Congratulations on your feat...I have a question? My daughter is bipolar or something..the doctors give her antipsycotics and they make her more psycotic..give her lithium and she gets more stable. Does this occure often?

My major diagnosis was major clinical depression. It took two years to find a medication that worked, and when I went off disability, I couldn't afford it, so I went off meds. I've been mostly all right since. Since I know this particular medication helped (I'm convinced that it took two years to find useful meds because I'm resistant to the placebo effect), I wonder if it made some sort of permanent change in me which has enabled me to stay off meds for two years. We're all guinea pigs anyway.

Happy anniversary.

You are a role model and inspiration to all of us.

Enjoy that drink, make it cold. It's hotter than Hades here.

You're a pioneer! A religion takes you to a promised land.

Is it very hard (nearly impossible)? Do you have to spend all your time self - regulating?

What's the most important advice? I want to be meds - free too.

Thank you,

Trish

"Nostradamuses"
:)
Philip,
I'm very happy for you! Really happy.

Congratulations! I wish I could function without these meds. I really hate them.

You go, Phil!

If I'd known this was coming I'd have baked a cake... a lamictal tablet shaped cake, which we could've smashed with a baseball bat.

I'm hoping I can get off the stuff myself sometime in the not too distant future. A psychiatrist I was seeing years ago put me on it and left me on it despite the fact that I didn't think it was having any effect. I wonder if he just didn't want to put me through any period of withdrawal while I was still depressed. It's a theory that makes sense, but it still irks me.

Mazel Tov, Philip.
I think psychiatry, like every other branch of knowledge, is growing, evolving and changing. What was known 18 or 19 years ago, looks very different today.
Do you really care what your label is? You're you. No two people with a bipolar disorder label are identical. Or any diagnosis. We are all unique. You've proven that. Perhaps the therapy of your work, your writing, your self-examination in this blog has healed you. (Did you read the cover story in yesterday's NY Times? If not, do!)
If you must have a label, and I see no reason for such a need, other than your name and perhaps “human” – “American,” if you like – why not consider yourself in recovery and carry on.
You don't need to be a "card-carrying" member of the Bipolar set to give your blog legitimacy. You are a fine journalist, a gifted writer and a superb researcher. You provide an essential service, here, at Furious Season. Your "voice" as a columnist, which is what this blog is, resounds with anger and passion for your subject.
I wish I could go off my medication, Carbemazepine, but because I never get depressed, ever, just psychotic, I'm afraid to risk it right now. (My diagnosis is bipolar, too, although I'm really unipolar.) Besides I’m side effect-free. Going off Carbemazepine affects the blood levels of my immunosuppressants – for iatrogenic endstage kidney failure/transplant caused by Lithium toxicity. I'd have to have weekly blood work. It's a big deal. I'm not up for it now, though for nine months, I went off it. To go back on, I had to be hospitalized.
Celebrate the fact that you've thrived and you’re getting better all the time! Who says the psychiatrists are always right with everyone when they say mental illnesses are lifelong conditions. Like diabetes. People heal. You’re not the first.
Why ponder what was or might have been. Just keep on doing what you do so well! Psychiatric diagnostics are far from scientific. They're opinion. There are no tests, x-rays, scans or blood tests that can confirm or deny a diagnosis.
Why not just stay in the present. Do what makes you productive and keeps you feeling well.
You're a lucky man! And you deserve it.

Congratulations, I would add the caution that the 40 billion dollar industry does want you back. So be careful.

Or am I just a medical freak show, the lone exception that proves the rule?

Sorry..that's not even remotely possible---I know and am in touch with hundreds of people who are med free and many of them for much longer than you...you are not a freak, psychiatry labels us freaks when we take the meds, to become med free proves that we were never freaks---at most we may have been in need of psycho-social supports, but not neurotoxins.

Anyway!! Congrats! And I hope you enjoyed your drink.

congratulations on your efforts this past year and beyond now. Yes, you are right, bipolar is overdiagnosed for lots of reasons, some misdiagnosis, some due to immaturity, and some due to medical issues missed due to the psych symptoms allegedly so severe, and other causes.

True Bipolar patients need treatment for a good period of their lives, not always meds for the rest of their lives, but support, education, and maintaining what I call "the barometer", as in someone or ones who the patient respects as the reporter to the patient when he/she is not looking like at baseline. The patient has to respect this input, as the mania always gets minimized and underreported to providers.

Watch for triggers. I believe there is a good portion to relapses with mania and depression that are due to psychosocial stressors, the environment, and serendipity.

Good luck to you for future stable mental and physical health.

What's the next issue, dude!?

