Look out for what you wish for.

Be careful what you wish for. I'm sure Glaxo feels lonely not having their own antipsychotic, but do we really need another dangerous atypical out there floating around, cutting people down?

I'm not sure that long-term antipsychotic use would in fact "beat the hell" out of electroshock. Electroshock is a massive insult to the brain, to be sure, but once it stops, some measure of healing occurs. Using Risperdal and the like, on the other hand, changes brain function, structure and the patient's personality. These drugs also help turn an emotional crisis into a chronic disability. (Not suggesting electroshock is okay -- it's not!)

You're right on Francesca. I'm at the tail end of a Risperdal withdrawal and starting neuroleptics have been the biggest mistake of my life. I'm having hints of who I'll be once it's out of my system and it's someone with emotions I haven't had for 15 years. The sense of loss is heart breaking.

It's chemical restraint. And it's clear there has been damage.

Speaking of drugs changing personalities, when I was on Clozeril, I became so extremely apathetic, so extremely did not care, that I was seriously considering dropping out of school, quitting Honors, ditching journalism, throwing my beloved writing portfolio away -- and enrolling in PIMA Medical Institute to become a medical assistant. And that's what I would do for the rest of my life.

Also, I gained 70 pounds in just over three months; I drooled like crazy; I slept 14 hours a night; it was basically not a good situation. But I didn't even realize how bad it was cause I was half-dead. A living zombie. No personality. I didn't laugh, I didn't cry -- all I would do all day was draw little doodles on my foot. And drool all over the couch.

When I got off the drug, I felt as though I had been hiding in a cave, and had been let out into the sunlight; as though I were sound asleep and had now woken up; as though I all of a sudden I were me again, not some strange, sicko creature who couldn't fit into any of her clothes, who would doodle and pick at her foot all day and who smelled bad from all the drool.

One of my friends, upon seeing me post-Clozeril, remarked, "Gwen! I feel like I haven't seen you in such a long time! I mean, you were still Gwen, and we still loved you -- but now you're GWEN again!"

My dad and I were at our computers at Starbucks one morning, chatting away, and at one point, he looked right at me, with tears welling up in his eyes and said, "I feel like I haven't seen my daughter in years."

I'm seeing BILLY JOEL in concert Thursday night!!! And then I'm seeing KELLY CLARKSON in concert Tuesday night!!! My two favorite artists of all TIME!!!

I lost 25 point on my IQ from ECT. Don't every think for one second ECT is not premenate brain damage.