It's All Chimeric, Dude

I am not even sure why I find the following so interesting, except that it's written by a pretty good writer--a former psych doc who is a fellow bper:

"I sometimes think that part of manic-depression is a complete disconnect, in time, between the emotions one should naturally experience and a safe time to let them out. So, for example, I could go tight-lipped through a funeral and weep at a video arcade a month later. Once I even thought I had come closer to integrating my emotions better in regard to circumstances, but I fear for us bipolars this is a chimera. It's as if we build up mountains of rage and chasms of grief of which we are consciously unaware, and one day we smack into them and all hell breaks loose. Chemically, from the standpoint of the actual illness, this likely holds little scientific truth, but it is a useful metaphor for conceptualizing how the phenomenon sometimes feels. In the end manic-depression is really just bad genes and bad luck."

I don't necessarily buy the bad genes/bad luck formulation, but I know what he means. And, man, do I have chasms of grief lately courtesy of Craig Newmark--the founder of Craig's List and public enemy #1 to many journalists--and my good friends at Google and Microsoft. Enjoy the free five-star lunches guys!