RealAge Test Is Actually Pharma Marketing Scam

I'm sure most of you have seen those ads all over the 'Net beckoning one and all to click to find out their "real age." Clicking through takes you to realage.com where you can fill out various surveys, be told an approximation of your age and so on and then you start getting all manner of emails, tailored to what your alleged health concerns are or should be. It turns out, according to this New York Times article, that the website is in league with the Devil, meaning that people who sign up end up getting loads of email from pharma companies, some of which push them to particular products or make suggestive diagnostic inferences about the person. Seriously. And people who sign up don't know about any of this.

It's all about finding out if you are older or younger than your calendar age. Wow, neato!

It's got a connection to the Oprah Winfrey show, because her in-house TV doctor, Dr. Oz, helps market RealAge. RealAge is owned by Heart Digital Media, which is part of the Hearst Corporation which of course shut down the Seattle Post-Intelligencer last week, putting actual friends and colleagues out of work. Hearst, I love you so much!

"They are asked throughout the test if they would like a free RealAge membership. If people answer yes to any of the prompts, they become RealAge members, and their test results go into a marketing database.

"RealAge allows drug companies to send e-mail messages based on those test results. It acts as a clearinghouse for drug companies, including Pfizer, Novartis and GlaxoSmithKline, allowing them to use almost any combination of answers from the test to find people to market to, including whether someone is taking antidepressants, how sexually active they are and even if their marriage is happy.

"RealAge sends the selected recipients a series of e-mail messages about a condition they might have, usually sponsored by a drug company that sells a medication for that condition.

"'Our primary product is an e-mail newsletter series focused on the undiagnosed at-risk patient, so we know the risk factors if someone is prehypertensive, or for osteoarthritis,' said Andy Mikulak, the vice president for marketing at RealAge. 'At the end of the day, if you want to reach males over 60 that are high blood pressure sufferers in northwest Buffalo with under $50,000 household income that also have a high risk of diabetes, you could,' he said."

I simply love how invasive big pharma has gotten in our lives, so I'm going to sign up myself and see what kind of BS pharma sends me.

OK, so I filled out the test using a fictitious profile and checking off all the questions about worry and mental health diagnoses. My alleged real age came in at two years older than my profile's real calendar age. Ohhhh, I'm so scared. Here's what's ruining my life, according to the test:

"Older Not knowing your cholesterol levels

Older Worrying too much

Older Not taking a daily aspirin

Older Having depression

Older Not knowing your blood pressure

Older Not flossing enough

Older Being a smoker

Older Not designating a driver

Older Driving too fast

Older Not sleeping enough

Older Not having air bags

Older Facing a lot of stress

Older Not getting enough vitamin C

Older Not eating enough whole grains

Older Not getting enough vitamin E

Older Not eating breakfast every day

Older Not getting enough calcium

Older Not eating your veggies

Older Not getting enough folic acid

Older Eating too much red meat

Older Not eating enough fruits

Older Not getting enough potassium

Older Needing to review your eating habits

Older Having a high BMI

Older Doing only the bare minimum

Older Neglecting your muscles"

Wow, that was fun. Now, let's see what super meds ads Big Pharma sends me, 'cuz I know they just want to help me. Yay!

Apparently, one thing making me younger, according to the test, is "Not taking any meds."

How much you want to bet that I get lots of suggestive material pushing me towards meds?