I'm considering starting medical treatment. The thing is, I've got a really addictive personality, so I'm scared. My doctor recommends it, but what if I won't be able to quit? What if it will get worse, once I stop?
Anyway, thank you for posting, I really love your blog.
I found another one I really like-
http://anxiousangst.blogspot.com/
Check it out if you have the time :)

I know this might offend some people, so please be aware that is not my intention when I say this but personally I believe that Bi-polar is more of a personality trait than an "illness"..
It varies in range from person to person because the human personality and behavioral range is so diverse and complex..
Labeling someone as "bipolar" is completely wrong in my opinion..
All psychiatric diagnoses are fraudulent in nature and deceptive on practice..

Good for you, Philip, congratulations!

I'm in the same boat--episode-free for four years, mostly med-free for three years (other than a low dose of trazodone for sleep, which I recently kicked).

I have the same questions you do--did I ever really have bipolar in the first place? Have I cured myself? My psychiatrist says I'm an anomaly. Last visit, I asked him if we ever get to the point where we talk about undiagnosing me, or misdiagnosis. He said no...and fed me some crap about how I did have those experiences and if I ever do again, they want it in my records, but I've got to wonder if they just don't want to see a potential cash cow walking out the door.

Hi! Congratulations on your accomplishment. It is interesting hearing you reflect about looking back at who you were when you were 25/26. I am 26 now, having been diagnosed at 17 and medicated since 16 until now. I am not attempting to go med-free at the moment but nonetheless I identify with looking back at the person I was when I was diagnosed and wondering how that person could possibly have anything to do with myself today. I can manage without meds for maybe 2 weeks but then woah I am that different person again. I'm sure this is a common experience as well. I wish you continuing good work, luck, and peace.

Pax,

Adam

Congratulations - always nice to hear stories like yours.

I think part of the obsession with meds in terms of bipolar disorder is the very high suicide rate. That fear, often leads mental health professionals to prescribe meds for "maintenance" - and for some, they are a life saver.

Philip,
I was cursed many times by mental "health" professionals: "You'll never get better if you don't continue working with me" and "You'll need to be on medication the rest of your life." The one I like best was the woman who waved my MMPI in the air and bleated "But I've never seen anyone with your profile who wasn't on meds." Somehow I didn't see that as a compelling reason to go back on meds. I sort of felt she probably needed to work on her own issues with MMPI results, meds and people with psych dxs instead of shoving chemicals down other folks' throats so she'd feel better.

I've been off meds--and doing much, much better without them--for at least ten years. I've been out of therapy--and much happier and stronger without it--for nearly that long.

I'm in kind of a similar place as you because about a year ago the medical "experts" finally noticed what I'd been saying for decades--I have hypothyroidism. I've had a laundry list of classic symptoms for years, may as well have been wearing a tee shirt with the legend "This woman has hypothyroidism" for all the good it did me.

So I've lost almost 30 years of my life and am trying to figure out what's next. You are correct, the person you left behind is no longer there. We can only go forward from here.

I know I sound angry a lot. Well, I am angry a lot. This didn't need to happen. But I'm also way too busy enjoying what I now have to waste a whole lot of daily time on looking back. In a way, I'm in a better place than many people my age. My life is just beginning in so many ways. The first thing I did when I started to feel better was get a part-time job. I snagged one I actually like. Now I'm looking at some schooling options. I'm so old my sweetie's going to retire in about five years so there's that planning to do.

Welcome to the world, Philip. Who knows what it holds for us. I wish you all the best on your journey. You and your blog are one (okay, two) of the things for which I am thankful.

Sherry

Congratulations on your first med-free year! I know how great it feels. For nine years I was treated for major clinical depression with 20 different medications, more than 100 ECTs, and 80 weeks in psych wards. I did not respond to medical treatment, but when I finally explored, and addressed, the spiritual roots of my own depression, I found lasting freedom.

It's been another nine years since my last shock treatment, last visit to the psych ward, last appointment with my psychiatrist, and last dose of antidepressant meds. Whenever I speak casually to someone in the mental health field about my experience they absolutely cannot believe that someone with my history can be depression-free without medication. I'm living proof that they can.

Like you, I don't even recognise the person I was during treatment for my depression--or who I was prior to it. At 44 years of age it's as though my life is just beginning, brimming with potential, and I am so excited to see where it takes me!

Have a great RE-birth-day!

Sharon Fawcett

author of HOPE FOR WHOLENESS: The Spiritual Path to Freedom from Depression

Regarding "bipolar" and what it means, what it is, I try to think of it as a cluster of symptoms, or maybe more accurately a range of behaviors, that are triggered in response to stress. Mania and psychosis are really coping mechanisms -- ways of handling stress when we can't take it anymore. Now some people get stressed a lot more easily than others and others have some pretty darn big issues to get stressed about, but the important aspect of this whole thing is the stress and that's what seems to get thrown out the window when we start throwing these labels around. When we take pills we are treating the response but we're not doing anything about learning to manage the stress and we're not doing anything to modify the stressors -- ultimately that's really what it's going to take to get better. I think the whole profession of psychiatry has conveniently forgotten this piece of the puzzle in their rush to biopsychiatry.

