the excessive debts i ran up and the thing is i spent the money on family and friends even srangers. Can anyone reading this identify with me

loretta june 27 2006 16 55 pm

Posted by loretta allen at June 27, 2006 08:55 AM

No sleep, no food, hightened sexuality and va-va-vavoom, and above all "my work"; don't cross me when I'm working (fingerpainting, "organizing", making lists, blogging, interpretative dance, makeovers, it's all performance and production and do not thwart me, there is great urgency in "the work").

I've been lucky, every psychopharmocologist I've had has been permissive about hypomania, so long as I'm not buying out the malls. They've been exceptionally kind and available in case it gets out of control. I think it's because I am usually so dour and solemn, but when hypomanic am clearly having a good time, persuasive, kittenish, happy, cooperative, entertaining and infectious, suddenly I'm a sympathetic character. So I get *permission*. Ha ha.

Posted by flawedplan at June 27, 2006 11:51 PM

I appreciate all you comments about hypomania and can really understand where you are all coming from. Howevr ,it is also increbibly painful to see the same obliviousness in all or the attempt to humourise and minimise the sheer amount of damage and destruction to good, and innocent partners or bystanders, family or friends during these frantic hypomanic times, or even in mild highs, especially the irritable, dysphoric types, which can be incredibly aggressive, verbally and physically to the point of sadistic, and cruel.

Avoiding the crash into depression seems to be all that matters to people and I read it over and over again, with the very odd comment made about , Oh My poor wife or husband, as a throw in for good measure, with no detail or actual admission or even awareness of how the hypomanic partners often act towards their partners and loved ones, yet alone the damage they cause to themselves. It is far from party time, is just perceived that way by you, not by others, and is a perceptual thing. From my experience, Hypomania brings little else other than prolific or scattered work, not necessarily of any quality or sustainability. Most do far better work which is real and achievable, when stable, not depressed or high. Medication is vital to prevent such damge. Start thinking of others and being more honest and realistic about your own risks.

I feel Deeply hurt at the moment by a year long high of my partner whom I have stayed by and supported relentlessly hrough five similar years, excdept last year which was much better, but in an attempt to resolve the depressive phases, the Lamotrigine or any antidepressants all just bring a unwelcome eturn of aggressive, violent, hosrile, rejecting dismissive behaviour and long periods of estrangemernt while he suvvesffully manipulates all into believing he is well and succeeds. This is so common. What do I do. I have done jus about everything available to me, and he is just obstructing all communications or accetance of thectruth and ensuring I a also bering unsupported andousted by his family as he will not allow them to speak to him. I feel complately vilified and have been misrepresented left right and centre.

Posted by pixie at January 4, 2007 03:44 PM

THe psychiatrists can not even recognise the hypomanic symptoms when present unless extreme, neither do the key workers or family sometimes, as he ca be so plausible and sound or appear reasonable to e veryone else who has short contacts.I am banging my head against a brick wall, and tired of all this denial and lack of true insight most seem to have into their actual behaviout and the impact on others. No one isto blamer, that is just the way the illness fools people. I know not all behave this way , but kit is v ery common and needs to be adressed. I also accept tha it is not deliberate, but surely those who do have a higher degree of insight than others could lead the way responsibly. Some simply do not know thkis is what kis happening or how they are cming across or believe it to be justifiable behaviour at the time due to their thought distortion. This is not intended to offend any one. It is just my experience, and I have researched the illness extensively too, looking for guidance.Please help. Jan 4th. Desperate times.

Posted by pixie at January 4, 2007 03:49 PM

I must address that I was definitely more mentally aware when I wrote my previous posts in this thread. By September/October I was deep in the dark/swirling/loud unstoppable hypo or mania , I do not know what to call it, but clearly I was able to see what to do in June and could not help myself at all by the Fall. I feel this could be imperative to share, because what I felt in a hypomanic state and was able to control...well I had no idea how bad it could turn if left to rock on it's own. I was in very bad shape. I had no idea what it meant to crash when I wrote in June. By November was in an ER for apparent heart issues that ended up presenting as mental health breakdown. It was all I could do to remain out of a hospital.
If I, can pass anything on to someone else, is to make sure to watch yourself, because for me the hypo was a prelude to complete disaster and I am serious, it is nothing to mess around with at all. I feel that it is true, the hypomania IS a possible prelude to disaster. BUT--I had never experienced the "disaster" part before, so I did not know the jeopardy I placed myself in by "enjoying the 'joy'" of hypomania.
I hope I have made sense, I find reading my previous posts can be a real eye opener to anyone. I just cannot believe how bad it was about to get and became, and am totally grateful I survived the impending disaster.

Please, everyone feeling remotely hypomanic: do a checklist:

1.Have I slept on a regular schedule?
2.Did I eat food today?
3.Tell a friend you feel on the edge.
4.If in a panic, go to the E.R.
5.Take the steps to keep your stability.
6. Read the "Whatever Works" post on this blog.
Do not allow the fun side of hypomania turn into your personal disaster.

Posted by Stephany at January 4, 2007 08:39 PM