Fear is one of the biggest inhibitors to coming off psych drugs and anyone doing it has got to realize that the moods one gets as one tapers has nothing to do with who you are as a person and everything to do with how these drugs affect the brain. You're irritable and angry because of the toxic effects and adjustments your brain is having to make to get back to some healthy balance of its own. Give it time, take it slow, and don't blame yourself. Blame the paradigms that made someone recommend this form of treatment in the first place.

So tell me... how rare is it to be on 300 mg of Lamictal? I was on 200 for several months and using a microscope to search for some difference it had made. So my doc asked me to try 300. He's game for 400 if I am. I am still making with the microscope, trying to decide if I am just a little teensy bit calmer. (Note: I have never been manic -- and if I've ever been hypomanic it might take a microscope to detect it.)

It's not the first time I've been asked to exceed the standard adult dose when that failed to work or stopped working. Cymbalta was the worst. If 60 mgs does not do anything good for you, please: don't let anyone talk you into 120.

I ran out of Lamictal for 3 days. By the time I got into the psych last week, I had the most horrific back pain and what I can describe as spasm/charley horse type of pain all over my back. Once back on the Lamictal that stopped.

My daughter took this drug, allegedly for bipolar depression. Catastrophe ensued, as she was acutely suicidal in between her "time of the month", had hot flashes; the works. Tapering off required inpatient hospitalization due to the danger of the suicidality. Others like Phil have had good luck with it, and we told the FDA Medwatch and Glaxo about it. Haven't heard a word. Thinking about bringing suit. Almost lost her.

I have been on Lamictal since May of this year. I started to have a rash, but didn't tell my doctor because I was doing so well. When I finally did call my doctor he advised me to stop taking immediately, but then I started to have several symptoms. So I started taking it over the weekend until I could see him today. Some of my symptoms are swings of fatigue and hyper, unable to concentrate, moody/snappy, lips tingling, thoughts of amd I crazy and am I ever going to be normal.

As far as being hard on Glaxo or suing for unacceptable withdrawals, we must remember that the origin of the disease of bi-polar is unknown, which makes it nearly impossible to cure or treat. I am just happy that in these times there are drugs that we can try to help with this horrible disease. And even though these symptoms are difficult to go through, I consider them far less than when I didn't have medication at all. The reason we are incouraged to keep in close contact with our physicians are because of the side effects.

I tried suicide twice, the last time I was almost successful. It was ten years ago and because of the severity of the slash on my left wrist I was unable to do the right and still have very little feeling in my left hand.

I'm just trying my very best to stay positive while trying to find the best medication for me and not hinder the progress of a medication that is more than likely a miracle worker for others.

I've been on 200 mgs Lamictal now for several years. It has worked pretty well although like Johanna, I had not experienced hypomanic or manic symptoms until just this year. I'm also on 75 mgs of Effexor, which I hate cause of the sweats. I'd like to try a different anti-depressant but in view of the current new hypomanic symptoms, I'm scared to change. These hypomanic symptoms have only been in the last few months and since I keep a mood and journal, my stress levels are no better or no worse than the past. I also have to take synthroid due to thyroid cancer, and hormone replacement therapy due to age, etc. (Sweats are not caused by menopause since I take HRT) Other than that, there have been no changes in medications. It's a bitch getting it all in sync, but these rapidly changing moods is starting to get on my nerves. I think some type of change is in order and will talk to my Pdoc at next appt.

Hi.(sigh). Where do I begin? Well, I'll tell you where I am now. I have decided to come off Lamictal. I've decreased the dosage from 200mgs. to 100mgs. In time, I hope to be off it completely. I used to take it at night, but now I take it in the morning. Something inside me says that Lamictal is very wrong for me and is doing more harm than good. For me, that is. I have to listen to my body an my mind and my spirit.

The funny thing is, is that I didn't really "become" bi-polar until I started taking medication. I used to smoke alot of marijuana. I no longer smoke, by the way. My parents(they do love me, and do want the best for me) took me to a psychiatrist when they noticed that our constant arguments and disagreements became increasingly aggressive on my part. The alternative was to get "kicked out", thus my indoctrination into the world of prescription medication. I was initially treated for depression, and my doctor put me on to Effexor to treat it, even though I told him I smoked. He said I was self-medicating. While taking Effexor,I experienced hours of hyper-ventilation at a time, and an embarrassing side-effect of when I would urinate, the flow would stop, and semen would come out,and then urine. This happened everyday. I figured it was one of the sexual side-effects that the pamphlet wasn't too specific about. I told my doctor about it, an he didn't really say anything. So, I accepted it and continued the treatment. One evening I experienced a weird thing(if that wasn't weird enough) of... I just felt uncontrollable, I was aware what was happening, but could do nothing to prevent it-- shouting, my body felt super-charged, out-of-control, confused feeling, racing thoughts... I screamed, trying to hold myself together and told my Mom to call the doctor. Dad got Haloperidol and Depakote. I calmed down after taking the Haloperidol, and that was my introduction to bi-polar medication.

My doctor said I was bi-polar. So, I was on Depakote for about...eight months? Diarrhea every day. I went to the bathroom between six and fifteen times a day, everyday. Difficulty urinating(the weird thing stopped happening, thank God). My doctor didn't say anything about it, so I accepted it as part of getting better.

Eventually, he put me on to Risperdal. I can't remember all the side effects of that one, but I didn't like it either. I continued with it for a for another four to six months, and now I'm on Lamictal. I've been on it since late last year.

Once, some time this year, I was without my medication for two days. My prescription had run out and I couldn't get in touch with my doctor. He was away at a seminar. I felt like I was "losing it". I knew it was an effect of not having any medication, but there was nothing I could do at the time. My Mom knew the pharmacist, and though it was highly irregular to dispense medication without a prescription, I got some "medication". The effects were immediate. I felt "normal" again.

Last November, I told him that I still felt depressed. He suggested another anti-depressant -- Paxil. I was very wary of taking it because of my prior experience with Effexor. Well, after a few weeks of contemplation, I decided to take it because I couldn't deal with the depression any longer. I took it for three weeks and stopped of my own accord. It helped. On my next visit to him he told me to stop taking it because recent studies indicated that anti-depressants could trigger manic episodes in bi-polar patients. I kinda figure that would have been common sense, and that was partially the reason I stopped taking it before his advice.

This is embarrassing, but I have to say this, since being on these prescription medications, I haven't had an erection. Not that I think it's any measure of being a man, but it's a normal bodily function. I never had this difficulty before. I know it's an indication that's something's terribly wrong, but it's passed off as "just" a side-effect. I've thought of some of the symptoms that indicate the bi-polar disease, and while I don't deny that I'm bi-polar, many of them do not apply in my case. I've never been suicidal, or sexually indiscriminate. I did and do have spells of depression and hypo-mania. I had never experienced hyper-mania until my encounter with Effexor. Since being on these drugs, I have had incidences of extreme aggression, more so than in the past,and still do to some extent, although fleeting, but this was since being on these drugs. My doctor says that chances are I will end up being hospitaliszed or in a psychiatric ward if I discontinue my medication. Needless to say that I am still somewhat depressed.

I'm very artistically inclined. I used to write alot, keep journals, write poems, write songs, paint and the lot. But since being on these drugs, I feel creatively AND emotionally blocked. Very numb. I struggle to keep my band together, and I haven't painted in a while. I do feel I have a strong will-power that helps me to carry on in spite of these drugs, and m depression, and my blunted emotions. Please understand, I'm not knocking all these medications. I think it's a blessing, truly, that they have medications to treat us who are suffering from these types of illnesses, but I don't think that they work for everybody. I also think that most of them are still experimental, especially with words and phrases like "seems to" and "appears to". And from my understanding and reasoning, and after a round about conversation with my doctor, he finally admitted that persons, though not in all cases, who have no prior history of mental illness, were they to take these(ie.Lamictal) medications, and abruptly discontinue them, would exhibit symptoms of a psychotic nature. I don't know what that means, but it kinda says to me that if nothing was wrong with them before, well...

The cost is great -- financially, but far more importantly, to the patient -- to the Human Being who is being treated. I don't think doctors should be too heavily involved in capitalism. I think it conflicts with the "business" of making people better. I think the business is to keep us sick.

I agree with Phillip Dawdy that Lamictal has fewer side effects than the others I've taken, but I don't feel it's all that great for me. I have difficulty urinating, erectile dysfunction, some kind of acne, rashes, creative and emotional numbness... And in the two to three years since I've started taking prescription medication, I've never felt so miserable in all my life.

I'm now seeing a different psychiatrist, and spoken with my former doctor about my consideration of discontinuing my medication. He insists that I will end up in a hospital. That's his faith. He says I can discuss this with my current physician. Somehow, I think he's afraid of being sued or something, but to my knowledge, I don't know of any cases where this is true. I don't even think they can be held liable if anything happens to their patients or "clients" as we are now called. I mean, if we "flip-out", they can always say it was bound to happen, and wash their hands of it. Regardless, I just want the Truth. I just want to be well.

Currently, I am seeing another type of doctor in conjunction with taking this medication. He's a doctor with a PhD. in traditional Chinese acupuncture and herbology, and has Master's degree in psychology. He says to keep taking my prescription medication and to keep seeing my psychiatrist, whom, by the way, approves of my being treated with acupuncture. I was a little shocked by that response by my psychiatrist.

This treatment that I'm undergoing, accupuncture, rather than introducing a foreign substance into my body(which is a guessing game anyway when it comes to regulating dosages), will enable my body, over time, to produce what it needs to be healthy. I have been receiving positive results in the one month of being treated. My depression is subsiding. I'm recalling my dreams now(I haven't remembered my dreams since being on these medications). I have an increasing sense of well being. AND my "friend" is starting to wake up now. Not fully, but at least I know something is happening.

I just feel that there's more to this "medication" game that we're not being told. I know how desperate we are to be Well, but right now, psychiatry is still in it's infancy, otherwise they wouldn't have been so many drug re-calls, and that ever so soft voice you hear on the t.v. sugar-coating all the devastating side-effects of the drugs.

I am in no way suggesting that anyone come off of their medications, but I have to do what works for me. I have to do what's right for me.

I'm really glad to have found this web-site, and relieved to know that I'm not the only one going through stuff like this.

Take Care.
Be Well.
And find YOUR Way.

P.S. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Hi. It's me, again. Just wanted to say before I forget. I just visited another site where one person reported not being able to rememb(e)r things. Easy stuff like spelling words that he knew that he knew. I'm experiencing similar symptoms. I have difficulty doing simple mathematical functions, and retention of p(h)one numbers now. I'm sure some other stuff is messing up in my (b)rain, but it's hard to kee(p) track of since, to paraphrase someone, What I comprehend is with the faculty of my mind. And if my brain's not all here, well...

Anyway, just thought I'd let you know. Also, if there are are any typos in m posts, I can (b)lame it on my keyoard. The keys stick.

* "()" inserte(d) (m)issing letters due to sticking keys. The spacebar sticks,too.

Hi. Okay, where do I start. Right now, I'm worried about how I am going to pay for my Lamictal. I have been on Lamictal 150 mg./twice a day for 3 years or so for epilepsy. I recently heard that it was also being used to treat Bi-polar disorder.

I got married this past April and went from my old insurance which I only paid a $15 co-pay to my husbands insurance which has a $3000.00 deductible per person! We have a HSA acct but between my dr. visits and Effexor XR, I've depleted that acct down to about $40. I went to the pharmacy yesterday to get my Lamictal filled and when he came back and told me that it's $252.00, I freaked! Had to tell him that I had to wait until Friday.

I'm so worried about withdrawal symptons. I have 2 pills left, which I'm going to take 1 per day instead of 2 but I'm not even sure I'll have the money come Friday because this was not in our budget. My husband is going to change his insurance plan at the beginning of the year but I'm not sure how we'll manage until then.

I know, I tried to come off of my Effexor last month and.... OH NO!! It was absolute hell. My husband went to the pharmacy on a Sunday morning and was waiting at the door when they opened. I thought I was going crazy!

I'm on Effexor for anger outbursts that I was having when I found out that my ex-husband was having an affair 4 years ago. So, I thought that I could come off of it now that I'm no longer going thru that.

I'd like to know that since Lamictal is being used for Bi-polar disorder, I wonder if I could be on it alone, instead of Lamictal AND Effexor. Effexor has really helped me but coming off of it is worse than anything I've went thru. I didn't make it. I had to stay on it.

I guess I will be going thru Lamictal withdrawals for the next few days and I hope that I don't start seizing as I haven't had a seizure in several years.

Can anyone tell me what I'm in for (withdrawals)?

Thanks!

I have been on Lamictal since December 06 and received all of it free--per Pharma reps leaving samples. Ask your psych if they have samples.

Thanks Stephany! I hadn't even thought of that. Did he give you enough for the whole month? I'll check into that today. Thank a bunch!