But that's an aside to the main issue here which is your continuing march to wellness. Congratulations not only on doing it yourself but also, more importantly, on sharing it with a whole host of others and showing us what's possible.

Congrats on making it a year! I've had many of the same questions, at 1 1/2 years med-free, and better than ever. False positives are the elephant in the living room for psychiatry, particularly when it comes to diagnosing kids and adolescents. There is absolutely no acknowledgment that mis-diagnosis (or full recovery) happens.

Congratulations, Philip! That's quite the accomplishment. I have to admit that I'm jealous. I'd like to be where you are medically...

Philip,
Congratulations!! Enjoy that drink. I'd love to buy you one next time I am in Seattle. I have been off all meds for over 2 years. I thought I was one of those misdiagnosed bipolars, but then I went back into a hypomanic phase in mid-May. But with a lot more self-understanding, just taking time off from work when I needed to, and apologizing when its needed, it really is going pretty well. As I look over the last 5 years, I can say that depression and hypomania without drugs is much better that with the drugs. The drugs made all my symptoms worse.

My psychiatrist pretty much says I am ok without drugs as long as I am not disruptive. Its a little risky but so far so good.

Camas

I'm glad you made it to this side of the story Philip, off meds and able to tell it. I hope more people question dx's and med taking as a result--because years and decades lost from a lifetime can never be replaced and as you write here--if it was for 'no reason'then one has to wonder what life would have been like had none of this happened. It's how I feel about my daughter. Age 11 to age 20. She didn't stand a chance in hell with that bp child dx where docs convinced her more than me--with threats she would kill herself off meds--basically bullying fear tactic in my opinion.

Anyway,congratulations being med-free, that's got to feel like some sort of freedom in a way, though left with so many questions.

Cheers

I was mentally unwell, Philip has told of his mental unwellness. The problem is the treatment. The diagnosis being probably wrong (lifetime of mental illness) is the ultimate betrayal. Breaking one of the ten commandments. "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor"

Hey Philip,
As you can see from the time of my post this morning, it was early and I wasn't quite "with it."
I forgot to mention that it was yesterday's NYTimes Magazine cover story, "My Years Living Dangerously," I thought you should read, if you haven't already.
It's a stunning excerpt from a new memoir by NYTimes reporter, David Carr.
His book, "The Night of the Gun," won't be out for a few weeks. In this story, adapted from the book and headlined "Me and My Girls," he writes with eye-popping honesty, poignance, wit and insight about how his baby twin daughters helped him to recover from his soul-destroying, near-fatal crack addiction.
He used all his reporting skills to research his own life. Took two years to do it. In 60 interviews.
"The truth, if there is a truth," he says, "lies in the spaces between people."
This memoir raises the bar on the genre of memoir-writing.
You may feel you've lost your religion after all your drug-free years. You may question what your illness is all about. You'll always question. You're curious by nature or you wouldn't be as good a journalist as you are.
What you do, with your writing, is continue to peel away the layers of the onion, even though you may never reach your core.

Congratulations! I think the elephant in the living room of therapists is any conpetence or humanity on the part of people they diagnose.

Way to go, Philip! If you were here, I'd kiss you. Bipolar is just a word, as meaningless as any other diagnostic term. Think of it as a synonym for "gifted," which you most certainly are. Have a beer on me.

Dearest Philip:

I guess I should be saying congratulations and all the standard bullshit. But Bipolar or a label has never been what you are in the first place. I believe you have been around long enough observing the system and how it works to question everything and believe nothing.
The DSM is a tainted pile of manure written by no nothings with an evil agenda. Psychiatry is a complete shame, and they should all be ashamed to call themselves medical Doctors (remember that “do no harm” oath they all took as they slipped a big fat check from Pharmaceutical in their pocket with no conscious or guilt at all), unless you want to include Witch doc’s, Horoscope readers, palm readers, and street drug dealers as Doctors also (yes I’m pointing fingers at everyone of them, that includes the so called Psych Doctors that write here).
We all live, we all die, and what happens in-between is either a mystery, a Greek tragedy of sorts, a comical joke on us all, or true destiny unfolded and tested to its very limits. Most people live in quiet desperation with only faith and hope as their guide.
Everyone knows ( even if they have talked themselves into complete denial) there is no justice or ethics involved in mental health today; just a lust for money, power, and status that continuously leads to millions of crimes being committed against humanity itself.
I wonder if this will get posted here. I know my last post was edited out!
Stan

Happy Anniversary and Congratulations Phil!!

