Furious Seasons

May 05, 2008

To Hell And Back: College Student's Misadventures In The Mental Health System

I'm not even going to attempt to summarize "To Hell And Back," a very brave piece of writing by a University of Kansas senior, Thor Nystrom. In it, he lays out how he got sucked into the mental health system big time (he was already on anti-depressants and ADHD meds) after a fight (induced by a combo of Paxil and booze) and how he's now basically walked away from it. It's a long piece and its got "Wow" written all over it. Many diagnoses ensue (including borderline), as do many, many meds. One group home he was in sounds like absolutely everything that's wrong with the mental health system (another place doesn't sound quite so bad), and the poor guy ends up out of college, ballooning to 330 pounds, ditching meds (cold turkey even. Like I said, "Wow"), working off the weight, getting himself back into KU and graduating.

"I will graduate on May 18. The diploma’s text will read: 'Thor Reabe Nystrom, The University of Kansas, Major Emphasis in Journalism.' But that’s not everything it will say. That piece of paper will say: Determination. Resolve. Fight. Conviction. Purpose. Willpower. Persistence. Success. Failure. Happiness. Sadness. Life. Death. Blood. Sweat. Tears.
"A broken man will accept it. He will look at it, and he will whisper to himself that he doesn’t deserve it; to never, ever think that he does. But there will be another voice in his head telling him that he has never deserved anything more in his entire life."

I know exactly what he means.

Posted by Philip Dawdy at May 5, 2008 12:44 AM

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Comments

Wow is right, that is top-notch writing. I hope we hear much more from him.

Posted by: flawedplan at May 5, 2008 05:01 AM

http://www.kansan.com/stories/2008/may/05/hell_and_back/?news

I have just read this guys whole story here, and it really resonated with me, I had very similar experiences with Seroxat (drinking, fights, etc) , apart from the psych ward part , a lot of it could be my story..

So many people are conned and coerced down the psychiatric merry go round, and it is a trip to hell for most..

I too am glad to be alive, glad to be off meds, and grateful for my freedom..

It could have been a whole lot different..

Posted by: truthman30 at May 5, 2008 05:37 AM

I am blown away by this man's journey. As a graduate student, I can totally relate to the horrors of school. Kudos to him for graduating!!!

Posted by: Michelle (The Beartwinsmom) at May 5, 2008 05:47 AM

Oh, how I can identify with this. I remember that feeling of freedom when I first realized I would never see the inside of a psych hospital ever again or swallow another pill. It was like waking from a bad dream and realizing it was finally over, and that I could have a different life. It was finally realizing there was hope for me.

Best wishes to this young man.

Posted by: Lisa at May 5, 2008 07:52 AM

Wow -- I agree. This honestly is the kind of story that brings tears to my eyes - I take it as totally and utterly vindicating of my point of view too whether this is right to do so or not. I am so happy when someone escapes the system. It could have been so very very different for him. Good Luck to him.

Posted by: Sara at May 5, 2008 08:39 AM

This has got to be one of the most inspiring and stunning stories I have ever read.

Posted by: Stephany at May 5, 2008 09:23 AM

That could have been me---I also strongly identify---complete with ending with the diploma---I was drug free when I got my diploma---and felt the same exact way he did---but damn---right after graduation was the final suck in that grabbed me and held me for the next 18 years.

I, too, hope we hear a lot more from him. We need critical young voices now more than ever.

Posted by: Gianna at May 5, 2008 12:21 PM

Great story. Nystrom's right, he's lucky to be alive. And he's description of the ease and lack of care with which schizophrenia is diagnosed is so accurate. I can't tell you how many rural people, finding themselves in the mental health system, usually for legal reasons, are asked by some detached intimidating MHP if they "hear voices," and thinking this is a question about whether they are deaf or not answer, yes, and get the label then become it.

Posted by: Sally at May 5, 2008 06:14 PM