I hate Lamictal...
I got the Rx 2 weeks ago, stareted the day I got it, even after almost having a stroke when the Pharmacist told me my script was going to cost $329.00. I took it for 13 days...on the 14th day my skin turned bright red and became hot to me and to the touch. I decided that this was too close to a rash for my taste or comfort. So I stopped taking Lamictal. The day after I stopped, I am exhausted, look gray, was throwing up, had a headache, backpain, bloody noses, disorientation..I told my husband that I felt like a drunk kindergartner. This has been going on for 4 days!! My Dr's only suggestion is "wait it out" you are having withdrawals. Withdrawals?! I olny took it for 13 days. Had I known about the possible nasty withdrawal symptoms....I would have never agreed to take this crap! I have enough problems with my brain lol I don't need to add to the fire.

im taking myself off lamictal at the moment. i was on 200mg a day for bipolar along with topamax and risperdal. for personal reasons that i strongly feel. i am reducing meds to come off as much as i can with out going nuts. i have come off the risperdal ok . am still on the topamax. but coming off the lamictal is proving tough. my skin has broken out completely. i have aches everywhere which feels like i have been beaten up. i feel completely dehydrated. my skin, lips and hair is so dry and my throat. im so thirsty. my body is thirsty if you can understand, its very uncomfortable. and its making me high nearly, manic feeling. in general i feel very strange physically and mentally. but you know what i never felt like it really did anything for me anyway. my doc always kept upping it and it never made me feel any different. ?

I was extremely happy to find this website, because it let me know different things that I didn’t know about Lamictal. I have been on Lamictal for about 2 years now. The doctor currently has me taking 400 mg a day and 300 mg a day of Seroquel (both at night). When I miss a dose of my Lamictal I feel like I am going through withdrawals. I get dizzy, a massive headache and nauseous. These symptoms go away shortly after I take it. Some of my friends are constantly telling me how bad it is for me, but it helps keep my moods semi stable. I still have “flare–ups” of both mania and depression, but they are not as bad as they were on other medications. I have been on just about all the psych drugs out there for my bi-polar, and both my Lamictal and Seroquel are working the best for me so far. I don’t plan on trying to stop taking my Lamictal or Seroquel anytime soon, but if I do decide to try to come off of either one, after reading these posts I will talk to my Dr first. As far as the financial cost I feel extremely lucky having the insurance that I do, because I only pay $20 for a 60 day supply. However I have been to previous psych doctors who have been able to give me samples for free when I couldn't afford my medication. Good luck to everyone who is on this medicine, and you all have made me feel like I’m not alone in taking it.
Nicki

I have been taking 25 mg daily for mood swings, depression and anxiety with hyperactivity. We went up to 50 mgs and although I felt less hyper and more calm, I felt more depression that I ever have before beginning this medication. We went down to 25 mg and I am doing better. We decided to try and taper off of it completely as the decision was made that it may not be doing much. The second day I was Lamictal-free I was very hyped up throughout the day and then extremely depressed in the evening. I started taking again immediately. I am terrified of this horrible feeling of depression and depersonalization I felt upon discontinuing this medication especially since the dose is so very small. I also take 25 mg Seroquel each evening. I take 150 mg of Zoloft each am. Does anyone out there feel that depression and anxiety/mood swings gets any worse with age?

Andrea, I'm not a doctor, but from my daughter's experience with 150mg. a day of Zoloft, that created wild mood swings and severe[suicidal]depression. I also take Lamictal, and could not tolerate Prozac. Just a thought, that it might be better to keep a mood stabilzer on board and reduce [slowly]the Zoloft.Just my opinion, not medical advice.

I am starting to get very frustrated with all of these medications. I am beginning to think that some of these make matters worse especially in a person like myself who has not had a clear diagnosis. I have been diagnosed with OCD and Panic Disorder. I was placed on Zoloft 50 mgs daily in my late teens. I did quite well. I struggled with depression occasionally and had some substance abuse issues, but nothing intolerable.

I did not have severe problems with depression until last year after the birth of my second child. Both the depression and the panic disorder got significantly more serious and intolerable. I was placed on 150 mgs of Zoloft and the panic issues resolved for the most part. But, I became more hyperactive, had racing thoughts, became more intense and irritable. But it was not disabling, just annoying and anxiety-producing. I went to a shrink.

When I was a kid I was diagnosed ADD and placed on Imiprimine which made a great difference in my grades. I thought maybe the hyper-activity and racing thoughts were just resugence of ADD and went on Strattera. I became VERY moody and out of control.

I think I may just go back to just Zoloft and deal with being wild and hyper. Hey, I sure got a lot done. My neighbors say I have the cleanest house on the block!

for those of you who are interested, i created a guide to lamictal since there seem to be lots of questions out there. you can find it by clicking on this link.

Philip, I am the woman who wrote the post at the beginning of this blog. I just logged on and came to the site to find more info because I feel like I'm going crazy. I've been taking 25mg for about three weeks now, I think...it's all a blur. I didn't take any Lamictal Saturday and felt okay, and then Sunday came and I was sick as a dog. I had "brain flashes" and nausea, my head felt like it weighed 200 pounds, my mind felt disconnected from the rest of my body, and I was oh so tired. I napped most of the afternoon, after popping a 25mg pill, and felt better by the evening. I took another pill yesterday, but didn't today, thinking I might be able to skip a dose until I'm finally off this wretched medication. HOWEVER, I am feeling incredibly irritable, sad, angry, worthless, depressed and suicidial. I was ready to walk out on my job today, which I'm not crazy about, but it's not THAT bad. Luckily, my husband also suffers from major depressive disorder and is a therapist so I can tell him what I feel and he actually gets it. I feel so guilty for feeling this way. He is busting his rear renovating our new home, and I don't have the energy or desire to do anything. After reading other posts, I am hopeful that this too shall pass in a short time. Right now, I'm in that bad place that I hate. Philip, thank you for this website and for this particular blog. Without it, I would probably not have the courage to get off this drug.

Sincerely,
Lynne

Hey, the new guide is GREAT. Keep it up. I hope you do more drugs. Maybe Cymbalta next? And put a link to this guide on your home page.

I agree the new guide is excellent, and i pick Seroquel next! Thanks for the hard work and information.

I am going off Prozac and Lamictal for Depression and mood swings. My side affects are disorientation-dizziness-and I'm unbalanced. I've almost been in two major car accidents. I was only on 100 mg/day and slowly went off them. It's been a few weeks and I think I'm going to go crazy. I just want this crap out of my system. Don't go on this stuff if your symptoms are mild-it isn't worth it. Excersise, eat nutritionally balanced food and see a therapist regularly before getting addicted to this crap. Does anyone know how much longer this might take? I pop 75 mg of Lamictal or so when it gets to be too much and the sympoms go away. That's been every 3 days. I'm off the Prozac-I think.

I have been on 200mg of Lamictal for a year now. I ran out a few days ago and have not refilled the scrip. I am having some serious back pain and headaches, also a general feeling of despair, I guess. I am not sure if any, or all, of these are symptoms of withdrawal from Lamictal or not. I made an appointment with the Dr. for later this week, I think I am going to ask him to get me off the Lamictal. (I am also taking 20mg/day of Lexapro, which I have not stopped, yet.)
I would love to be off all of it soon.
What are the most common side effects to withdrawing from Lamictal?

Due to a change in insurance, I am having to involuntalily take myself off of Lamictal and Effoxor XR at the same time. I am 3 days in to going cold turkey, and I feel worse than I did when I went into the psychiatric hospital. Can anyone tell me if the auditory sensations, dizziness, nausea adn vomiting, and pretty harsh paranoia are normal for my situation? Unfortunately, my dr. cannot seem to return calls and i am on the verge of calling 911. help!

Here's a link to the wikipedia entry about brain shivers that I stumbled across while coming off Cymbalta. It specifically mentions Effexor as one of the meds that can cause them.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain_shivers

In my case, these shivers manifested as dizziness, a feeling of receiving an electric shock, vertigo and a sort of buzzing "sound" which I know wasn't there. I was also more than a little agitated. I don't know if telling you what what you're experiencing is normal is worthwhile, but I also tapered off my meds and followed a plan of approximately 1 1/2 months that my doc and I planned out. You might want to see if you can afford to taper down off the med that you had the highest dosage of.

And regardless, CALL YOUR DOCTOR. They might be able to give you samples to help you taper down at no cost to you.

I agree, this has got to be a slow removal of both of those drugs. Lamictal has a warning to taper down slowly due to possible seizures. I experienced nausea,dizziness,brain shivers,vomiting,diahrea, severe confusion--coming off of Seroquel cold turkey. There is also something called withdrawal psychosis, that could be happening. In any case, call the doc and get some samples and 1/4 it down over weeks if not months to make it easier on yourself. Good luck.

Another useful withdrawal information site for those coming off of [any psych med in my opinion]is Taper Safely,Inc.

Wow I was just looking for a reference point to take with me to a doctors appointment today. I am going in for pain. Back ache head ache dizzy dizzy dizzy, my balance is off and I just cant follow through with anything that is if I even get out of bed. After reading this thread i realize it has been 5 days today since my last lamictal (300mg day). I wass going to bpick up my refill today but now I am really wondering if I should leave it there.

Diana, after 5 days of hell, you're probably through the worst of the withdrawal. I really hope you consider stopping now.

One of the nastiest withdrawal effects is what I used to call vision swim. I'd turn my head and my vision would lag for a few seconds. I was extremely dizzy and fell down frequently. It pretty much burned itself out in a week, though.

My advice (not that you asked!) is to brew a big mug of tea and go back to bed until you feel better. Hope you're feeling well soon.

I'll second what everyone is saying here: Lamictal has a very harsh withdrawal. I was taking 100mg for about a year for PTSD/Depression, and have since worked through those issues. As there was no reason for me to keep taking it, have been losing too much weight from its side effects, and worry about long term effects, I am (under my doc's advice) gradually tapering off.

The withdrawal effects have been irritability, loss of focus, lethargy, and headaches. They seem to be strongest from days 3 to 5. I'm on day 8, at 75mg, and I still have symptoms towards the end of the day, about 8 hours after I take it. I plan on

The worst part of this drug's withdrawal is that it seems to make me feel as if the effects were just me and not a drug withdrawal, just as others here have mentioned. I've successfully worked through Klonopin withdrawal and Lexapro; neither have had that particular effect.

So why does it do this?
First, I'm not a doctor, but nonetheless: I think this could have something to do with Lamictal's combined sigma-opioid receptor activity, calcium-channel blocking (which reduces how much neurons fire, hence Lamictal's use as an epilepsy med), and serotonin receptor activity. That means it may be like withdrawing from at least 3 separate meds at once. Don't forget that it has those odd melanin-binding and immune system ("The Rash" and Steven Johnson's Syndrome) effects. Strange stuff indeed.

From the drug pamphlet:
"Although the relevance for human use is unknown, the following data characterize the performance of LAMICTAL in receptor binding assays. Lamotrigine had a weak inhibitory effect on the serotonin 5-HT3 receptor... It had weak effects at sigma opioid receptors..."
(http://us.gsk.com/products/assets/us_lamictal.pdf) - Pg. 3

So my advice: Work with your doctor, take it slow, slower if you need too, and plan ahead for the effects. Do not stop abruptly, since it can cause seizures. Let friends and family know you may need some support and that you might get a bit irritable. Please be careful about driving, the irritability alone is reason enough to stay off the road for a few days.

I really hope GSK informs doctors and patients about this. Even with all this horror it is a wonder drug for many, but it absolutely needs a proper warning. Again, talk to your doctor, I'm a student and in no way an authority on this stuff.

CRAZYMEDS is now located at a new domain:

http://crazymeds.us/

I highly recommend this peer supported psychiatric medication website. There is a message board forum, links to the drug companies and clinical studies. Extensive information about: What are these types of drugs approved to treat? How will the pills make you feel? How do the medications work? How to correctly start and stop taking psychotropic medications (1st get your doctor's approval). also a good resource: http://bipolar.about.com/od/medications/Medications.htm

I have had wonderful success on Lamictal. I took 200mg for 2 years then late last year I told my doctor that I still felt edgy and agitated. I suggested that we lower the dose to 150mg and it worked. Attention people, increasing medications is not always the answer. I'd seriously consider trying a new drug if your doctor is going above the recommended dosage. I have been medicated for 23 years for Bipolar 1. I have finally found a cocktail that has kept me relatively stable for the past 2 years with no uncomfortable side effects: Lamictal, Lexapro, Trazodone and Ativan as needed.

started lamictal in may gradually up to 150 mg now also on bupropion sr 150 mg twice a day and fl;uoxetine 1/2half 20 mg Eevery other day. depression has returned and the meds never really succesful. my therapist (md) says stay on longer but i question the wisdom since i see no real improvement in six months. becoming more depressed with the failure of all these meds. what do you suggest?