I need to figure out the date of my anniversary. I have been lightly medicated for 7 years. And MEDICATION-FREE for at least 2 years.

For those who think it is possible to slip...and have an episode...they are right. And if you read the literature a drug like Zyprexa was developed for short term relief of manic episodes. I personally know people who slipped, had an episode, and used Zyprexa for a very short term to bring them down from the mania.
But they are very, very careful about using it. They watch what they eat and they have all kinds of other support.

It is always possible to "slip." But how you handle that "slip" is the important thing.

Your 1st aniversary of being drug free is a briallant achievement. The reaction from so many other drug free people is simply just great to read, so positive and encouraging. I am reducing Lithium at the moment and am three months into it - going quite slowly. Looking at who we are at this present moment - the past has shaped us into the beings that we are today. The best in life, love and happiness in ahead of us. Thank you again for such a huge response from people.

Great news! Congratulations! And thank you for doing what you do here on Furious Seasons.

Congratulations Philip!!

I know that you're definitely not a freak. Rather a unique, and wonderful human being who is abundantly sensitive and creative.

I was diagnosed bi-polar in 1978 and struggled on and off meds, in and out of psych wards for many years. I even lost custody of my two small children. I am considered unipolar because I only experienced extreme psychosis and not the deep, dark endless depressions that leave many hopeless and suicidal, although I did make several attempts to end my life. The anguish of loosing my children and not knowing how to cope were overwhelming and painful.

I have not taken any medication for over 15 years now and consider myself in recovery. This didn't happen over-night. It was a long slow process, with many ups and downs and lots of creativity. Every day is about attaining a balanced, quality life-style. What that means to me is proper nutrition, exercise, sleep and reducing stimulation.

I believe that labels are for jars, not people. You Philip are a gifted human being that is now living holistically, authentically as yourself, in my opinion.

And to you I say ...
L'Chaim!

Elly Litvak.

However you celebrate this monumental occasion, and your next birthday; just make sure you live in the moment and really celebrate!

I've had too many losses this year not to say that. Live, love and risk...while here, and live to the fullest extent possible, because we truly do not know what comes around the corner.

Life is too short for regrets, though while we are here questioning how we got to certain points in our life is imperative, as long as we don't get stuck in the quagmire too long.

Again, I say cheers!

Phillip,

Having been clean off of all psych drugs for almost 5 years and talk "therapy" for almost 4 years, I congratulate you.

It's great to see you reporting the mental health scene as you live it with the objectiveness of a reporter. Your swat at anti psych bugs me, predictably, and yet, you're on the wave.

Of course if someone feels s/he can be helped by a psych drug, with full disclosure of the risks, I think these drugs, like others, should be legal.

BTW, a doctor can't undiagnose you without confessing malpractice which is perhaps the leading reason pshrinks don't do it. Anyone who still has a pshrink insisting that label applies might think about talking to a lawyer.

Imagine a cardiologist saying, oops, you didn't really have heart disease, looks like I did that triple bypass for nothing, here's your money back.

Seriously, congrats!

Congratulations on being psych-drug free for a year, Philip! I think you are probably better off in the long run if you can live without those drugs because they almost all seem to have potentially serious side effects which become more and more likely the longer you take them. What helps in the short run may turn out to be a curse in the long run - that's one way of looking at it. It also seems clear to me that many people who are given these drugs don't ever benefit from them at all. Most psychiatrists seem to be mainly concerned about legal liability. If they see someone who seems to deviate from the norm in any way at all and they don't prescribe them some drug, then they could be sued if that person later commits suicide or is violent towards someone else. They seem to have no fear of liability for any damage done by the drugs they prescribe. Apparently they are immune from blame for that because of the thing about it being commonly accepted practice. In any case, I think the patient's best interest is not often their top priority.

Though I don't think I ever was given a bi-polar diagnosis/label, I had some others - I'm kind of hazy on the details of what exactly they were - but I think those things are often more of a theory than a description of anything that really exists. Before my involvement with the mental health system ended, prior to the dawn of the 1980s, I didn't really know if I needed their drugs or not (I took mainly Stelazine, but I think there might've occasionally been a some other drugs involved as well). I think I got some short-term relief from different kinds of anxiety, stress, fears, worries, etc. from the drug(s), and I didn't want to give them up if they were keeping me from going through some of the terrible experiences which I had previously.

What ultimately made me stop taking them was something you might call "social concerns", I guess. One example is when I was at an ex-patients social club one day, and a group of newly ordained young psychiatrists came through on some kind of a tour. I overheard one of them jokingly say to another "Did you forget to take your pill today?", or something like that. There were other experiences like that in different places that made me feel like that taking the pills made me part of a group that could be publicly mocked or ridiculed, if that makes any sense. Anyway, I came to believe that taking psychiatric drugs had a very negative effect on my place in society, so I gradually and very carefully weaned myself off of the Stelazine. I may never know what long-term damaging effects I avoided by doing that, if any, but I don't think I missed out on very much of a helpful nature. One thing that I think is kind of generally true, though, is that a person has to be kind of watchful of their thought patterns and where they may be taking them. Not to worry about all the little things, but to try and be mindful of the overall big picture, and keep things generally on the right track as much as possible.

