Glad to read this blog entry, Philip.

Just to clarify, I didn't mean 'state of depression' as a dx. I should have said frustration, plus situational depression perhaps. Like I said, it happens to me at times, and I've considered shuting down my site as well.

I should chip in something for you for the work you do.

Good luck.

depressed; narcissist;
Jesus!
If someone do not get depressed from time to time is because this person is completely alianeted about what is going on, not in mental health kingdom, but what is going on in the world.

Narcissist... if don't have a dash a narcisism you're in big trouble!

The bet: $500... good you haven't accept.
Philip,
If it was $110.500,00 you should have taken the bet, stop for two weeks, get the money and come back!
At least you would have solved some problems.
$500 is too little!

Good to know you're going nowhere. I started thinking >depressed mode on

"-Which Blog I'll indicate now?; where am I going to find all these data in one blog only?; will it be possible to keep on scrabbling my blog without FS?; i understand his reasons but it will be much more harder to unite people.; ..." :(
>mode depressed off

>mode narcisistic on: i'm doing such an incredible work that people don't even leave comment fearing saying something silly >mode narcisistc off

normal mode on
The system has failed to process your request. Try again later or reboot the system.

i am aglow with delight that you'll go on with this site!

Philip: Good for you on all counts. I'm glad to hear you're sticking with it.

Glad you're sticking around. It sounds like you're burnt out, disillusioned and disappointed, normal parts of the human condition, parts that usually signal growth, but painful nonetheless. Maybe labor pains for that book you've got in you. I can see an autobiography of your experience being not just good but also marketable. You've got that rare ability to tell the truth even when you don't want too.

Also, here's a bit of advice for what it's worth - Back when I was self employed, I read that it was important to set boundaries between working and not working because if you work from home, as I assume you do, you're always at work, hence, it's a good idea to make sure that sometimes you're completely off work. I've noticed that those times that you say you're taking a break, you often are still "here" as comments keep getting approved. Maybe you should try and leave the blog alone for a certain period of time every day, maybe take some time off completely every week-end or whenever you want.

Still, of course the people I really worry about getting hurt in all of this are the other anti psych folks. These days with a job and a life where no one knows anything about my psych days I don't like to see anti psych folks who are more vulnerable than me get chewed up and blamed for their completely normal and health anger, anxiety, fear, poverty, lack of choices, etc., and remarkable courage and resiliency, so I have to mention that it's ironic that you post about some pretty negative experiences with psychiatry and with folks on this site dsming you, and still it's the anti psych folks you get pissed at (???!!!).

You rock and eventually I suspect you'll get the recognition and success you deserve, meanwhile, take as much of a vacation as you can stand.

Glad to see you're sticking with it Philip. Great site, good thoughts, I check in regularly and value your FS very much.

I think most sites with comments pages end up giving moderators headaches - indicates at least that people are passionate about views that the site covers. Just ban people after enough warning, I think that is accepted in the blogosphere - though I'm not an expert on cyberethics/protocol.

A vacation? Getting out of town?

Sounds absolutely fabulous.

Go for it, Philip!

That's great news. :)

Definitely take a vacation! after 3 solid years in and out of psych wards w my daughter I can totally relate to needing to get the hell outta Dodge!!

I hope readers remember to hit the PayPal button today if they are relieved the site is still up!

Thanks for the great work here!

Good to hear that you'll continue this site.

Btw - let us know a week or two in advance when you're planning on hosting a fundraiser. I'm sure people will be willing to donate now...

Go First Amendment. Go Philip! I don't have your troubles because the only people who read my blog are friends and relatives.

I LOVED your comment "So you agree on something right out of the chute. You seem to disagree on everything else though." This sums up all the hair splitting 'you have to agree with every comma' folks to a T. They don't even realize when they are agreeing about something!

I read your blog because you have an authentic voice, you know how to spell, and you are willing to change your mind, given facts. Right there, you've got the haters by the noogies, and they can go play in somebody else's sandbox.....

You deserve the best vacation ever. I hope you get the hell out of Dodge and enjoy yourself doing what makes you happy. It's no fun living life on empty.

I am very proud of you for sticking around. I figured you wouldn't pander to the trolls. (wink)

Yay!

Philip,

I get GOPD sometimes too [thanks for the belly laugh]. GOPD is part of being human.

Burn-out happens also and I hope you really enjoy your wonderful week away from it all.

Yes, go slowly this week - get your personal agenda accomplished - and remember that, although you have had almost 20 bad years due to psychaitry, you are still alive and kicking! Quite an accompplishment. Thanks Be.

Also Thanks Be for the wonderful blog. Maybe this is your real purpose in life - why you were born and why you are walking around on this planet. Life is a mystery - the biggest mystery of all - so who is to say there is not a purpose for each and every human living & breathing here - even if we all do suffer from COPD from time to time!