I was on 200mg Lamictal for 8 months and I recently decided to stop taking it to see how I do without it. I have been taking it for depression and I've been very happy with the results it's given me. (I began it when I was with another doc, who I was later told wrongly diagnosed me with bipolar. His intention with this was to treat me for bipolar, but all I had was depression and anxiety. It worked so well, however, that I stayed on it.) The only side effects I really noticed were pretty bad difficulty concentrating and restlessness. Anyway, I'm stopping now because I've had fine periods without meds that can go for almost 2 years, so I think it's healthier for my body.


I had no problems starting up Lamictal, but that's probably because the starter pack went up sooo slowwwllllyy. I should have taken that as a warning that it would be just as hard to go off. I cut back to 150mg for 4 days, and that was going okay except for some pretty bad fatigue. So 2 days ago I cut down to 100mg. Bad idea. I am EXTREMELY tired. I'm also dizzy with a headache, the feeling of a full/heavy/congested head, trouble concentrating, feeling really "out of it." I guess my only choice is to taper off just as slowly as I can on, which is going to suck. This drug is horrible to come off! Why can't docs just warn their patients...it's not like we want to stay on these pills forever, you know.

I was also on 5mg Lexapro. I stopped that cold-turkey without any problem (most likely because it's such a low dose). Let me just say I HATED Lexapro...My doc started me on 10mg and immediately I had insomnia, worsened anxiety, and horrible heart palpitations (which is especially bad for me because I have a pre-existing heart condition). Once I was at 5mg those symptoms went away, but I started taking Klonopin for anxiety instead so I can't say if Lexapro did anything at all. So much for that.

I was also wondering if anyone had any muscle pains while on Lamictal. I don't know if this has anything to do with it (and I suppose there's no way to know), but shortly after upping to 200mg I developed a horrible muscle spasm in my neck that required me to take muscle relaxers. Then a few days ago I've got one in my leg. If this sounds familliar, please let me know!!!

wow I haven't kept up with this thread and I've missed a goldmine. I'm withdrawing from all my drugs one at a time. I did half my lamictal (200 mg) a few months ago and I'm planning on doing the rest (another 200 mg) starting as soon as I know whether I'm going out of town for christmas or not. If I am I'll wait until Jan.

In any case when I went off the first 200 mg at approx 25 mg every week or two it triggered severe chronic fatigue. I've now been dealing with this severe fatigue since May of this year. I don't know if it's withdrawals anymore or if it's just an underlying problem that the trauma of the withdrawal triggered.

Anyone else have long term fatigue associated with your withdrawal? I really want to go ahead and get off the next 200 mg. For now I'm assuming the fatigue is a complication of my whole withdrawal process that has been going on for 2 years as I was on 6 meds---it's just the really severe hit was in synch with the Lamictal taper---unraveling this may not be possible.

For resources and information on withdrawal visit my about page:

http://bipolarblast.wordpress.com/about/

Is there any recovery here? Maybe I missed it. If anyone has recovered and is off the lamictal and all psych meds.. can you please contact me? I really want to see some hope... cuz this is f*cking hard.
I am down to 50mg (25 AM & 25 PM) I'm good for a few hours after I take each dose... the rest of the time I experience an intense physical anxiety, morbidity and extreme agitation. And a metallic taste in my mouth and feeling in my chest... (not sure if that's related - does anyone else have this?)
I am intent on ridding myself of all psych meds and other substances. I don't want to be blocked and dumbed down any longer. Also... I would like to have children a few years from now. Lamictal es no bueno for unborn babies.
I have been on meds for 12 years. I have to have hope that my brain will repair this. Because this is painful and uncomfortable and sometimes I feel like I am going to crawl out of my skin.
I just have to believe I can do it. And I can heal the brain damage.
Does anyone out there relate to any of this?
Has anyone persevered over this?
Are there support groups?
There should be.
Would anyone be interested in being part of a support group for psych med withdrawal?
Any comments on this would be really help.

Hey 8%,
It's been awhile so I don't know if you'll see this, but my blog is all about psych withdrawal and you're asking for community.

I just came back here because I just started my second round of coming off Lamictal. I did the first 200 mg a few months ago.

I have 200 mg left. I cut down 25 mg three days ago. Holy shit---I'm in hell right now. I don't know if I'm relieved or not to see these entries again.

However, you ask about recovery after withdrawal and the author of this blog did it. He is fine and he made it through a withdrawal. People do recover. Also I know several people from my site who have gotten off Lamictal successfully and are fully recovered. I hold these people in my sight now, since I know the next couple of months are going to be shit.

Philip I posted this a few hours ago....I'm trying again since you have posted stuff in that time I'm wondering if it went missing...

I'm also in the process of attempting to post on this issue if I can muster the concentration through my Lamictal withdrawal haze.

Hey 8%,
It's been awhile so I don't know if you'll see this, but my blog is all about psych withdrawal and you're asking for community.

I just came back here because I just started my second round of coming off Lamictal. I did the first 200 mg a few months ago.

I have 200 mg left. I cut down 25 mg three days ago. Holy shit---I'm in hell right now. I don't know if I'm relieved or not to see these entries again.

However, you ask about recovery after withdrawal and the author of this blog did it. He is fine and he made it through a withdrawal. People do recover. Also I know several people from my site who have gotten off Lamictal successfully and are fully recovered. I hold these people in my sight now, since I know the next couple of months are going to be shit.

Lamictal is hard to come off of. It is difficult to discern between the returning symptoms of bipolar depression/mania, and the withdrawal symptoms. I have attempted to stop taking it for years but the withdrawals always send me back to the pharmacy. I was up to 300mg a day but I'm trying to go to college and was advised by my psych that the memory lapses I was experiencing were due to the lamictal, he called it cognitive blunting. He was amazed that I was holding a 3.75 GPA on 300mg! So, I dropped to 100mg and am now attempting to ween off it completely. I'm scared. Since taking it I have developed a wonderful relationship with a man I love and I fear sabotaging that.

Thank god I found some other information on what I am experiencing!

I am 16 and was taking 250 mg of lamictal a day. I no longer want to be on medication, but this is the only one of my meds they are considering eliminating. We dropped it to 200 mg last week, and since then I have been very moody, irritable, and anxious. Some paranoia has been in there, too. I have been having a sort of anxiety attack tonight, and it has been very uncomfortable.

I was on lamictal for two years straight (125mg). I decided it wasn't doing much for me so I started tapering off the drug a few months ago. All I have to say is that I've never felt so bad and zoned out like a zombie in my life!! Nasuea, dizziness, weight gain(yes coming off the drug) etc. I slowy tapered off and it's been one month now that I've not taken one pill of lamictal. Why am i still having such sever withdrawal symptoms?? I'm stoooo frustrated, I couldn't function with the drug, now I can't function off the drug!! Has anyone had such severy withdrawal even having not taken the medication for a month or so?

Can someone please give me the positives about getting off of Lamictal? I know its going to be hard, but someone has to be out there that has done it and can reassure the rest of us that we will be fine without it (if we are sure it isn't for us).

I have been up to 175mg Lamictal and hit some bizarre side effects -- severe brain fog, respiratory infection, even my teeth hurt! But I came dowm to 50 pretty fast and without trouble. This time I got to 175 without Trileptal but I just got this: "I don't care about anything" attitude -- like paying bills or answering the phone. So I'm back to 100mg but feel anemic and anorexic.

Did a lot of research and am taking a ton of vitamins, minerals, etc. These anticonvulsants devour B vitamins. Like the old Kris Kristofferson song: "was the going up worth the coming down?" Something like that. Sorry Kris, if I spelled your name wrong.

I have been on cymbalta 90mg and cymbalta 300mg for 4 yrs.
At first it worked liked gold, my deppression and anxiety gone.
The past year and a half it hasn,t ben working.
My doctor was unable to get my cymbalta to me through no fault of my own, they were very buisy, by time i got to doctor i very very sick, vommitting, diahreah,crying, very tempermental towards husband and very irratioal.
This is when i decided with doctoctors help to get off these meds.
I have been tapering off slowly for 2 weeks now and start effexor on monday thankgoodnes!!!!!.
I have been nauseaus, volitile,emotioanal, very big deppressive waves and crying.
I want to be be on effexor for one yesr while i get my self help skills down pact and work on my workbooks
Iv,e come to the conclusion the meds are causing more harm than good.
The withdrawal is terrible which no doctor will tell you about, i am hoping i dont have brain damage as result of these meds.
Cant actually find medical evidence on line to support this.
Im also giving up 3 beer a night habbit and smoing at th same time but i want to be well and it has to come from me.
Any knowledge on this welcome.
Thankyou So much!

i am happy I found this site. i take lamictal for bipolar disorder. i'm stopping my lamictal i was on 300 mg a day for the last six months,i'm down to 75 mgs now and feel like hell. i walked out of my job today and thought that i was going nuts. i feel foggy, i have terrible headaches and thirst and am lethargic. this drug isn't worth it. i've stopped taking paxil in the past and thought that was as bad as it gets but this is worse by far.

I have recently come off lamictal. I was taking 150mgs and took my last 25mg dose last Sunday (1 week ago). I didn't like it, I didn't think it was working for me. It was prescribed mainly for anxiety. Anyway - I am feeling tired, irritable and pretty anxious and this is on top of the lorazapem I am taking. Is this still part of withdrawal??

I've been on Lamictal for two years for epileptic seizures. I started on 200 mg and then went up to 300 mg. I am now coming off it since it hasn't worked. My experience with withdrawal is that it almost always makes sense to go much slower than the docs recommend. I am going down 25 mg every 10-14 days and one week in, my feelings are all over the map, my head is full of all kinds of images and jumbled fragments of ideas and I forget what I'm thinking in the middle of the thought. Some of these are typical head injury symptoms, which I've had for some years, but very suddenly worse since I started withdrawal. I've had seizures from following medical instructions on withdrawal, (Xanax, Keppra, Atavan, Klonipin) and intense physical and emotional symptoms with Remeron, Prozac and Depakote. Withdrawal is always rough but it helps to take charge and decide what level of rough you can handle and adjust the speed accordingly.

Can anyone tell me how long the nausea lasts
Hope at the end of the tunnel

when comming off Lamictal?

Ive been on it for 2 yrs for Bipolar. Befor i compain about it i have to stres how effective it has been for me in stabilising my mood and how i dont think id still be here without it.
I started slowly tappering off in December 2007 from 50mg to 25mg once a day. Then in January i started taking 25 mg once a dayfor 3 weeks and then in Jan 2008 i dropped to 25mg every other day. I stopped taking it completely a month ago and have felt terrible nausea where i feel like its all being held in my throat. Terrible dizziness 3 weeks ago and migrane. also been feeling really out of it and not able to concentrate in class-(i stupidly did a 5 week intensive tefel course as i thought keeping busy would keep my mind off the withdrawl effects) other side effects more mood swings but not the depressive 'i cant live life' feeling.Just been feeling sad and crying a lot. Because i havent been feeling suicidal im keen to stick with this and get off the meds. Actually my main worry has been that i have been getting this bad lip peeling on my lips. The skin is so sore and flakey and it leaves my lips blisterd and raw pink with little skin on them. im really worried about it coz i know people can get a rash and that is potentially fatal. Ever since tappering down and stopping my meds my lips have got better. But the headache, anxiety, slight panicky feeling, hear racing and nasea proved to be too much for me yesterday so i took a full 50mg and today a 25mg and feel much better today. Do you think i shouldpeserveer and stick with this nausea in an attempt to gett off or do you think that it means I need to go down even more slowly? im really very confused and feel a little bit lost and lonely. in the UK lamictal isnt legally prescribed for mood disorders so i alsways end up wasting my time and have to watch the docs as they flip through their drug guide books as they try to advise me of how much to take and what to expect. ps when i drink alcohol its disasterous as the next day i feel hungover 1000x worse& that is with just 1 glass of wine. That never used to happen, even when i was on lamictal. does anyone else have it as a side effect?

It's me again...the woman who wanted to come off Lamictal in order to have a baby. After (finally) getting off Lamictal, I went to a new therapist because the Zoloft just wasn't cutting it for my depression. She sent me to a well-respected psychiatrist who put me on Prozac. Well, guess what! It threw me into what they call a "hypo-manic episode" and declared me to be bi-polar. Fabulous, eh? All this time I was being treated for major depressive disorder. So, said psych cut the Prozac in half and put me on Seroquel and Klonopin. Not working so great. Can't sleep. Puts me on Geodon, LAMICTAL, and gives me Ambien. Guess what. Not working so great. Can't sleep. Anxiety attacks. So I down the bottle of Ambien and as much Seroquel I can lay my hands on before my husband holds me down while he dials 911. After spending a week at the "Medical College of __" being poked, prodded, tested, interviewed, harrassed, and taken off all meds except ONE Klonopin a day, I'm discharged on a Friday with a NON diagnosis (Mood Disorder NOS) and told to see my shrink and therapist the following Monday. As soon as I get home, I freak out and start cleaning the house. I sprayed my husband with bleach because he wouldn't get out of my way. He called my shrink who told him to give me Klonopin 3x day and to start back on LAMICTAL ASAP. I had to resign from my job and now have more sleepless nights than ever. The power surges, or panic attacks, are still ongoing, but hey, at least I don't have to go to work in the morning. My husband took away my credit cards and ATM cards, which is probably a good thing since my hobby had beocme shopping. No job = no money. I'm back on Geodon at 180mg a day and up to 150 on Lamictal and popping Klonopin like candy. I wake up groggy just from the Geodon and can barely walk in the mornings. But hey, the house is clean! By the way, no chance in hell of having a baby now. Thank you so much DRUG LORDS FROM HELL!!!! Phillip, any wise suggestions???