Well, anyway, I just want to join everyone else in wishing you continued success with everything.

I should have said, lightly medicated after years of being "zombified."

I'm glad it's working for you.

I stopped taking meds last year and after 4 weeks had a major psychotic episode. If I try that experiment again I'll end up divorced.

Stephany -- that's great advice! Life is too short for regrets. I heartily endorse that. Even if all sorts of awful things have happened that didn't have to have happened we need to look forward not back and say where do we go from here? No matter what our past is, there can be a lot of joy and happiness ahead if we believe in it. Let the love begin. (Sorry -- I know this is a little corny.)

For many years I took whatever the psychiatrist said to.It was practically the whole PDR. He gave me more and more "interesting" labels as I wasn't getting better and he saw all the drug side effects as symptoms.One day I stopped Seroquel and tapered off all the rest. It was a hard battle but been over 5 years.No relapses. He admitted he wrongly diagnosed me. He had taken away something so precious-my belief in myself. I was given a psychiatric label and it was all I was suppose to ever be.

I salute you for your first year of being drug free. We will not get back all the years on drugs/being drugged. We will go forward and live well.We will believe in ourselves again-always.

What's up with all of these "congratulations"? What ever is wrong with psych meds? They're good. They help people. People live better lives because of them. I think all the congrats and mazel tovs and cheers and l'chaims, are out of place. Philip is AMAZING but not because he went off his medication!!!

One thousand congratulations!!!

when i first rejected my diagnosis, went off meds, i saw myself as the lone crazy wolf, leaving the pack to stumble down a desolate road in search of something better, and not even knowing if there was a better, or what it looked like.
And every story i hear of others who have done something simmilar, are feeling out some idea of it, or entertain it as a valid notion (this going off meds, this re-claiming of person) strengthens my resolve.
now i see companions on this path i chose,
serendipitous friends on a winding road and none of us are alone.
thank you Philip (and all) for so bravely, shamelessly putting it out there.
grateful--
jenna

Philip, I'm not trying to hijack this positive thread. Congrats you're amazing,still, I have to write this.

Kent, your comments worried me because of the truth in them. Yes, it's true that psychiatrists claim that anytime they don't treat someone they may face criminal liability for that person's actions, however, that is not a fact, it's a defense. It's also true that psychiatrists can use another defense to malpractice, community standard, but still the "patient" has more rights than one might think. The two biggest impediments I see to "patients" winning lawsuits against pshrinks are first that suing a pshrink is considered a symptom of mental illness and two that psych patients by definition have labels that make poverty likely.

Still, it's easier to find a psychiatrist to testify against other psychiatrists than it is to find a doctor in any other branch to do so. Just go over to the doctor blog sites Philip links to from this page and browse through them. You will note that pretty much all of them have this theme - I'm right and the other psychiatrists are fools. Read the posts by folks on this blog who hold themselves out to be psychiatrists, again, all about how the other pshrinks are wrong. There's no consensus in psychiatry about a community standard.

But there is a consensus about what a diagnosis should consist of. My theory is that these dudes should be stopped with false diagnosis cases. If someone doesn't meet the diagnostic criteria for say Bipolar Disorder, and was so labeled anyway, there's your malpractice and it shouldn't be hard to get a pshrink to say so too.

Generally, it seems like it'd be easier to sue on the diagnosis because Kent, you're right, once the diagnosis is considered valid, pretty much any treatment is okayed by society which makes the diagnosis that much more important and easy to win a lawsuit over.

Peace.

Philip-
Happy almost birthday!!! I think this is a good example that mind over matter is a powerful tool. Keep up your inspirational work!!!!

Good!
Seeing all these makes me feel happy.
I just want to comment this:
"I believe that Bi-polar is more of a personality trait "

No, truthman30.
It means nothing. There are many words for people who are "happy" and "sad" and whose mood swings.
Even normal people have this condition. :)
This word should be banished for it's causing more and more confusion.
For those with the real problem: the old Psychosis Maniac-Depressive.
The rest are neurotics, cyclothimics, normals, depressed, addicted to drugs, and many other problems with names that explain and don't hide and promote all this misunderstandings.
Let's call things for their real name and stop inventing and renaming diseases.
Perhaps in the next 20 years.
they have to make more money selling Seroquel, and all the stuff...

Sorry Philip!
I don't want to ruin your party. Just wanted to say it.. one more time...

