October 03, 2008Nebraska Parents Use New Law To Dump Unruly Kids On StateTalk about unintended consequences: a recently-enacted law in Nebraska that was designed to prevent so-called dumpster babies has resulted in more than a dozen children and teens being turned over by their parents to the state. According to this article in the New York Times: "Officials have called the abandonments a misuse of a new law that was mainly intended to prevent so-called Dumpster babies — the abandonment of newborns by young, terrified mothers — but instead has been used to hand off out-of-control teenagers or, in the case of the father of 10, to escape financial and personal despair. Is there some kind of special stress on parents and their kids going on out there--outside of the economy--that has changed things so dramatically in our culture that parents will just dump their kids? Maybe I'm old-fashioned or naive, but I simply don't recall this kind of crap going on much in the past. Sure, troubled kids entered the juvenile justice system and so on, but this strikes me as highly unusual. Any ideas? Posted by Philip Dawdy at October 3, 2008 12:03 AM
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From me, a Lincoln resident, you get only speculation: the first one, a 15/16 year-old kid, whose guardian (aunt, I think) had simply had enough. What parent of a teen-ager wouldn't sympathize with her plight -- plus the lack of a biological relation -- making the connection between the new Safe Haven law and dumping this bratty boy obvious. The next few looked like "me too". The nine kids story is, apparently, a real tragedy. Most of those children have been placed in a family environment according to current media headlines. Nebraska was late in getting a Safe Haven law (where do people come up with "Dumpster baby"? That's just ghoulish) so it was in the news recently during and after the law was passed. I think that one person made the not-so-obvious deduction that what's good for an infant would be good for a teen and, well, you know the rest of the story. It could just as easily have happened first in Montana, Mississippi or Massachusetts. Maybe it's the new National Fad. ;( Posted by: Matthew Platte at October 2, 2008 10:12 PMI worked as a therapist in a working-class high school last year, and one thing that really struck me was that no one seemed to actually be interacting with the kids as if they were people. Granted, I was dealing with a troubled subset of kids, but very few of them seemed to have real-life interaction with friends outside school hours (free time was spent gaming) and none of these kids parents seemed to have the time or inclination to just sit down and have ongoing conversations with them. The majority of what I did was just treat each child as an individual worthy of being listened to seriously, and I would see dramatic improvements in behavior and grades within a few weeks. I don't think we listen to kids any more. Or accept their status as people. And the kids' own social support systems are whittling down, through geography (no one just seems to play with the kids on the block anymore) and technology (online interaction is just not the same). So you have really needy kids acting out in order to get those ill-defined needs met, and stressed-out parents who don't have much social or financial safety net, either. Posted by: occhiblu at October 2, 2008 10:21 PMReminds me of this old chant from the 70's, Free safe abortion on demand. Forcing people to have children they don't want is bizarre. You have to think that these kids, like so many of the poor labeled as bipolar kids, could have been born to people who actually wanted them if only abortion had been an affordable option to the nuts who gave birth to them. Posted by: Sally at October 2, 2008 11:43 PMPhilip, whatever this trend is, I believe it springs from the same place as another trend: medicating children with psychotropics. That certainly didn't happen when I was a kid (good thing, too, or I'd have been drugged up for sure). I think we (our society, that is) has pretty much forgotten how to live. One reason is probably our addiction to a consumer lifestyle. We're so busy earning and spending, we're annoyed by things like child-rearing. Posted by: Francesca Allan at October 3, 2008 01:27 AMI think this can be part of what our culture in the U.S. lacks: family units that have entire families living in the same town, or nearby, for support for another. We have become such a transcient nation, that often there is no support for parents when crises arise. Of course not everyone will agree that their family is supportive and often they can be destructive relationships, but it's not always the case. I also fear we are becoming a throw away society, self-involved, and some people just plain need to not have kids. Posted by: Stephany at October 3, 2008 02:30 AMIn the UK we have “child benefit” a payment made directly to the mother for each child born up to the age of 16 (18 if they stay in full time education) Other indirect financial inducements to procreate include enhanced benefits, EMA (Educational maintenance award, paid directly to the child but usually used to supplement the family income) as well as moves to provide free nursery education, free school meals for primary aged children in Scotland band Wales (may be extended to England) as well as state sponsored education, free dental care and prescriptions for children up to the age of 16.