I had a bad couple of days. Ran out of Lamictal for the first time. I take 400mg daily. When I went to fill them they said I was denied. i couldn' afford out of pocket, so I couldn't get it. The main problem was feeling like I was in the prodrome of a seizure. I had a dull headache, racing thoughts, weird dreams, mental lapses, confusion about where I was, basically feeling out of it. Today i called the insurance, and they said I was fine. Apparently the pharmacy was
using the old insurance. I felt more and more out of it and disorganized with racing thoughts over the 2 days. I don't really trust anything I was thinking during that time. I was able to pick it up this morning. Though I feel only a little better so far, I feel quite relieved.

Hello. I've been on 300 mg of Lamictal for a little over a year and I've been trying to go down to 225 mg because of water retention and slow weight gain that has been creeping up, despite going to the gym more than 4 x a week and watching my caloric intake. I'm also on Effexor 300 mg, which I've been on for three years, so I don't know which is the culprit. I've been feeling very upset and also depressed, then agitated and it's a bit frightening. Is it normal to feel this way when coming down and how long does it take for each dose to balance out? Your thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.

I was on lamictal for the duration of my pregnancy with my second son. 300 mg. It was my only med (I'm bipolar). There were no complications at all, he is a completely healthy, normal 2 1/2 year old, talks at a 4 year old's level, knows every color under the sun, has a huge library of songs he has memorized, etc. Just a thought, although I know well enough to know I'll get railed for this comment. Lamictal is actually considered safe for pregnancy. My son is proof of that.

I have been on lamictal for 7 months and have been taking 200mg a day.I just recently noticed my teeth turning grey and discolored, nothing you can bleech out. otherwise i loved the medication. I have heard horror stories about hair loss, so i decides to ween off over a three week period and got down to 50 mg, and that night i went into a siezure like experience, my nerves were freaking out and my arms and legs felt like they were going through shock therapy, it was terrible. So now im not sure what the heck to do. tonight i will take 150mg. until i get to my doctor to confirm if teeth stains can be caused by lamicatl. I might retry many of the other dozen or so antidepressants i already tried. my discolored teeth is not worth it. I might need veners to cover the damage. Has anyone noticed this or red ruff skin on there face. please comment. thank you

Awesome Blog!




Let me start by saying that yesterday I quit taking my 200mg of Lamictal --- cold turkey. This is my second day. So far so good. I have been drinking a lot of water, maybe that is helping. Or maybe tomorrow I will be crawled up in the fetal position wondering what I have done to myself. LOL!




Two years ago because of many stressful life situations I was "asked" to go to a doctor as my mood swings were out of control. This decision was based on the fact that my mother was bi-polar. She went through it all as I was growing up. Electro shock, lithium, going on her medicine, going off her medicine. etc, etc. Very challenging at times.




So because of her past and my need to salvage a 23 year marriage for my kids sake, I agreed to go to the doctor. It was my General practitioner. I explained the situation. She said try Lexapro until things became more stable in my life and then we should be able to come off of the medicine.




I find it interesting that when we find ourselves in very stressful situations in life and our moods tend to swing because of - financial ruin, a failed marriage, job stress, etc., etc. that the common answer in this generation is that we need to be on something.




It is viewed in today's society as "not normal" to express anger and -- unfortunately -- rage to cope with the most extreme difficulties one might encounter. No matter what the severity of the crisis may be.




I will agree that because of my mothers past, I have some of her bi-polar traits in me. I react very similar to situations as she did. Although, for people to say that "it is hereditary" or "it's family genetics" and that you need to be on something is totally false. If there is no test or proper diagnosis for bi-polarism -- then why do we need to solve the issue immediately with drugs????? The counceling sessions become secondary.




I told the General practitioner that put me on Lexapro that I was embarressed to take the medicine as I never wanted to be like my mother. She laughed and said that they should put these drugs in our water supply. She said I would be surprised how many people are taking something for their nerves and some very prominent in the community.




I believe that through my years that I have had a certain level of anxiety and at times didn't deal with stress well, and I wished that I did have something to calm my nerves (in college alcohol seemed to do the trick).




But if solving my issues means taking drugs that make me tired, suck the life and creativity out of me, kill my sex drive, shortness of breathe, IBS bleeding, etc., etc., etc.,




It is even worth taking the medicine?




I now go to a psych. He put me on the 200mg of Lamictal saying it would change everything the Lexipro was causing. Let's see after a year --- I seem to have the same symptoms - shall I quote myself -




"But if solving my issues means taking drugs that make me tired, suck the life and creativity out of me, kill my sex drive, shortness of breathe, IBS bleeding, etc., etc., etc.,"




When I go see him it is a 5 minute appointment. "How are things going" - I say "Great". He tells me that it is the medicine helping me with my mood swings. And that I should never quit taking it. I asked him if the fact that my life has done a complete 360 degree turnaround to the positive -- financially and marital wise -- where does that come into play? He doesn't really know how to answer that but again to say, it is the medicine.... LOL




Doe's a positive change in one's life account for any positive change in personal behavior? Or is it always going to be the medicine, that creates the change?????




I believe that the medical community has found a way to thrive on the "walk up traffic." They are more sales people / order takers trying to make an easy "commission."




It reminds you of Lucy and Charlie Brown - "The doctor is in." They know that people like us are easy targets, easy income, customers for life....

I have come to the conclusion that I will not live in a world that I cannot feel. One that will not allow me to express my basic human emotions in any given situation.




I cherish my life everyday, and the wonderful gift that God has given us... LIFE.




I look at the circumstances of others in this world.... starvation, aids, famine, drought, cancer, homelessness. We all know the list is endless.




Who am I to feel that I have problems? Mine are insignificant to what is happening to others in this world.




Anyway, with all that said... I am choosing to stop the medication. The first 44 years of my life without it, I did extremely well. Because of severe changes in my life circumstances two years ago, (and everyone on the planet that was taking something, was telling me I needed to be on something), I decided to take this magic carpet ride.




But again, I will no longer relegate myself to this "MEDICINAL PRISON"....




I pray that the Lord will grant me my freedom. And provide me the guidance I will need for a medicine free life. I can no longer put my hope in pills, 5 minute doctor visits, and others that have worse (mental) problems than mine, telling me how to live my life.




God Bless you all, thank you for listening!

I would like to hear from anyone who has successfully stopped taking Lamictal. When did you start feeling better? Did your cognitive impairment lessen at all? Did your complexion clear up? Did you sleep better? Did you rediscover your libido?

I stopped taking it for a week and ended up going back on it because it was a fresh hell I could not bear.

I would like to hear the positive side of Lamictal withdrawal and I appreciate any and all input.

Hi Vetta,

Everyone's experiences with these medications are different, and it's impossible to say with certainty, "I feel X because of medication Y."

Virtually everyone who posts comments here has had serious problems with many medications, but that may be a selection effect as much as anything. If they weren't having problems they would be less likely to come across or repeatedly visit Furious Seasons, so take people's opinions here with a grain of salt.

For myself, I've been taking Lamictal (lamotrigine) now for over two years. I stopped once cold turkey after running out and having to wait for the next paycheck. Like many people report on there were virtually no side effects, either starting the medication or stopping abruptly. And it seems to actually help in evening out my mood. How fast did you drop the dose when you stopped taking it? Slow titration down with these medications seems the key to successfully stopping them. Best of luck.

cairn, you are wrong at least in reference to myself. i've actually said nice things about lamictal--to the degree it actually worked as an anti-dep for me--but the withdrawal was nasty. you're lucky.

and don't disparage the readers of this site or minimize them or their experiences.

you speak for the few, not the many.

Vetta,

I took 400mg lamictal for 2 years then went cold turkey. If I knew then what I know now I would have titrated slowly. Next three months were hellish for my family, but I am so glad to now be free of it. There are may good resources for coming off psychiatric drugs. The protocols typically involve metering your doses and supplementing your diet with vitamins and eliminating trigger foods.

It took quite some time to get my sleep back to a normal state. I can directly credit melatonin for my recovery. I've had circadian issues as long as I can remember, but the psychiatrists somehow automatically assume mania for insomnia. I don't take it every day, but I did for a few months and my sleep has never been better.

I suggest you work up a withdrawal plan first and discuss this with whoever is treating you. It's better if they are receptive and amenable, but if not then you still have to make a decision. Be prepare for difficulties and don't try to rush - it's not a race.

Warning - you can't split extended release formulation pills. If you are taking anything of this sort you'll want to switch off before titrating down. Also, lamictal comes in different dosage/pills so that can help. but you'll need help from your prescriber as you switch to lower dosages.

Best of luck and stay positive!

I wanted to give everyone an update.

This is day #5 of not taking my 200mg of Lamictal. I would not recommend this to anyone. You need to be quite strong mentally to struggle with the changes that occur primarily in your brain and head. WOW, is an understatement of how I am feeling, not good at all. Although, as I am this far along, I am going to stay the course.

A real struggle emotionally, it is taking a major conscience effort on my part to control my emotions and get through this. It is working because there have not been any noticeable changes in my behavior. Trust me my wife would flip if she knew I quit taking the "MAGIC LAMICTAL."

Internally though, it takes everything I have to get through. The dizzyness is the main thing, and I try not to make quick movements.

The first two days were very rough. Dizzy, nauseous, my mind raced, could not sleep at all. The past 3 days have been primarily dizzy, although things are better. I am extremely thirsty and drinking a lot of water.

The only thing truly helping is my desire to rid myself of this stuff. It upsets me greatly to know that I have been pulled this far in.

One thing I didn't share in my first post is that my new doctor initially told me that I would be on this a year, and then he would wean me off the Lamictal as things got better emotionally at home. Several visits in, he changed his tune (even though he agreed things seemed to be better at home and in my life). He determined it was that Lamictal and that I would always need to take it.

Trust me, I am not going through this little experiment out of spite to prove a point to my doctor. Let me assure you, that working as an IT professional, the last thing I need is to jeopardize my career by not performing on the job. [Plus the Lamictal only allows for non-performance in the bedroom....LOL.] [Hopefully, there will be a part of this story when that starts working again...LOL.]

I am stopping the medicine because I believe my issues started based on severe emotional changes in my life circumstances. I agreed with two doctors that I needed some help i.e. taking medicine.. [first the Lexipro, now the Lamictal], to help me get through the rough times.

Now that many positive changes have occured in my life, I don't see why a doctor would insist that I need the Lamictal forever???

Thus this little experiment...very harsh experiment I might add.

My determination will win out, it is unfortunate that my mind is taking such a beating during this withdrawal.

One upside I would like to share is that on day #2, my IBS literally went away. That was driving me crazy as I was losing a lot of blood. I then attributed the loss of blood (not the Lamictal)as the cause of my severe shortness of breathe, lack of strength, and lack of energy. Since not taking the Lamictal, I have been working out in the heat putting a brick patio on, cutting the grass in this 90 degree weather, etc., etc. So it definitely was the Lamicatal with it's negative side effects working on my body and causing the problems.

Hopefully, this is good info!

Bill,

Some things to consider:

1. Make sure you take vitamins everyday (I split mine twice a day): a multi, B complex, Omega 3, and C at a minimum. There are many good resources on the net for this.

2. Sleep issues: 50mg benadryl and or 3-5 mg melatonin.

3. Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and anything that you know activates you. I tried to eat simple foods as often as possible.

4. Get outside and exercise - do this do this do this.

5. Try to get some social interaction outside your home - go to library, coffee shop (ok, a coffe once in a while is ok, just not at night), aquarium, etc...

6. Stay positive. This won't be easy and you might have some setbacks. That's ok.

7. Make a simple weekly schedule for yourself. Too many activities/chores and it becomes a stressor, to few and it won't be as effective as it could.

The physical symptoms you speak of sound familiar. Take it slow and easy and give your brain and body time to adjust.

Warm regards,
Paul

Paul,
Thanks for the comments, I appreciate the support. I will try all your recommendations. I am especially interested in trying the Benedryl and Melatonin. Very strange feeling coming down off of the Lamictal and how it won't let you sleep. It's like your mind is locked up and won't respond to your bodies request to close your eyes and go to sleep. It seems goes in intervals, I am only getting little bits of rest, but not really sleep.
Amazing that Lamictal can alter the brain patterns so dramatically. More amazing is that the medical community knows this, but yet still prescribes all these drugs with their known side effects. That would be part of their customer for life program.
I'll give you an update and let you know how it works.