Many congratulations!

I'm on meds, but very low dosages, and I'm healthy. According to the medical model, I'm not supposed to be healthy right now. I'm supposed to be on higher dosages of more drugs in order to be symptom-free. But guess what? When I was more heavily medicated, I was really freakin' sick. Being off meds doesn't work for me right now, and in the future it might or it might not, but lightly medicated works so much better for me than the way I was overmedicated before.

It is time to piss off a few of you, so my up front apologies to the author here, who has shown courage, effort, and dedication to expose the crap in my field, and equal apologies to anyone who reads these commentaries for support and information through these postings: I hope you continue your efforts at knowledge and growth. And now, to whom it applies:

My field has a place in society, and to you extremists who salivate for the possible demise of psychiatry, you sell out those who need the care people like me and others, who embrace treatment in the manner physicians were responsibly trained and practice, can offer those individuals. Who is going to take care of truly depressed, manic, anxious, delirious, psychotic, demented, personality disordered, and legitimate other diagnoses that I can't list here? You folks!? NOT! Primary care or family docs? They are a major player to the failure of meds-only attitudes out there today. Psychologists? You need medical training to prescribe, so buy into their lies and get what you deserve. Social Workers? They are a major reason mental health is getting so dismal in quality today (not all of them though).

Who else? "Mom/Dad, I can't stand your shit anymore these past 20 years, so let's talk about it". "Spouse, I am tired of your abuse or neglect, so let's talk about it". "Good friend, you are not there enough, or have the same problems I do, so let's resolve them". Hmmm, isn't the point of true therapy to be unbiased and objective? Takes those people out of the options, true? Oh, and for those of you who have hinted or said so directly that mental illness doesn't exist or just needs simple support, do you also dismiss heart disease and cancer as here and now problems too!?

You have your attitudes, you have your opinions, you have your perspectives, and you will voice them now and forever more if that is all you see and know. Maybe, just maybe, this rant will provoke some pause and consideration to think that there may be some purpose to what is called psychiatry when it is practiced responsibly, ethically, and accountable to others. Rigid, inflexible attitudes do not help much in society, so think about it.

As I said in my prior posting here, Mr Philip has made strides, I hope, and if he benefits from being med free, wonderful. Using this as a sounding board to scream "stop medications", I am sorry it doesn't work for you.

Faith and hope, that's the goal I offer for pursuit. How you find it is your path.

If you are pissed about what I have written, I simply ask, WHY?

thanks to all of you for the many kind comments. a few have asked how they can get themselves off-meds and i think i'll just try and take that up in a future post.

Of course there is a place for psychiatry in society, just as there is for psychologists and many other fields that exist to help with these kinds of things. I'm not sure where in this thread anyone has salivated over the possible demise of psychiatry, but maybe some of that is a matter of interpretation. I think psychiatry's place would be much more as a force for good than a force for evil if it wasn't for the power to forcibly treat people. I think it is good we have this blog and others like it where people can honestly voice criticisms about the destructive aspects of psychiatry without the fear of being beaten up, forcibly injected with drugs, thrown into a seclusion room, or any things such as that which are an integral part of what psychiatry does. Is there any place where psychiatrists face such possible consequences for stating their opinions? Psychiatry diminishes itself by retaining to commit and forcibly treat - but that's just my opinion.

Kent,

TF likes to throw down this same tired gauntlet and then bemoan the heated exchanges that necessarily follows.

I think you are spot on regarding commitment and forced treatment. Psychiatry could buy itself a great deal of credibility if it renounced such practices as inherently inhumane and unethical. I think this scenario is most improbable.

I'll contend that "Psychiatry" cannot be practiced responsibly, ethically, and be accountable to others. There may be individual psychiatrists that fit TF's self-described mold, but they are not and do not represent "Psychiatry". Psychiatry is a religion, a temporal paradigm of situational ethics if you will. The acquisition of legitimacy, power, and money is the only business of Psychiatry. I think we delude ourselves to believe otherwise.

Psychiatry has no natural place in our society. It is there because evil is allowed to exist and good men do nothing. It exists because far too many people refuse to hold each other accountable for their actions. It exists because our society demands rigid conformity in act and thought. It exists because we allow it to exist, not because it is necessary or contingent. Without the force of law empowering it, psychiatry would easily be exiled to some backwater no-place.

So, what does psychiatry do for TF's "truly depressed, manic, anxious, delirious, psychotic, demented, personality disordered, and legitimate other diagnoses that I can't list here?" It uses these people for medical experimentation. It tests hypotheses on people that PETA wouldn't allow performed on a dog. It lies to them regarding the basis of their symptoms, their long term prognosis, and threatens their liberty if non-compliant. It shortens their lives. It outright kills some of them. But hey, at least the public doesn't have to deal with the lunatic fringe disturbing their quiet suburban life. Yeah, Psychiatry does do that. Let's also not delude ourselves that psychiatry plays a benign role here either.

