Given the many years of talk about a Recovery oriented mental health system one would want to believe that hope and morale has been a central focus. After all, one of the fundamental components of Recovery is Hope. How many of us can actually say that the most "intensive treatment" now afforded us - day programs, partial hospitalization programs, and inpatient treatment - has fostered hope or preserved it? How many can say that this "intensive treatment" destroyed what hope we had left?

Too often when we are most vulnerable the programs require that we internalize a message that is devastating. Tragically, being a good mental health patient or recipient or client or consumer often requires that maladaptation which is valued in the mental health system yet antithetical to achieving a meaningful life in the greater community.

That is a great article, and basing it on my own experience recently winning a tense court battle against a psych discharge plan--it was the new psych outpatient for my daughter that boosted my morale which gave me such a boost, I finally felt like I did a good thing, the right thing. Because, the people surrounding me where I was going against the "plan", were saying negative, and wanted negative. I walked out of there a "winner" but was a beaten down warrior is how I felt. When the new outpatient doc excitedly asked me how I "did that" and thanked me for preventing my daughter from going to the state hospital-- I couldn't believe a psych was thanking me, telling me I did a good job-- well after all of the hard work for months, you cannot imagine how that one conversation boosted my morale. Right back to where I could go back to work, and I felt positive again. The dynamic of boosting up a person is so enormous, that I feel meds wouldn't be needed if we all had a "life coach". Lighting that fire when we need it, telling us to kick some ass if need be--or kicking our ass if need be--it empowers us.

I wanted to add, that it's not the coddling, "it will be okay" that works--it's the kick in the ass that does. I was crying like a sap one day to a therapist in 2006 after my daughter was in the state institution for 3 weeks, and I told him how I wrote a letter to the Governor, got her out to due sexual assault threat, but didn't get a therapy dog in place, or anyone else out of the state institution. He played hardball, told me to stop crying, and "Oh well, you didn't save every single person in Western, write another letter!" I don't know if that translates well, but it was like saying to me, "Go back and give em hell".

That person was a life coach that I had for a few weeks in 2006 and always kept me focused, to the point I could draw back on things he said to me then--recently and was able to tell myself "Give em hell." and I did.

I knew I had 2 choices, to sink or swim, and I chose to swim. And won.

Hope is key...I try of think of these lines whenever I feel overly despondent:

I may live on until
I long for this time
In which I am so unhappy,
and remember it fondly.

Joe, I agree with every word you said. That was certainly my experience while inpatient. My resisting the role they were trying to create for me, that of chronic mental patient, was my saving grace. The fight to get out of the hospital should have been viewed as a sign of sanity, rather than a sign of mental instability. I find it kind of humorous that I was viewed as such a troublemaker in the psych hospital (according to my inpatient psych records), because it's so counter to how I am in real life. I really do get along with most people, and I have a healthy respect for authority. What would they say if they knew I was just selected by my colleagues and management as employee of the year, ha?!

Part of being mentally healthy meant that I needed to stand up for myself. I'm really glad I did.

I'm not sure my previous post went through, so I'm trying again. Joe, I couldn't agree with you more. The treatment I received came close to destroying me. I've never felt more helpless or afraid. The first time I was hospitalized I was forced to strip in front of a nurse, my clothing was taken, and I was given scrubs with block lettering on the back. I remember standing in front of the nurse, without clothing, trying to cover myself. My crime? Depression.

I had panic attacks and nightmares following that hospitalization. Not all hospitals force patients to strip, but that one did. You have to wonder sometimes how they think they are helping people by treating them in that manner. I think even the nurse realized it was wrong. She was uncomfortable and averted her eyes. I can tell you that humiliating someone doesn't do much for easing their depression.

I remember lying on the mattress that night and thinking what I really needed was a hug. I needed someone warm to sit down with me and just meet where I was at that time. I needed someone to help me deal with the overwhelming anguish I felt. Stripping me, and humiliating me, it was just wrong.

Lisa, I understand exactly what you write about here, from being [as we know]inside the wards w/ my daughter. I spent a great deal of time holding other women's hands as they cried to me, about what you write. My daughter went mute, I know she was strip searched too. I also find it a strange irony, that the women--and I focus on the women because it's what I saw--were always shot up with Haldol when they got vocal, and it was when they were talking about rights, drug reactions and smart things. The "difficult patient". BUT the irony in this, is that psych wards are short-term hell holes and most ppl. get discharged fast due to insurance and funding...so why I ask --after ppl I saw slammed down for being vocal and smart--are kept there at all.
I personally learned from observation how to "act in a ward to get out". Silence. Line up.Swallow the pill.Get out.
Then take life back. I'm glad you've got yours back. It's a twisted system w/out logic.

Twisted logic, is definitely correct. It took me a while to learn that simply changing to a different hospital wasn't going to improve the experience for me. One of the times I was attempting to leave AMA the nurse was saying, "Here take this." I was crying and demanding to leave. I refused her offer of, I assume, Ativan. I told her I had ligitimate reasons to be angry and didn't need a pill for that. I also told her that I wouldn't be able to drive after taking it, which I suppose was the purpose to begin with.

You're not allowed to be angry, crying is also bad, being mute is okay with them, in fact they prefer it. They didn't shoot me in the ass with haldol, but I saw it happen to a woman that a nurse had agitated. The woman was psychotic and the nurse picked at her until the woman started screaming. Classy.

My point is, it's just not an environment that's particularly helpful to people who are already depressed. I know they believe they are saving lives, but the staff (at the hospitals I was in) are seriously deluded if they think they are helping anyone. I'm sure they would whine that it all has to do with lack of funding, but being kind and respectful doesn't cost much.

I'm just sick of people harping that mental illness is a disease just like diabetes. It isn't even close. I've been in the hospital as a regular patient. In a regular hospital no one threatened me that if I didn't jump through certain hoops or follow certain rules that I would not be allowed to go outside or even go home. The nurses were kind. Visiting hours were until 9 pm. I was treated like a human being. I didn't cry. I didn't get angry. I didn't leave AMA. The reason? I was treated like the adult that I am.

I don't have any grand answers here. But I will say that if psychiatrists are going to encourage people to go inpatient, then once they're there treat the patients like human beings. Start with that. Pretend for a minute that it's a disease "just like diabetes."

One point Lisa makes here is one many ppl may not understand, [if one has not been inside a psych ward] that most[ not all] psychiatric hospitals appear like wards, not hospitals at all. This is why I stick to the word institution.Because it fits.

Stephany, I do know that you understand where I'm coming from. There is an opportunity for psych hospitals to offer comfort and hope to people who are hurting, yet more often than not they seem to cause more harm. They're so caught up in their rules that they too often miss the human beings in front of them.