Melatonin was a Godsend for me. I have had circadian rhythm issues since youth and it gave me natural sleep for the first time ever. It's not sedating like Benadryl, but I wouldn't take it during the day either. Benadryl is an anti-histamine which can really help you get to sleep as you titrate down. So-called mood stabilizers (aka neuroleptics) also have a very strong affinity for histamine which is why they are so sedating.

These two aren't substitutes for each other, more complementary. You may find one is better for you than the other at different times. YMMV...

I know this is kinda of late, but this is one of the main sources of information I've had when I've been dealing with this withdrawal. It helped so much so I thought I'd add to my experience.

Last November I was having a tough time with life situations. In 40 min the doc told me I was bipolar. Which I realize 6 months later I never was bipolar.

In February, I had a major anxiety issue. not exactly an attack but I had to take a whole day off from it. As the dosage got higher the more anxious I was. I couldn't enjoy myself. I realized that I had NEVER felt this way and that its from the Lamictal. As I told my doc this he wanted to up the dosage and give me something else. I realized that I was with the wrong doc. I started to wean myself off.

Apparently I did it wrong. I went from 100mg to 50mg to 25mg. I am still on 25mg and I am slowly coming off of that. But 2 weeks after I went down to 25mg I had been crying, panic attacks, fear of death, fear of everything. Thank God I have the best support system in the world. I went to a therapist who confirmed that I do NOT have bipolar disorder and that a lot of this anxiety is coming from lamictal. Of course while I am at these sessions I'm working on a few things but nothing that would cause this havoc.

It was terrible and I was searching for anyone to tell me that they came off of it okay. I had a week of anxiety and a few days of major depression.

I prayed alot, but when I finally had the energy to try and run I felt like a different human being. So I suggest that when you are able to start feeling well again to exercise. I felt brand new. I still wake up with a little anxiety in the morning but I know I'm getting so much better. Plus I have a little more to get off of.

But as of now... I feel so fantastic and I want people to know that there IS hope and you can get through it.

lamictal has made me severely depressed would rather be dead than to wake up crying everyday in front of my children and feeling hopeless and isolated, oh and my crappy dr. said i have bipolar after one time of meeting this person how rediculous is that? I read that these drs are so quick to blame everything on bipolar instead of doing real work to find out what is wrong with you

4 years ago I switched from Topomax to Lamictal. Clinician suggested that it might be a better option to help congitive function. (That was my only probem with a slight back injury discomfort and arthritis in my feet).

After switching to Lamictal, I right away developed a dyskinsia, uncontrollable tongue thrusting into my teeth, such that at the end of the day, my tongue would bleed. Dentist filed one tooth down flat. If I wasn't doing that, I was clenching my teeth so hard my face hurt. I also developed a habit of sticking my fingernails between my teeth. The arthritis in my feet seemed to get worse and I had them operated on. My back pain, from a previous injury became excrutiating, for which I went to cortizone shots, and pain meds. and also had othopedic body manipulations. I was told that I may soon need a back operation. By now I was walking with a cane and trying not to use a wheelchair. The last manipulation took my breath away and was very painful, such that I quit going and tolerated the pain with more and more pain meds. The fatigue that set in along with the new muscle pain was diagnosed as fibromyalgia. I developed a non-serious rash/acne after having been prescribed lyrica and sulindac (allergy/no one listened to me) which has yet to go away since I refused to take it. The many ulcers in my mouth were so painful, I could hardly brush my teeth, or talk. I developed a yeast infection in my mouth that just would not go away with med. and a UTI that was so bad I had blood in urine. I went for a mouth biopsy which left a portion of my lower lip completely numb. I developed an insomnia for which I was prescribed Trazadone, along with the benedryl I was already taking. I was prescribed famotadine for hearburn, Not one day in three years has suicide not crossed my mind. I am more irritable and cross and impatient with my family. Neck, shoulder and elbow pain sometimes prevented driving, not to mention that I could no longer walk in the mall or on store floors for back, hip, knee and foot pains. 2007/2008 winter was the worst in all my life. Infections, colds, flus and all the aforementioned kept me going to the doctor once or twice a week. I eventually was so sick of doctors I refused to go. In three years I have gaind 50 lbs. I have three times suggested the these symptoms were side effects from the lamictal. But since there was no information listed in the Pharmaceudical info, there was no reason to blame Lamictal. In desperation I again researched on the internet for Lamictal Info. Of course any site that advertises meds. touts the wonders of Lamictal, including Lamictal.com. What helped me most, were all the blogs and forums of Lamictal consumers. My suspicions were validated and I started to wean myself off ever so slowly. Nonetheless, I lost 6 to 7 lbs in the frst week of cutting back to 275 from 300 mgs. Then cutting back to back to 250 megs. Started feeling fewer body pains, mouth ulcers started to fade away. Getting better and better with each cut back, I am now taking 150 mgs per day. I am walking my dog at least 1 or more miles a day with no cane. I can cover 1 mile in 20 minutes. No body pains until about middle of the day for which I take over the counter acetaminophen. (I take the Tramadol, only if necessary, and no more unprescribed percoset.) Took up crossword puzzles and soduko as brain function improved. No more hot flashes (that I thought were menopause). My life has improved at least 75% and I suffer very little muscle pain still and no other diffculties. I am elated, not manic, elated. Thank you all for taking your time to participate in the forums and blogging. You all have helped me more than any doc. and more than I can say. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. Can't wait to get off all Lamictal. I know this is a long post but I just wanted to share my lamictal experince. It's been a very long three years.

Lamictal causing all my new/recent symptoms....now looking out for any withdrawals.

I have only recently realized that taking Lamictal has been the cause of multiple symptoms. I was happy just to figure out what the problem was, and again found hope for better days. I had reduced my dose to 100 mg, from the regular 200 mg dosage, for about a week. I have not taken any Lamictal for 3 days now. I now find myself wondering if I will experience withdrawal side effects? How long will it take until I feel any improvement? And is there any risk that permanent damage or changes have happened to my body systems or organs? This is scary stuff, and I am outraged!!!
First of all, I experienced a rapid onset of new and worsening sympoms over 1 year ago. Then, recently, another onset/worsening of the same symptoms. All of the symptoms resemble hypothyroidism, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, and of course depression and anxiety. What finally made me settle on Lamictal being the culprit, was when the glands in my neck became swollen. I also have a very mild rash on the left side of my face (between my eye and my hairline), which has neither worsened or gone away for months. Any rash or any single blisters can indicate an allergic reaction to Lamictal, it does not have to be a severe or life-threatening rash!! After reading other testimonials online, people have had blisters or heat-like rashes anywhere from the top of there head to their feet. Looking back, I have had individual blisters occasionally, on my scalp, behind my ear, on my face, on my legs, etc. That, coupled with the swollen lymph nodes and glands, finally explained the cause of all the other symptoms I have had, at differing levels of severity, over the past 3 years!!!
Symptoms:
trouble with food or pills getting stuck
difficulty falling asleep
fatigue/low energy
brain fog, groggy, light-headed
desreased coordination
shortness of breathe/shallow respiratory pattern
tigt, rigid muscles or tension(which ultimately led to anxiety and panic attacks)
hypersensitivity to noise and crowds
morning stiffness
impaired memory/concentration
dry skin, lips, eyes, mouth
body aches
restlessness, tossing/turning
swelling,numbness,tingling hands and arms (and later legs and feet as well)

The first onset of these symptoms led to my first and only panic attack. I was told that anxiety had caused all of the physical symptoms, even my throat feeling loke it was closing up!!! So, I was given anti-anxiety meds....and suffered with it all for more than another year before the most recent onset with worsening of symptoms. I am glad to stop taking Lamictal....yet I am afraid of withdrawals and any possible permanent damage...and am not quite ready to deal with finding a new medication for my depression/bi polar, etc. Frustrated, mad....and FOGGY!!!

I have always had mild depression but never required medication. I controlled it through excersize and keeping busy. A year ago I was going through a terrible time in my life. I found out I had cervical cancer, my husband was in a near fatal atv accident and we were in a horrendous custody battle for my step daughter. My depression got much worse. So my primary physician tried a few different anti depressants, none worked. He then decided that I was bi-polar. He put me on lithium. I got a terrible rash, started halucinating and got a terrible head ache. I went to the emergency room they told me the lining of my brain was inflamed. I decided maybe a psychiatrist was a better option. He put me straight on lamictal. I have to be honest it was a god send for me. or so I thought. I started it in november and never got a period in december or january. I never thought that the lamictal could be causing it. I have not had a regular period since. I have to take medication to start my period and stop it. I recently started seeing a new gynocologist and he diagnosed me with pcos. It turns out the hormone imbalances caused by polycystic ovary syndrom can cause depression and many of the mood changes that bipolar disorder does. I trusted a more than qualified psychiatrist that he knew what he was talking about. In the end you need to trust yourself. Talk with your family, and those closest to you. research every thing they tell you. Don't just believe. My family never believed that I was bipolar. In all honesty I don't think I am either. So now I am going off of the lamictal. I started at 200mg and I have been slowly reducing my dose. I am doing this on my own. my psychiatrist refused to participate, because he felt I should not go off. So I did my research and found out how to do it on my own. Had I not done that I could have become very ill by just stopping taking it. These drug companies need to establish a web site on how to safely withdraw from these medications. I am doing good so far I am down to 100mg and have only had headaches and some crying spells. I suppose in the big picture I am lucky. Good luck to everyone on your journey with this medication. It really did help my depression but in the end I had to consider my over all health. I am going to go at it drug free for now and see how I do. I have faith in myself that I can get through it. sometimes medication isn't allways the answer

(sorry for the interruption, pressed the wrong button)
Anyway, as I was saying...
I was hospitalized 11 or 12 times (lost count), twice for three-month stretches. I wasn't an eager consumer of medications. I shudder to think what would have happened to me had I been more "co-operative". I nearly died from medical malpractice and Klonpin about 9 years ago, got off all meds and swore never to have contact with a psychiatrist again.

A little over a year ago I was finally diagnosed correctly--by my local physician's assistant. I have hypothyroidism. Ten dollars a month of levothyroxin has enabled me to leave my home and get a part-time job. I still struggle with intermittent major depression, still have to manage my PTSD symptoms (mainly depression and intermittent agoraphobia and reduced energy and stress tolerance). The dysthimia that was killing me was caused by the low thyroid. Waking up dysthymic each and every morning made me suicidal, frankly. What was there to live for?

A close friend of mine has had PCO since early adolescence. It was undiagnosed for years and years, caused her much suffering with severe depression. Treatment has helped.

Best wishes to you.
Sherry

Stephany, I was interested in your first comment. My current concern is related to being off Lamictal suddenly. I ran into a problem with my RX assistance program and then my pdoc has been difficult in working with me for a solution. It seems I might run out in a few days without a way to obtain the drug.

I have found that while taking this, while doing wonders for me, I experience strong and disruptive side effects if I am a half hour past my daily dose time.

In truth I am quite scared what the abrupt discontinuation will do. I could bet money that I wont be able to function at work.

I think what I'm asking of you is a response in which you can expand for me your experience of stopping cold turkey.

thank you!

P

Hi....I have had four hospital stays this year, lost my job, filing for bankruptcy and cannot afford medications paying through a regular insurance plan. I got a job that pays me 8.75 an hour even with this I could not afford to pay for the lamictal, lithium, klonopin and gabapentin that is prescribed to me for my Bipolar 1. I found a walk in clinic two days after running of my lamictal and just before my other prescriptions would run out. It has a pharmacy right there and I got charged only 12.00 for all of them. It was pretty scary....I felt different
without the lamictal luckily I don't think I got the full effects of not having any

I am wondering if I should go on Lamictal or not... I am 23 and was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 in July of this year. I had been hospitalized and then tried Intensive Outpatient Therapy for weeks until the insurance messed up my outpatient therapy visit allowance. I have now been seeing a psychiatrist who allowed me to come off of all the medications that I had been tried on from July to September/October....there were ten -such as Ativan, Depakote, Lithium -HORRIBLE FOR ME BY THE WAY, Klonipine, Propananal (for the horrible tremor side effects from the Lithium), AmbienCR and then Lunesta, Zyprexa, Abilify-which made me HORRIBLY suicidal..and also Lamictal ..The Lamictal was something I was only on for about 3-5 days ..I don't even remember the dosage.. because when I went on this it was to increase the 1800 mg of Lithium I had been placed on..Well, buddy, it worked. I was then overdosed and actual got Lithium Toxicidity... It was awful..and it took me days to get the people at the Intensive Outpatient Program I was a part of to believe it was real. I then decided to get off everything I could. I was taken down to just the Lithium ...then the new psychiatrists let me come off of everything under supervision. I did and I have to say that ALL of the psychiatrists and other Mental Health Professionals I saw that SWORE I would go back to a manic state if I came off of all the medications were WRONG. I have had NO signs of mania at ALL. I am not "depressed" now. I am just not really active at all. I am still not believing that I am actually bipolar but in effort to keep my short term disability in tact I am thinking I may try a medication to help me get some energy and desire to do something. The medication this psychiatrist is recommending is Lamictal. I just got my "starter kit" today and am very fearful of taking it. What are your thoughts??....
THANKS!