If blogs are seen as an equivalent, or allegedly better than what the mainstream media provides now to our society, there still has to be boundaries and respectfulness to be seen as legit and responible.

Having been a commenter to various blogs about mental health issues for the past 6 months, I have learned one thing at least: your audience is a reflection of you, like it or not, and if you want to be credible, you have to ask it of your particpants. If I wrote some of the things I have read here, I would have been censored and deserved it; in fact I was once, at Dr Carlat's site for using curse words in discussing colleagues, so he let me know quick he has a level of appropriateness he will not compromise on by allowing too loose a lip.

The first admendment to me reflects free speech is BOTH a right and a privilege. If blogging thinks that it can hide behind this definition and then be slanderous, inciteful, and cruel, its legitimacy will be lost with time and poor example.

The point here? I think Philip has a right and a responsibility to monitor comments and not print what is NOT fair, respectful, and encouraging to the dialogue at hand. I'm sure there are sites out there that want to be bash-fests; I don't think this site should or is one of them.

I believe you are what you surround yourself with, and if you want to be critical and challenging AND be heard and considered, it has to be healthy while harsh.

That is an opinion, as it usually is. One thing I have learned is I am not interested to author a blog if people think there is little to no accountability to what you write, author or commenter. I hope this sites lasts. Mental health care providers need to read info from sources like this if things can change for the better.

I am greatly releaved to hear that you are going to continue! I have the utmost respect for you, even if I don't always agree. I hope the personal matters are resloved in a manor to your liking. Thank you for being a voice that will not be censored!

I am so glad to see this entry, Philip.

The First Amendment is a restriction upon the government not the people. The Founders were rightly concerned with the ability of the government to silence public dissent - in particular the public square which was common forum.

There is no "right to free speech" in a blog, newspaper, or corporation. The restriction is upon the government, not private individuals or groups.

Too often the First Amendment is incorrectly waved about as a carte blanche to say whatever one wishes or as a shield to hide behind.

There is no privilege, and the right does not circumscribe what a person may say, but rather what the government may disallow.

I'm glad you've decided to continue because I think you provide a valuable service here, Philip. In reading some of the comments under your "I'm Done...Maybe" post, I think you also have some very thoughtful readers - maybe even more of that type than any other.

I think it would be expecting too much to tell someone to accept an impoverished lifestyle when they had an opportunity for something a little more comfortable, but you know your own priorities. Maybe the freelance work or even this blog might eventually lead to something that will enable you to "do well by doing good", as the expression goes. Too many people have to struggle just to get by nowadays, I think - especially here in the U.S. where that type of thing seems so unnecessary. But that's a whole other topic.

Keep chipping away Phil. You are da man :)

Fid

I was hoping to forward this comment to your Aug posting re your birthday and professional struggles, but you did not open it for comments, so after perusing other postings, I feel this is a close second to post here.

Hello, my name is therapyfirst, and I am a blog addict. I realized today that being involved in postings does not provide me positive, productive and healthy reinforcing experiences, and after telling a commenter earlier today to never seek out treatment was my bottom. This is not a forum that I can benefit from participating in any further, so, I must accept the fact that when you have become pathologically dependent, you must accept abstinence as the correct model to practice. And so, this is my last posting both here and all other blogs, most notably mental health sites. I know I said this before, and I will be ridiculed by some, and I deserve it. My deeds will have to speak for me, so only by my absence will my committment be true. Kind of ironic, eh?

I am sorry for not reading the responses to what I last commented on earlier today at three different sites, but I do want to remember as much my efforts to educate Mark about dealing with withdrawal from different meds, as much as my shameful statement to Sally. I know that if I would go and read further comments, I will not learn what a colossal mistake I made in being drawn into this forum of interaction that goes against my grain: healthy, responsible interactions should be honest, direct, and forwarded with respect, not hidden by aliases, full of overgeneralizations, and without some form of moderation. And I have no one but myself to blame when it became apparent that the latter qualities are the supposed boundaries to this process. Well, at least I know now my limits and weaknesses, so I will regroup and reacquaint myself with my strengths and comfort zones, which are person to person dialogue and resources that put out accountability. That is not a slight at Philip, as he has been always transparent; I accept his choices are not mine and I have to pursue mine at my pace and acceptance. Even though I do admit the general media has serious weaknesses, at least you know who you need to confront, even if they end up ducking you.

Anyway, I didn't want to be hypocritical and write a rant, which after reviewing this I guess I still did, but I still want to finish with these acknowledgments:

1. Philip, I still say with conviction this site is of considerable value, and I hope it continues to have the impact you intended to hopefully create healthy and effective change. Good luck with future investigations and be as fair and responsible as you can. PLEASE NOTE: You need to ban my email site after you hopefully post this last comment, and I mean that sincerely. Addicts need people to hold them accountable, so please help me by granting this request.