Hey Dawdy, why don't you take a look at this american IP address pal? Then you can sleep tight the next few days while you approve comments from ME from US IP addresses, when I'm careful you can't make it out as me. You've already approved two of my comments Dawdy. I'm sure you'll approve dozens before the week is out. See how 'banned' I am? Really, really soooo banned. So how do you like that? I'm commenting but it's up to ME when I let you know who it is. Nice huh? Enjoy the immense control you have over your own site Dawdy. I am in Germany and I fully agree with what Francesca Allan said. I think we have just forgotten how to live. This is key. And am I really in Germany? Or am I Poe? As you can see, next time I won't be giving myself away. And you'll be approving my comments from now on Dawdy, so get in line and admit, to the unbannable nature of my control. Posted by: Kate at October 3, 2008 03:35 AMActually, as a person who probably would have been dumped if my parents had had the option, no matter what happens to the kids afterwards, living with parents or guardians who really don't want you there is worse than the same abuse from a stranger. So the policy isn't all bad for the kids. If only I could adopt one of these unruly teenagers. Posted by: Sally at October 3, 2008 05:41 AMwell, to the unbannable commenter here: no one really gives a shit about what you say or how you've "conquered" the internet by repeatedly gaining comment approval on a blog. Posted by: Stephany at October 3, 2008 09:57 AMI agree with Sally. The policy has an unexpected benefit for kids whose parents didn't raise them right and now have no time to deal with the consequences of their lousy performance. The kids deserve at least a shot at getting exposure to other adults as caretakers. Posted by: Deborah at October 3, 2008 11:54 AMMy first job was as a welfare worker in the mid-70s in a very impoverished rural area near the Canadian border. We used to get two or three calls a week from parents eager to dump their 14-year olds. This is nothing new, really. The adoptive parents actually used to be able to do it. The system, despite all the palavar about how adoption is "just like" natural parenting, used to take those kids back (I'm talking late teens and early twenties here) all the time. I've been saying for years that my sisters and I would have been better off if our mother had dropped us off in the sock department at Jordan Marsh. I really mean it--until I remember what a ticket to sexual abuse foster care is. Althought the abuse itself probably wouldn't have equalled what we went through at home, it would occur on a layer of overt and total rejection that would have only worsened things. Gee, I can get onto weird jags sometimes... Stephany, just a hint from Heloise: don't attend to his/her behaviour. Ever. Sherry Posted by: Sherry at October 3, 2008 01:17 PMI'm sorry you have to put up with the stalker Phil. If what they said mattered or was intelligent, they would have their own website and blog with plenty of traffic and link in. I'm left wondering when did the newsgroup Alt.kook go down? Its behavior like that which makes people not want to listen when we condemn psychiatry and justifies all their fraudulent labeling. Along with screwing up free & open wifi spots or open relays/proxies... One really wonders if they even try to actually work for change or just expect their online ranting to "enlighten " the whole world. Kinda funny how they act exactly like the same way as the worse shrinks they condemn trying to force themselves onto people. Study "encyclopedia dramatica" and become a better troll Your 7 proxy defense and computer science III isn't good enough. Using proxies isn't any 1337 h4X0ring 5ki112 its barely worthy of being a script kiddie. What's next trying to threaten him with traceroute or a ping? Or are you going to pawns his him, pawns his website catch teh butseks and makes ceiling cat not amused.... I willing to bet Mr Dawdy has more ban ip table room than you can find open proxies.... I think it has to do with the fracturing of the family. In times past, irresponsible parents left their children with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins... respite could be provided by those same family members or a tightly knit church community. Nowadays, people can't even count on their spouse for support. I know some families on a bipolar support group that had their adoptions "undone" due to out of control teens/psych issues. Posted by: Milehimama at October 4, 2008 08:15 AMPost a comment
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