Brittani:

Lamotrigine is only indicated for the maintenance phase of bipolar treatment, and appears to work better to prevent future depressive rather than future manic episodes. If you are going on it, then it must be titrated very slowly in order to avoid Stevens-Johnson syndrome (a potentially life-threatening rash).

Lithium actually has the best evidence in bipolar disorder. I am wondering why you were on 1800 mg of Lithium? That's a really high amount. What was your Lithium level at the time? For the maintenance phase, your level should have been 0.6 to 0.8.

Also, was your manic episode in the context of using any other medications, herbal remedies, OTC pills, street drugs, medical illness? Or did it come out of the blue?

Just wondering.

Hi dguller and anyone else who wants to respond to my comments :-). ..in answer to your question about the Lithium.. my level went over 1.5.. I was started out on a lower dosage but the Intensive Outpatient Program moved me up rapidly to that amount because I was very unresponsive to alot of the prescribed drugs..and my mania took quite a while for me to come out of... And..no my manic episode was not related to anything that you listed. It was totally out of the blue. The only thing that was different was my job was VERY, VERY stressful at the time.. I was working 10-12+ hour days but that was the only main difference.. It was very out of the blue and unexpected... I still am not sure about the Lamictal ..I haven't been able to convince myself that going back on prescriptions will help me.. And I definitely do not know if Lamictal is the right choice for me.... Thanks to anyone who is out there to help a new Bipolar (if that is actually what I have lol)!

Brittani,

From reading your two posts I gathered this information; you were prescribed 10 different drugs within a 4 month period, experienced horrific side effects including tremor, feeling suicidal and lithium toxicity (which could have killed you).

You got off all of the drugs and you have NO signs of mania at ALL and you are NOT depressed (contrary to what the doctors told you would happen) and you don’t believe you are bipolar.

Previously, you were hospitalized due to a manic episode. At that time in your life you were under tremendous stress and working 10-12+ hour days.

Your current problems are; you have no energy or desire to do anything.

If I have all of this correct, THE BENEFIT OF ANY MEDICATION DOESN’T OUT WEIGH THE RISK (to say the least!).

Please read some of the previous posts under Lamictal withdrawal from people who have experienced side effects of using Lamictal as well as coming off.

You’re only 23, if you want to have a baby someday; I’ve heard many people say the doctor told them Lamictal was safe, it is not. There are lawsuits; babies being born with cleft palates. And that is just ONE issue. Personally, I have severe memory loss (for one) and can’t remember raising my kids. They are only 18 & 16. I also have severe hair loss. Lamictal messed up my thyroid.

I would also urge you to have your thyroid function (TSH) checked. Hypothyroidism causes low energy and symptoms often diagnosed as depression.

P.S. dguller is a psychiatrist. Please take what he says with a grain of salt and see what others who have been there (as you have) have to say.

I’m not totally anti-psychiatrist; Dr. Peter Breggin has some excellent books that I’ve found extremely helpful.

I wish you the best. It sounds like you are going through a rough patch in life.

I take Lamictal and the best part about this ongoing comment thread, is the patient anecdotal stories; I appreciate those.

Brittoni:

Perhaps Lithium could be helpful for you if it was dosed properly. I wouldn't necessarily jump to Lamotrigine if a proper trial of Lithium wasn't completed.

Oh, and Becky is certainly correct that you should have a medical work-up to rule out any organic causes of your low energy and motivation.

Regardless, I would have a frank discussion with your physician about all your options and the risks and benefits of each. Just be sure to make a decision that is in keeping with your values as a person and that meet your needs. :)

Thanks for your comments. I have actually tried it and my psychiatrist has already taken me off of it. Sunday was my last day taking it. It gave me little headaches (that felt like they were about the size of my fist) that seemed to move from one place to another. The headache would be in one spot for like 2-5 minutes and then move and repeat the same pattern. It gave me some calf pain as well and some headaches in the sinus area. It didn't seem to help me at all and dguller in response to your comments about the Lithium. No, that drug did not work for me and the doses were lowered after I became toxic. I was on many different dosages of it and I know it is not for me. Thanks for that though. I am now (as of last night) on Geodon. I am not convinced any of these medications will do anything positive for me as the only positive (and I hardly even think it is positive now because I'm so lethargic and unmotivated) these prescription medications did for me was get me out of the manic episode I was apparently in. I HIGHLY miss the upbeat person that I was and am not convinced any of these medications will help me get that back. I am wondering if I was on so much stuff that I now have permanent brain damage....

I have been on Lamictal for 2 1/2 years. I have always had a tendency for depression. I was going through a "rough" patch and my doctor decided Lamictal would be a good solution to what he guessed was a "mild case of bi-polar".

Due to the desperity I was in I did not research the drug. At that time in my life it seemed like a quick solution....and it was ar the begining.

In retrospect, I still have the same tendencies now as i did then. I still have the inclination to stay in bed many a weekends. So I believe to a certain extent, it my choice wether I decide to wallow in my misery or get up and do something.

Regardless of the many diagnoses I have had, I know that there is a certain amount of self will (and gods help) I have the option to use here... I can hide behind the diagnosis and the meds or I can be proactive.

I'm tired of not being able to feel basic things...like tingles down my back when I smell a pretty flower or am inspired by something. I havent had the ability to trully experience the joy of life because of this drug enduced fog...and I believe that FOR ME it's worth it to come off.

If I already have deppresion spells on it and cant trully feel the good in the world...then I might as well have the same and get to enjoy the good more.

This thread had scared the crap out of me!

I have been on 200mg for the entire duration of treatment. The first 2 weeks I took 175mg each day, so I wouldn't shock my system. Today I began
the process of weaning 25mg off each week.

YES I'm scared...and foggy. But I refuse to look at the multitude of symptoms listed above and ask myslef every 5 minutes if they are happening to me, because I do believe I have the power to create them... We have a choice to dig deep into this withdrawal or get on with it. And I trully believe that I will come out of this with little adverse reactions...because I'm dedicated to healing my brain form these chemicals, healing myself from my self impossed problems, and because I have faith.

I hope that if someone reading this thread is not paralized buy the fear I experienced while reading it...and hears that there is hope...there is recovery...and it is very possible to live a healthy life without drugs, especially if you have a "mild" case such as mine.

Good luck and I hope you find the peace of mind you seek.

Jessica

I just ran across this blog researching another topic and felt the need to weigh in even though this thread is pretty hoary at this point.

Although never one to be characterized as "happy go lucky," up until about ten years ago I was fairly content with my life. My wife and I would often joke that I was bipolar except I never had even the - illusory - benefit of a manic phase. I simply cycled from angry to depressed with a major helping of anxiety thrown in for good measure. I finally admitted that I could no longer drag myself through the day in such a state and saw my GP who prescribed a SSRI, which greatly exacerbated my situation.

Always a heavy drinker, my alcohol intake progressively increased over the years until I started putting away the hard stuff like the lead in a 1940's film noir. This, of course, led to all types of problems culminating with the departure of my dear wife. "Rock bottom" as they say. The following day I embarked on my recovery addressing my addiction to alcohol and visiting my gp, who prescribed effexor and gave me a referral to a pdoc. The next week until I could get in to see the pdoc was the very worst of my life, and was only made worse by the presence of the effexor, which regularly gave me violent "brain zaps" and the most horrific nightmares I've ever experienced.

Within fifteen minutes of my walking into the pdoc's office, I was introduced to the concept of "baby bipolar," "bipolar lite," "bp ii," or bipolar spectrum disorder. The doc explained that in my case i rapidly cycled from depressed to enraged with no hypomanic component. Turns out that my wife and I were not so far off in our initial dx. The doc immediately took me off of the effexor and started me on 25 mg. lamictal, slowly titrating up to 200 mg. Sometime during this process, I noticed a great change in my most basic outlook and for the first time in at least ten years felt something akin to hope and maybe even approaching peace and contentment. In short, lamictal changed (saved) my life.

As I've subsequently explained to many friends / family members struggling with depression / mood disorders, the meds don't solve any problems on their own, they merely provide a foundation upon which deeper change may be effected. Having said that, I have no plans on giving up my daily dose. In regard to side effects, I absolutely do suffer from C.R.A.F.T. (can't remember a frickin' thing) Syndrome, experience considerable muscle ache, and have blurred vision.

In regard to memory issues, I am an attorney and as such rely upon my ability to quickly internalize, analyze and communicate complicated matters. In this respect, lamictal has somewhat hindered my performance. I often find that I have to force myself to focus where it used to come naturally. Perhaps most frustrating is my inability to recall a specific word. For example, in the sentence above it took me about half a minute to come up with the word "internalize." I obviously knew the meaning of the word and could tell what letter it began with, but just couldn't quite grasp it. Annoying? Yes. Deal-breaker? No.

Although I've always managed to stay in decent shape, I haven't been to a gym since it was called a gymnasium and dodgeball - not pilates - was the order of the day. Nonetheless, I often feel as if I did ten rounds in the ring the previous night. I forget where I read this, but someone posited that the muscle pain was a byproduct of lamictal's utility as an anti-seizure med and served to keep those so afflicted from collapsing in a heap on the floor. I tend to agree as I often find that all of my major muscle groups are tensed at any given time. Annoying? Yes. Deal-breaker? No.

As far as the blurred vision is concerned, I've been to the eye doctor several times and told that my eyesight is just fine, which it is if I make a concerted attempt to focus. Annoying? Yes. Deal-breaker? No. (Besides, it helped me justify the purchase of an enormous HDTV.)

To describe how precisely lamictal has helped me, I need to resort to an analogy from audio engineering (my passion - the lawyering just pays the bills). A compressor is an effect which analyzes an audio signal to identify the loudest and softest portions. Once identified the loudest portions are reduced in volume and the softest portions are increased in volume. The ultimate effect is an audio signal that stays within a defined and narrow boundary. A compression feature is offered on most televisions to help reduce the effect whereby tv commercials are twice as loud as the programmed content. In my case, the floor of my depression is raised to a manageable level, and the ceiling on my anger is lowered to a manageable level. I'm very much the same person only the range of my moods now have hard limits.

Another way I like to describe the positive effect that lamictal has had on me also has its root in electronics. A resistor is an electronic component that serves to slow down the flow of electrons in a circuit. I don't know the slightest thing about the underlying principles of psychopharmacology, but do believe the human brain to be in some ways analogous to an electronic circuit. In this sense, lamictal serves as a resistor, providing me with an extra millisecond to consider consequences prior to acting from emotion. Lamictal has - by slowing down some brain function - allowed me to consider consequences before I act. Whereas in the past I would let fly verbally at the slightest - perceived - slight, now I am able to consider the repercussions of such a reaction. I hate feeling angry and lamictal has allowed me to perform a split second cost / benefit analysis in reaction to various stressors. The result of this analysis is almost always to let the stressor slide. Patience in a pill.

I understand that there are no guarantees in regard to the efficacy of pmeds, and that for many (most?) the right med / combo is never discovered (if it even exists). For that I am truly sorry, because right out of the gate I happened upon a drug that has really improved my quality of life.

At the direction of my neurologist, I started taking lamictal to control my mood swings. For over three years I have been taking anticonvulsants to manage my epilepsy. I began vomiting, had diarrhea, I was very dizzy, even with 5 layers of clothing and a blanket I was freezing, and my seizures which had remained dormant for 3.5 years, resumed. I have been living a life of hell for the past few weeks and therefore decided to quit the medicine cold turkey. I read up on the internet about the medicine after noticing these symptoms and saw that frequently this medicine can lead to depression and suicide. I am already depressed and teetering on the edge. If I end up dead, whether through this medicine, the hell that I am going through as a result of it, or some other manner, believe me, my ghost will come back and haunt the doctor that mindlessly prescribed it without warning me of the potential side effects. If this doctor was not aware of what side effects the drug could cause or what ramifications might occur by taking it in combination with my anticonvulsants, then they should have referred me to someone that was qualified.

I am having a real hard time with doctors...I guess it must be their egos. I have been on a lot of medications over the years for depression and even though they made me feel really great my intestinal track reaped havoc not to mention agitation and a lot of aggression. So then I was started on bi-polar drugs...I guess the thing that surprises me about doctors is that I cannot (if my life depended on it) take any drug for depression or bipolar and I live in a city where the doctor knows best. It has been really frustrating for me. Right now I am literally on a crumb of Lumictal and can't walk up the stairs without my lungs hurting me and I am noticing how snippy I get on this drug and I have only been on this stuff for two days.