2. Stephany, you probably have been one of the more moderate sparring partners in these and other discussions at Carlat, so thanks for your input and perspectives. I hope you and your daughter live long and prosper, as that phrase has applicability in real life, so I hope you accept it as intended.

3. Other clinicians who have and hopefully will comment hereon, carry on as you know you can and ought to for this debate to have meaning and a positive, productive impact in the end. Be the advocates you are. This debate needs it!

4. My detractors, all I can say to end this comment on as positive a note as able, I hope your beliefs and philosophies provide you the hope and faith that promote healing and progress. Not to be too corny, but I like the line Obi Wan says to Luke when Luke leaves to fight Darth Vader in Episode V: "Don't give in to hate."

5. Finally, and most importantly, to any readers who have been silent and just observers, if you do come across this comment posting in future times, the differences in mental health care are not just black and white, right or wrong, but full of gray and moderations. Anyone who says they have the right answer only has it for that person. Perspective is what you experience, and while we can be wrong in what we take in, it is our own unique experience in the end, and how we modify it will depend on what we hold dear in our framing and philosophies. As I said above, hopefully ones that give faith and hope, progress and productivity. Read on and learn!

I offer these three things to close, and do with them as you feel of value:

Fact: The Nazis in pre World War II first went after the mental health population in their zeal to perfect their "race". It is indisputable in my readings; research and prove me wrong if able.

Strong belief: Psychiatrists are one of the strongest and most dedicated patient advocates for those with mental health disorders. Not all of them are, but the majority will stand up and fight when the going gets tough. I have seen it and I believe it for myself.

Opinion(would I end with anything else?): if those of you who are committed to seeing my profession be terminiated/vanquished, and note how I present this next point, WHEN those who embrace evil and absolutes label those with mental health problems expendable/impaired/deficient/useless, WHO will stand up and fight for these individuals who had the clout and standing in the community to be heard, respected, and considered?

Be careful what you wish for, as history shows vision can be shortsighted and costly.

I mean this when I write it: BE WELL!

TF,

I still think your posts are of interest here and assume you'll keep on posting or come back. Sadly your fact about NAZI Germany is true. Perhaps you don't realize that psychiatry really did pave the way for the NAZI movement as any educated person or for that matter anyone who cares to google Ernst Rudin is aware. The

Still I agree to some extent that psychiatry should be reformed from the inside out. Human suffering should neither be treated like an aberration or a genetic flaw. When psychiatry stops doing so and in some instances continues and in others starts to offer validation, compassion, healing and at times pain management, it will live up to the likes of some of its greats, Mosher, Szasz, Jung, Freud (yes in spite of some of his nuttier ideas Freud had some great insights into the "normal" human mind.

Alright, after a long walk around the office building this afternoon, I have come to realize that I relapsed in my blog addiction, as I cannot comment at sites like this since it only brings out the anger and hostility that pervades it. Zealotry cannot be bargained or negotiated, things I have learned in dealing with antiabortionists and religious cults in my travels. And boy, some of you folks fit that to the T. So, I remind you of my signoff above about 12 days ago and have to remind myself that abstinence has to include not visiting the site in any fashion. Failure is a bitch to acknowledge, but pervasive failure is unacceptable. Hopefully, this effort will be successful and if it makes some of you very happy, at least you know how I felt when I read about Nemeroff being forced to resign over the weekend. Love to see, or at least read, that bad things can happen to bad people.

So, on that note, and to hopefully encourage the ban I asked for that 12 days ago, let me leave the folks who don't get it this final thought:

I hope your hate, distain, and absence of tolerance takes you to where it belongs. I'll leave it to your imagination and narrowmindedness to figure out "where it belongs" should be. The real irony is reading the last posting at Lamictal Withdrawal where Becky advises Theresa, I believe, to hang in there. Boy, if Theresa is having symptoms and signs of an impending stroke or other neurological problem, will your future apologies make her better? That was my point when I weighed in at the posting, but, you zealots have no fucking clue to what I am talking about. My comment about the road to hell is paved with good intentions should be the epitath for some of you.

Well, to err is human, to forgive divine. I don't think forgiveness is in the vocabulary for some of the participants here, so that adage will be lost by the end of this comment posting.

I actually feel better in telling the people here who have been so dismissive and rude, as I now have been to you, to fuck off!

Well, Philip, I have enjoyed the discussions overall, via email mostly. We'll see how much the coming storm clouds of the financial problems play out psychologically, as I last noted today. Don't think drugs will have the impact so many are now pursuing to make it all go away.

One last shot: in my opinion, Fransesca, you are pissed that Poe was banned. Makes you the heavy now, so be careful in leading. I just know in my heart the more unbiased, desired readers for hope and faith will know the truth at the end of the day. I guess you'll see.

I can't. I am gone. If you know of a blog equivalent to blogging anonymous, forward it to Philip who I hope would forward it to me.