Happy anniversary, Philip. (Since I'm still on meds, mine will have to be a virgin ...)

You've raised some incredibly complex issues in this post, and I can't wait for your follow-ups to (perhaps) untangle them. In the meanwhile, a deserved toast!

@therapyfirst: this was not an anti-med thread until you turned it into one in your mind! your arrogance precedes you.

This is about a person being able to go off of meds after nearly 2 decades.

This is one time you need to just STOP.

Stephany,
Thank you for saying this.
I have some answers but i don't want to write it here.

This is about a person being able to go off of meds after nearly 2 decades.

Philip,

As a special gift on your anniversary, I feel compelled to be the one that brings up Tom Cruise, so I submit to you this link, to Dr. Nassir Ghaemi's blog where he complains of being called "Tom Cruise." http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/mood-swings

It's funny because in my way of thinking he's one of the most pro biopsych folks out there, a proponent of the idea that bipolar disorder is underdiagnosed, an hypothesis I ardently disagree with, and yet here he is being called anti-psych. Just goes to show how hard this all is to discuss.

It is a bit pathetic some of you do not read your postings and then deny what you write. Well, I guess interpretation is part of the process, so Gwen's july 21 comment and Philip's posting today are not to be accepted either.

As I asked at the end of the last comment, If you are pissed about what I wrote, why? I respond to what I read, so what I am missing or overreading in these comments?

Today's posting by Philip must be mind wrenching for some of you, since the psychiatrist seemed to have been supportive and caring.

Gray is a tough color, isn't it!?

Hmm, no one has replied since my last posting at 11AM my time, as I type now around 11PM. Is this because I am provoking thought, you tire of my challenges, you just don't care, something else?

Well, I hope I am provoking thought, even if one ends at the same position you began at. Face it folks, my theory is this, for anyone interested:

Mob mentalities don't take you far, and you will grow weary as all you hear is your own gospel. I think some of you truly hate me for joining this site and having a different opinion on some of these issues, 'cause change or other perspectives take away the control. So, you project I am taking control, when all I am doing is voicing a different viewpoint, and when in the end, it is just my opinion. But, I am a psychiatrist, so I am guilty of what my peers/colleagues have done by their alleged poor judgment and actions. And from what I have read from those of you who have courageously shared since I have joined, some of you probably were not treated well. And that sucks!

But, I'm not going away, because I like what this site has to offer. So, if I have gotten a bit personal, maybe that is wrong, so I apologize if I personally offended. But, you started it, and while it doesn't justify my returning it a bit harshly as I have been accused of doing, you can't attack someone without the risk of retaliation. So, we can as a group find a middle ground and coexist with our polar opposites in viewpoint while hoping the occasional readers will read our viewpoints and experiences and gain something from this process of a valuable blog.

Just a theory and opinion. Look forward to thoughtful and insightful replies as evoked.

Thanks for reading and have a good day.

TF-

Of course Gwen's comment is not to be ignored. She is on medication, so is my daughter. Gwen has documented her struggle throughout this blog in many posts for a very long time.

She is my inspiration, and she is heroic as a person, who has my respect, love and hope for her future to be what she dreams.

Personally, being a long time reader of this blog, and having the support from Philip during some horrid times re: my daughter, and long before that--I just feel the need to once again say,

Cheers Philip! you went throught a lot to get to the point you are at today, and thank you for all of the work you do here, and what you do for others off this blog.

Jesus TF!
I will not read you any longer.
If you are a good psychiatrist stop complaining and go do your job.
I wonder how such a good Psychiatrist has time to be on a Blog!
If I was a psychiatrist I would be beside my patients taking good care of them!
That's what one of the psychiatrist I respect told me once:
"-We are talking about politics. I know there's too much to discuss. But I have to take care of my patients! I own this clinic and I have to take care of them and also the psychiatrists who are here. It's a hard job but that's my mission in life!"
He is already dead!

PHILIP!
ONCE AGAIN!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But please you deserve one, and only one drink ok?

Can you imagine becoming addicted to alcohol?
:o)
You would end up having to have... Zyprexa...

Sorry for the joke!
Could no help it.
But it's funny that psychiatry is treating addiction to cocaine and other drugs putting people on more drugs.
Ironic.
Pleas Philip,
Go to AA! An advice, just in case!
:)

Lord! Please let Philip be in a good mood today! I'll pray now!

"Pai nosso que estais nos céus..."

Wow!
I'll have to learn to pray in English.
My grandma is dead now. Didn't had time to teach me in English. As a matter of fact: she didn't speak English. Only Italian."