I was on 400 mg of Lamictal for about two years. It has taken me six agonizing months to taper off to 200 mg. The psychiatrist who prescribed this poison decided I was bi-polar upon my completely a 10-some-odd "check yes or no" test in his office. I have never experienced mania, or marked mood swings, but I trusted the quack's judgement, and here I am; hooked on a drug subsequent doctors have told me is inappropriate for my real issue...major depression. Those same helpful people just tried stacking more pills on top of the ones I was already taking, until I said, "Enough already!" Lamictal "gifted" me with a reduced ability to grasp instructions, has limited my vocabulary, impacted my spelling, caused me to become apathetic, sluggish, exhausted, sweaty, disengaged, hopeless, and the list goes on and on. The withdrawl is hellish. When I go down a tier, I feel like I have the worst flu ever coming on, and can barely function. The saddest part for me, though, is that my loss of cognition has left me in such a state that college, which I can finally afford, is too daunting to consider. After all, if Lamictal left me, at times, unable to recall my phone number of 10 plus years, how am I to retain any NEW information?

II was put on Lamictal for bipolar disorder. It is a hassle to get it through bridges to access. The cost of the prescription is ridiculous! Run around after run around just trying to get this med that I thought I needed drove me crazy. I ran out and have been off of lamictal for two months... recently I had cramping, then spotting and now Im bleeding heavily non stop. I definitely think its from the medication. I will let you know more after I see the doctor. I just want everyone to know how much better I feel NOT taking Lamictal. I believe I was misdiagnosed. I should have been treated for anxiety and depression. If you have any doubts about meds your taking. Talk to your doctor and to others taking the meds and figure out the best solution for you and your future health. tnx n god bless

Hi All.

I'm all most done with reading this long list of personal stories. There is a lot to take in. Part of me is sad about having to deal with the effects of coming off of Lamictal. The other part of me wants to stay on as it has helped me control my thoughts.

Now,my husband and I would like to have a child. I am VERY scared about the effects of taking this drug while pregnant. I absolutely plan to come off because we want a child. I'm also about to take a new job in a month or so and am scared that my moods will be noticeable or even unmanageable.

My doctor will be back in the office next month where I will come up with a program to come off the drug. I will then use this blog as a journal so that anyone else who has a similar situation to mine can read it and even benefit from it (I think).

I so wish I never got on it and was fully informed about the negative effects of Lamictal. If there is advice about how to best deal withdrawal symptoms, please post a message.

Best,
Dez
(Btw, while on this drug, I am dealing with forgetfulness, headaches, yellowing of the eye, difficulty spelling, weird blinking of the eye)

Dez,
Yellowing of the eye??? Are you sure your liver's okay?

Hi Sherry,
I believe the yellowing of the eye is part of the symptoms of using this drug. I had a physical a month ago and all of the typical tests came out okay. But I'll call my Dr. tomorrow to see if they checked for any problems with my liver. thanks sherry.

I have an update for everyone. I spoke with my doctor, and he directed me to go from 200 mg to 100 mg for two weeks. Then for another two weeks I will take 50 mg and stop after.

I started taking only 100 mg Monday. So far, I've felt tired, but that's my typical pattern. I also noticed that I haven't really felt hungry, which is NOT typical for me.

I just learned anti-depressants can also harm a fetus. So, I will be coming off of this in a few months. I don't want to come off of Lamictal and Cymbalta at the same time.

That's all I have for now.

I can't believe the amount of responses to lamictal withdrawal I found in this blog. Why does it surprise me?

I had a left temporal lobe bleed, (stroke of the unusual variety) 18 months ago. The bleed caused the stroke, through pressure on my brain, and in turn triggered a grand mal seizure. (Tonic clonic seizure think is their preferred name now.)

I was lucky, my darling wife was with me when it happened, and we were next to the Royal Perth hospital, (and public health treatment in Australia is paid through our taxes). I can't speak highly enough of the care I received to cope with my stroke.

It was after the initial stroke trauma that I lost all control of my life to the “medical go ’round, and by circumstance I found myself in the hands of private (medicine for profit) medical specialists. Gradually, through medication, control of my life taken from me and put in the hands of “specialists”.

Immediately after the stroke I had surgery. Due to a lot of fortunate circumstances came out of the whole business, physically, relatively ok. Some problems with short term memory recall, getting better I think. Three crushed vertebrae from the grand mal seizure haven't helped recovery because of constant pain, but overall I'm pretty good all things considered.

Anyway this is not a whinge, this is about my experience with lamictal, how I came to be on it, and what I'm experiencing getting off it. I hope my experience can help others, like what I’ve read in this blog is helping me.

The hospital put me on phentoin to prevent any possible further seizures. My liver reacted so badly they immediately took me off that and put me on epilum. Ten days after my stroke, I was discharged from Royal Perth on a low dose level of Epilum.

I take pains to point out that all treatment and rehabilitation I have received through the public health system, (not for profit), has been wonderful. In conjunction with strong support from my wife, members of my immediate family and my close friends, recovery is happening.

Epilum caused problems; at least that’s what I thought. Two weeks after brain surgery is probably not a good time to make personal decisions about medication. At my request the dose level of epilum was raised to fall inside what was accepted as a dose that controlled seizures. (I learned dose levels from the internet.) What I didn’t consider was what this would mean long term.

Problems were such that I was changed from epilum to keppra within two weeks, by a private practice (for profit)neurologist (for profit). I was told each time my medication changed, that what I was being put on was “the gold standard medication” for my needs.

Before my discharge my brain scans had shown that I did not have brain waves associated with epilepsy. That didn't mean a lot to me at the time, but it does now. So more on my “needs” later).

Keppra was an absolute disaster for me. Like everyone who reaches the ripe age of 56, I’d had my ups and downs in life. But the depression I experienced under Keppra was a nightmare that wouldn’t stop. I’ve have never felt that distraught, helpless, hopeless and futile in my life.

I spent much of the time in deepest depression, in fits of inexplicable crying that were uncontrollable. There was no rhyme or reason. I hadn’t had depression like this under either of the other two drugs.

In fact before this I felt lucky to be alive and as able to function as I was, even though I was traumatised and teary and somewhat distraught.

I was talking, walking, eating even trying to plan and undertake some daily activities. Not all beer and skittles I might add. Lots of time sleeping. Balance problems etc. I soon found out that depression to the point of suicide and beyond, was a common side effect of the drug Keppra.

By this time I was back in Melbourne, my birthplace, and soon to be under the control (literally), of yet another private (for profit) neurologist. I had seen few people outside of my family and closest friends at this point.

Unfortunately, the day of my new neurologist’s appointment, needed because of the depression, coincided with a visit from much loved family members I hadn’t seen for 7 years.

This made me very tired. After their visit we travelled to see the neurologist. I was pretty exhausted when we got there. When I got out of the car I had an identical experience to one I’d had days after surgery. I could see tall gum trees blowing in the wind in front of me, both eyes could see perfectly. But my brain was unable to put the two images together. I knew what I saw but couldn’t process what I saw.

The first time this happened I was taken straight into emergency at Royal Perth. I was put under observation for 4 hours. Nothing untoward was found, no diagnosis, and I was discharged.

This time, we went straight into the neurologist’s rooms. I was crying and distraught beyond belief. Not understanding what was happening to me was frightening, like the first time.

The neurologist asked me what I’d experienced and I explained. All the while, I was breaking down, in tears, distraught, unable to communicate much of the time. The neurologist said I’d had a seizure (more on this later), and that the depression was undoubtedly caused by Keppra.

I was told the depression was fixable by changing me to lamactil. That lamactil was the “gold standard in epilepsy treatment next to Keppra.

This was 15 months ago and the lamactil saga began then.

Until five days ago, after initially reaching a daily dose level of 300mg of lamactil, I’ve taken lamactil daily. Now I’m coming off it.

I want to go through what the last fifteen months has been like with all the warts, and hopefully will continue writing in the next few days. I need to tell my story, for my own health as much as anything else.

I hope I’m not boring people, it’s important for me that I share this.

Writing this has made me tired and I want to finish by describing the last five days of withdrawal from lamactil.

On advice I’ll describe later, I’m dropping my daily dose so that in 2 months I’ll be off lamactil completely. That’s how I found this site; I needed feedback on my withdrawal symptoms.

I have been exhausted beyond belief for the last five days. So tired, I spend most of the day in bed. Lots of that time just staring at the wall. And I’m still exhausted.

I feel nauseous, a third to half the time, just ill. My emotions initially were yo-yoing, and I still have times over emotional reaction outside what for me is “normal”. Teary and emotive for no real reason.

I can’t trust myself to go out on my own; the waves of nausea and exhaustion knock me flat with no warning.

For anyone reading, the upsides are worth it. For the first time in 18 months my brain is clearing. My thoughts aren’t always clouded.

Incomplete bladder control has ceased. Constant visual haze is lifting.

I have hope for a future, without being on the medigoround. I’m fast coming to the belief that the “cure “has been worse than the disease.

I know its early days yet, but I’m determined to free myself from this medical regime. Either I’ll be off the lamactil and all similar drugs completely, or as close to free of them I can be.

Next time I write I’ll update my withdrawal symptoms. I really want to talk about my diagnosis of epilepsy, I think has relevant to all diagnostic processes.

Thanks for reading, if anyone has more advice I'd be really greatful.
Michael.

Michael,
Best wishes on your lamictal withdrawal.

For what it's worth, strokes and heart attacks are notorious for causing major depressions. I used to be a medical social worker and, in fact, never saw anyone who'd had a stroke or heart attack who didn't have serious depression.

I'm hoping that if I ever do have a stroke/heart condition that I'll remember depression is part of the package so I'll be able to wait it out instead of succumbing to what I know will be a big, fat campaign to take psychotropics.

I have no idea if this is helpful information to you, but I'd bet at least part of your most unpleasant depression was a result of the stroke, not to mention the fact you'd undergone major surgery at the same time. Phew.

Thanks for writing.

After surfing the web for hours, am finally happy to have stumbled across this site. I was traveling with friends abroad and ended up for a few days without my lamictal. I'm on 150 mgs which I have been on for 2 years after having been diagnosed with bi-polar. I am really not bi-polar but do get a very slight depression at times. I think it is hormonal, as it is near menopause. Also, trying times in my marriage that never seem to get resolved. Anyway, after a huge amount of anxiety about not having the meds, (including Trileptal, 300 mgs) I decide to just pray and take as many vitamins as I have and drink a lot of water. It's been 5 days and apart from some major jet-lag and some dry mouth, there has been not anything grand to mention. I don't know how much is the actual jet-lag and how much is the withdrawal. Am tired, spacey and unfocused, but hopefully that will go away once I am back on my normal time.

I don't think that the pharma companies can just tell people that quitting cold turkey will be okay because if they do, many folks will just stop taking their meds. The fear factor kept me taking them long past the time I should have. I can't wait to have my full cognitive function again. I really hope that my memory returns. Best of luck to you all.

Sally,
Are you planning on stopping the Lamictal and Trileptal all together? If so, PLEASE read more of the posts here. There are 2 other "Lamictal withdrawal" threads on this website.
Many times withdrawal doesn't even begin for a few weeks. Both of those drugs are anti-seizure meds and abrupt withdrawal can cause seizures even if you never had them before.
Please keep us posted. I'm hoping you receive a miracle and have no withdrawal but I fear (based on experience and much research) that won't be the case.

I will be going to the psych later in the day, but am hoping for other patients opinions here. The side effects I'm experiencing from lowering my Lamictal from 150 to 100 is severe shaking to the point of my ribs and hip bones hurting, extreme nausea without actually vomiting, sweating from my palms, armpits and soles of my feet in 18 degree weather, panic/anxiety attacks and absolute insomnia, as in not sleeping AT ALL at night, not just getting a bad nights sleep. Are these some simular symtoms to other people or could I be experiencing something more severe?

No side effects affecting my mood or anything though - probably because I don't have "bipolar" which is what I've been taking it for for the last 3 years. UGH!

Alysa,
Withdrawaling too fast from Lamictal can cause seizures in people who have never had them.

I had the extreme nausea, I've heard many people mention sweating, insomnia and anxiety. I can't remember the rest of my symptoms right now.

If nothing else has changed in your life (no other meds added or stopped, etc), I would definetely say those symptoms are due to the reduced dosage. It sounds extreme and I would go extremely slow in reducing it. Go back up to 150 and see it those symptoms subside. That should confirm it. Were you on a higher dose than 150 before or was that your maximum? If you were on a higher dose and this just started between 150 and 100, it could be withdrawal took some time to start (which happens with Lamictal often).
Don't be surprised if you have effects on your mood during withdrawal too. Just be prepared.

Good luck.