I'll search of it in English Philip"

Lord! Please let Philip really be in a good mood today! I'll pray now!

"Our Father..."

I believe it starts like this.

Bye.

Congratulations Philip!

I've had almost 19 years of seeing my life and experiences through the lens of a disorder. And, now what? How do I reconcile and correlate who I was when I was 25 and 26 with who I am now? I don't know because I cannot even remember who that guy was,...

Philip,
This is a hell of a question! Many people ask themselves this very same question. Me included.
I decided not to pay attention on this question.
We are on our 40ies. I'm pushing 50.
Live, Philip, live!
All we have to do is keep on living!
Many people at the same age without having seeing themselves through the lens of a disorder lost themselves on the way.
Some of them are asking "-What have I done with my life?; where are my dreams... and many questions alike."
I believe we must live. Sometimes meeting the boys or girls we were, talking to them, meeting the twenty years old we were... saying hello to them and keep on with our lives the best way we can.

Back in the days of the OS/2-Win95 os wars arose a term that still has its uses today: "Don't wrestle the pis. You just get yourself dirty and it annoys the pig". Of course, this was quickly shortened to "dwp" and was commonly used to quash trolls.

I like to say it aloud before I type. Sometimes it works, sometimes I hit the post button.

TF,
The only thing I want to add is a question:
Why do you use this nick?
You are clearly practicing psychiatry and advocating as a psychiatry and not as a therapist.
Why TherapyFirst if you are a psychiatrist and has the discourse of a psychiatrist, advocates and defend psychiatrists methods and so on?
Once again I'm deeply confused about the difference of therapy and psychiatry in US.
I've said it many times.
Still got no good reply.
Around here, as I already said, psychoanalysis blah... blah.. blah..
I believe I've already talked about it so many times that you already know my questions.
What I know is that I truly believe this is not the place for this kind of discussion.
If both of you have your issues please go someplace to discuss it.
It's not of great value for the whole picture.
This is what I think.
Perhaps for others it can be enlighting.

I know I am lucky, but luck only accounts for so much. The rest is all questions: Did I ever have bipolar disorder?

LabelSchmabel. You had some perfectly valid personal issues like practically everyone else.

Was my initial diagnosis wrong?

Only an accurate genetic test will show for sure

Am I a false positive?

It is a consensus diagnosis, you tell the doc your symptoms it’s not a misdiagnosis unless you lied or did not confess enough details to discriminate otherwise. Or unless some other medical reason is found to cause the same issues.

Did I cure myself?

Yes you did

Am I simply a bipolar who does well without meds?

You are person that is doing well without bipolar and meds

Am I in a lengthy remission that will crumple on me someday?

Perhaps. The longer you remain stable, the less likely the remission. If there was any *benefit* to being bipolar it is this.

Over the years you developed an accurate internal awareness and a core of honest self reporting. You will be able to tell if you start to slide before it becomes a major problem.

You are aware of your internal world, not just cruising through life on autopilot. Emotional or cognitive issues are unlikely to just sneak up without warning from out of nowhere for you.

Is the diagnosis of bipolar disorder bullshit to begin with?

That is the million dollar, err, multibillion dollar question isn’t it?

Personally, I think everyone is in for a big let down with regards to these biomarker and brain scans.

Those biomarkers and brain images are mere snap shots of the illness in action. They do not show causation or hierarchy of primacy. They are already failing to predict with regards to ADD meds. I doubt the gene based bipolar meds will fare any better.

There is every reason to believe that your chemicals are no longer imbalanced. In time I would be willing to bet that your brain and biomarkers will scan less and less like those suffering from bipolar if they still do at all.

Does the disorder ebb with time?

You cope and adapt. You change. You get better at handling stuff.

Or am I just a medical freak show, the lone exception that proves the rule?

You are not alone. You are in the growing *I kicked my bipolar* club and that makes you the man Philip.

The fact that you did it without converting to some other religion, without orthomolecular remedies or sequestering yourself to meditate for five years is really awesome.

It is a fantastic achievement and I have a lot of respect for you and I know others do to.

Thanks for sharing this wonderful post with the rest of the world. People need to read and know about recovery stories like this.

Congratulations on your accomplishment. I just found your blog and it is of particular intrest to me because I have been on Lamictal for 5 years for a "Bipolar Unknown" diagnosis (if you've ever heard that before like Bipolar Lite). Anyway, I want to be off all this stuff before I start a family...or at least *try*. I'm working up a plan now, and I hope my pdoc will back me up.

I have to say, I'm terrified of what will happen to me, but hearing that someone went off the meds and did not implode makes me happy. I will also have to deal with the Seattle winter since I live in the area. I do have a lightbox though, and I'm not afraid to use it. ;)

Congratulations again, I hope to enjoy more of your blog.

Wow....just...wow...