I had severe nausea, tremors and a feeling of wanting to rip my head off, the nausea lasted a month. Heart racing, and fatigue. This after dropping 50mg cold turkey. Seems to be getting better, mostly all physical symptoms, some weight loss as well.

I had been taking lamictal for 5 or 6 years and at 400ml the past year. Before that I was taking 300ml for the previous 2 years. I was also taking 60ml of Ritalin for suppossed adult ADD. Twelve years ago I went on my first psych drug at ate 36, paxil, for depression. It made me laugh and smile but the sexual side effects were horrible and I had no energy. In January or 1999 I was put on Ritalin and Wellbutrin. I stayed on Wellbutrin for 5 years untill I was switched to Lamictal. I went throught a very traumatic experience last Winter where I went into a dissocaiated state and felt like I really 'lost it'. . I think these drugs cause me to go into a type of 'trance' state that makes me very vulnerabvle to being demonized. I read 6 weeks ago that our modern pharmacy is just a dressed up version of old testament sorcery and if I was taking any of these mind-altering drugs, regardless of the reason, I was sinning and needed to repent. At that moment I quit all my drugs. I repented and felt very 'clean' and at peace. Today is my 35th day of cold turkey withdrawal. I have asked God to protect me from having any permanent damage, but what I have endured is such a nightmare. I have back pain, confusion, dreams that defy explanation, acute paranoia, feelings of worthlessness, and yet, I have HOPE!!!! I am a tennis instructor and national level racquetball player and playing these sports going through withdrawal is so hard. I see the ball and there is a slight 'pause' before everything else starts to operate. Each day I get better. Each day my visions improves and my emotions get closer to normal. These drugs stole so much from me, and I am determined to regain all of it. I will need to fast and pray and eat correctly to make it. I am so upset with the phychiatric community and the arrogance they have. People's lives are being royally messed with and they either don't care or are so greedy it doesn't matter to them. My phone number is 641-680-3353 if anyone would like to talk and share stories. I have suffered a great deal as a consequence of these drugs.

lAMICTAL SAVED MY LIFE. i AM ABLE TO PAUSE AND THINK ABOUT CONSEQUENCES. MY LIFE HAS IMPROVED ANd FOR THE FIRSTN TIME IN 30+ YEARS I FEEL NORMAL. INTERPERONAL RELATIONSHIPS-WORK ETC IS BeTTER THAN EVER.iF i HAVE TO TAKE IT FOR LIFE. SO BE IT; IT IS BeTTER THAN THE BI-POLAR MISERABLE EXPERINCES MY LIFE PRESENTED TO ME BEFORE. gOD, FRIENDS, UNDERSTANDING MY TRIGGERS ANF PROGRESSIVELY LESSENING ANY NEGATIVE RESPONSES HAS IMPROVED MY LIFE DRAMATICALLY. mAYBE IT DOES NOT WORK FOR EVERYONE, BUT MY LIFE IS BETTER SINCE MY DOCTOR GOT ME ON IT. THERE WAS A WAITING PERIOD BEFORE I flt results; but so much hppier and feeling "normal" has well been worth it for me.

I was started on Lamactil about a week ago by my neurologist as a secondary medication to Dilantin after Keppra started to make me very irritable. When I stopped the Keppra I did have 1 seizure, but that was when I hadn't taken my Dilantin on time and I think that as long as I'm meticulous about taking it I'll be OK, which is what I told my doctor. Of course we don't know what is best for ourselves though. The doc decided that it was a bad idea for me to go down to just the Dilantin, and started me on this shitty Lamictal. Right away I went back to having severe mood swings, but this time blurred vision and double vision accompanied my shitty attitude. Afer 8 days of 50mg (starting dose for epileptic patients), I tried to contact my doctor who had told me to call with any questions or concerns. This was a couple days before Christmas and when I tried to contact them I got a message they were gone for the holidays and wouldn't be back until the following Monday. This was on Wednesday though. I finally got someone to let me talk to the guy that was "acting" as the on-call physician, and found out why they call it the "acting on-call physician". The guy was clueless. When I explained my problem with the new drug he basically told me that I could just stop and not worry about withdrawal since I'd only been taking it a short while. What a stupid fuck (pardon my language, but I am really starting to hate the medical community and their arrogance). I stopped and the next day I felt great. Of course today is the 2nd day off of it and I'm starting to feel withdrawal symptoms. I am dizzy, clumsy, and have BAD mood swings, which are threatening my employment already. When I started on this shit, and I do understand it may work for some people but not me, the only side effect they told me about was the rash. No mention of any long-term effects, dizziness, mood swings, irritability, withdrawal effects...etc... MY DOCTOR PISSES ME OFF!!!! I was only on this crap for a week and after just a day off of it (couldn't do my work without being able to see straight), I'm having symptoms of withdrawal. Having just been on it for a week, does anybody know how long I might expect to have to deal with this. I am starting to feel nauseaus, my back is killing me, I am light-headed, and am losing my concentration after just a day. I'm hoping it will go away after just a day or so, but since the doctors prescribing this shit aren't even trained to know the negative side effects and symptoms of withdrawal how are we as patients supposed to know them??? I personally feel like I as a person have been criminally violated. Of course I'm very irritable right now probably due to coming off of Lamictal (but who really knows since they won't say and the doctors won't admit it?). I think there's probably a healthy kickback from GSK to the doctors prescribing it. I will be taking them to court if I flip out due to these awful withdrawal symptoms. Those greedy fucks should be ashamed of themselves. I was very happy to find this site while researching why I am feeling so shitty and it's been a very big help. If anybody starts up a class-action suit against them please let me know. My e-mail address is kenevans@netzero.net good luck to everybody and I hope my input has helped somebody. It sure feels good to get it off of my chest - it's the only thing that's really felt GOOD for the past couple of days. Happy Holidays all. Dont let this Lamictal crap ruin you. I'm just glad I decided to get off of it early. I'd rather have an occasional seizure than to deal with this drug.

Ken,
Don't you just friggin' hate it when they say "call if you have questions" but they're never available? I can so relate to the feelings you're having about the medicos.

Keep hanging in. You might want to step back on the Lamictal at a very low dose, then step down at a slower rate. I suspect you're correct, the docs won't be much help with withdrawal. I haven't had any problems myself in tapering off things but have read a lot about it here and mostly it seems common sense and patience gets you pretty far. Unfortunately, as you've noticed, both those traits are pretty lacking in the medical profession.

Keep researching. I have a friend who's a logger. He has a seizure disorder, sounds as if it's more petit mal in nature. Or at least he always gets an aura. When he feels a seizure coming on he turns off his chain saw, puts it down and waits for it to be over. He got off all meds a year or two ago, saw no difference in the frequency of seizures but felt a whole lot better in general.

I've been on Lamictal since last spring...400 mg I think. I was on it to try to control my ADHD and Borderline, and for a while it worked great - totally levelled me out. But a while back it just stopped and I was back on the emontional rollarcoaster. I was almost out of the perscription and since money is tight I didn't refill it. Dumb move :/

I'm all twitchy and jittery and shaky. I feel like I'm hungry all the time, even though I'm not. Im getting headaches and those odd vertigo-type twitches. I'm on edge and irritable; can't sleep, but am always exhausted...its horrible.

I've thought I should get back on and try to taper, but having been off I could get the rash :/ And my husband - who used to love how I was when the stuff was working - insists that I stop altogether, which is probably a good idea since I'm already partway through th DTs

Just a bit nervous now tho from reading some of this...worried about getting seizures or dropping into worse depression/suicidal thoughts etc. I almost had a complete meltdown at work yesterday because I couldn't stand the noise coming from the coffeemaker! I'm worried about comments from people who are still tapering down months later too - is there any way to make this a little easier?

Maeve,
Your husbands insistance is cruel. Well...cruel if he knows what cold turkey could do to you mentally and physically... most likely just ignorant. And what you're going through could last a long time.
You don't say how long you've been off; if it's been just a few weeks, I would get back on (slowly up-dosing).
I totally understand wanting to get it over with but it just doesn't get you back to normal any faster.
When I quit taking 200mg, I had to go back on 100mg and reduce slowly because it was unbearable; the piercing headaches, extreme exhaustion, weird dizziness, etc., etc. I ended up having to quit my job. You could try going back up slowly until the withdrawal symptoms get better, stay at that dose for a month and then reduce. ANY tapering is better than cold turkey. There's generic now too.

Whatever you do; don't let your doctor talk you into anything new! That's what happens when you ask for generic sometimes (sometimes even when you don't).

GOOD LUCK!

Does lamictal cause headlight lights in both eyes when they're closed? And does the Lamictal rash itch?

I seriously cannot take this anymore. I should have fallen asleep 3 hours ago, but I'm absolutely wide awake. My mind feels tired, but it's running wildly. My body feels exhausted, but it's quivering. I have no idea how I'm going to work overtime tonight unless I stay up all day and all night, but if I'm lucky that might get me back into my normal sleep schedule...though that's not terribly likely.

Is this what a manic phase feels like? How is it that more people don't off themselves?? I'm horribly tempted to right now, sadly enough - my brain seems ti be on some other frequency altogether.

I need to get that perscription refilled today...I just don't know how fast to go up or down. I just want this shit out of my system now! Why is this stuff making me feel like I'm losing my mind?? I'm never taking psych meds again - the illness isn't half as bad as the cure...

Apologies for the rambling...I am hoping that someone might know the best amount for getting back on the dose as quickly as possible?

I seriously cannot take this anymore. I should have fallen asleep 3 hours ago, but I'm absolutely wide awake. My mind feels tired, but it's running wildly. My body feels exhausted, but it's quivering. I have no idea how I'm going to work overtime tonight unless I stay up all day and all night, but if I'm lucky that might get me back into my normal sleep schedule...though that's not terribly likely.

Is this what a manic phase feels like? How is it that more people don't off themselves?? I'm horribly tempted to right now, sadly enough - my brain seems ti be on some other frequency altogether.

I need to get that perscription refilled today...I just don't know how fast to go up or down. I just want this shit out of my system now! Why is this stuff making me feel like I'm losing my mind?? I'm never taking psych meds again - the illness isn't half as bad as the cure...

Apologies for the rambling...I am hoping that someone might know the best amount for getting back on the dose as quickly as possible?

Dear Fellow med addicts,

I had a nervous breakdown when after my son was born 5 years ago. With this breakdown I was being pushed and pressured by my evil mother-n-law (who I must forgive) for things that at the time I couldn't produce. So I lost it and was hospitilized. At the hospital I was introduced to Head doctors (who only guess, wouldn't call what they do as practicing medicine) and the beggining of the end of life as I knew it. I left that hospital on 13 different medications. I had no time at all to regroup because who I was suddenly became lost in a sea of psych meds. For the next three years I had so many ups and downs, I couldn't get on my feet or grasp reality. I was hospitilized like 6 or 7 times in those 3 years. Doctors where like OMG your feeling this now, oh' heres a pill for it.

It wasn't until the last time I was hospitilized that I met the doctor who would wake me up. At the time I was on so many different medications. One to put me to sleep, one to wake me up and one to numb me to anything and everything life had to throw at me. H etook me off all of those others and put me on Lamictal 200mg and Seroquel 100mg and Ativan when needed for anxiety. Some off the fog that had become my exsistence had been lifted.

My father came to live with us and he drank heavily. He had my whole life and beat me and my mother as a child. But we let him in. I often spoke to him about his drinking and he would throw my medication right back in my face. So I quit the Seroquel and Ativan, but remained on Lamictal. It has been almost 8 months since Seoquel and Ativan. It was hard at first, but I am waking up more and more evryday. My family have noticed that the Rudy they knew is coming back 5 years later. Funny how we are there, but not present in the moment. I don't remember the first 3 years of my sons life. Now I am here and moving forward.

I was called to preach 7 years ago and lost it 5 years ago. With all that medication I was not fit for God to use. How could I when I could not here his voice or feel his presence. Not to long after stopping the Seroquel and Ativan did a man of God come into my life and call me out without ever talking to me before. We had only hung out at work in groups and I never told anyone of my calling. It w is amazing how God works. I am in awe everyday at his glory and the scope of His wisdom.

I have been fasted for 1 week at the first of Janurary and many things were revealed and doors were opened , but I was afraid. I am now the Out Reach Pastor for a contemporary church focused on mission work. My hearts desire is missionary work. Now it is Janurary 25th and I will fast again for 30 days. Through God I will retrieve domain over my body. It will be hard. I am coming of Lamictal, it is the only thing I take now. We must be a willing vessel for Him to use. In order to help Pastor this church my head must be clear.

So I am coming off of this medicine and will repost when it is over. No food, no medicine, only the Word of God. This is the last time for 30 days that I will be on the Internet or watch television. Full trust and complete surrendor lead to that comforts all. My emotions are normal. Ups and downs are normal. These are all part of life and we need to learn to accept ourselves for who we are. God's love is perfect and without limit. His grace will feed me and and His love will keep me. May your endevors be successful.

Be the Blessing,

Rudy