March 13, 2007Thought You'd Heard Every Bipolar Disorder Excuse?Well, listen again. A Michigan woman claims that she went into a car dealership for an oil change for her car and walked out after signing a $444 a month lease for a new Mazda CX-9. "[Her] husband says the dealer agreed to take the car back if it got a doctor's letter detailing Berner's [the wife's] condition. He says the letter was sent, but the dealer delivered the CX-9 anyway, and left the keys in the mailbox." She and her husband are now suing the dealership. While I suppose it's possible that the woman has problems with "impulsivity and difficulty in decision-making," I have real problems believing that could completely excuse her purchase. She did drive to the dealership to get another car serviced after all. So if she has that much trouble with impulsivity, then why is she driving in the first place? Either way, the dealer should be a good sport and take the car back. This is one of those things that shouldn't clog the courts and shouldn't wind up stimatizing others diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It's stupid and should just go away. Posted by Philip Dawdy at March 13, 2007 03:53 PMComments
That's odd. It looks like Minnesota has a 3-day "cooling off" period law. How long did it take her to reconsider, I wonder? Posted by: MvB at March 13, 2007 04:48 PMThis part makes me shake my head: The dealer used her impulsivity and difficulty in decision making to get her to sign a lease? How the heck is he supposed to know she's bipolar? Did she walk with a "Hi, I'm bipolar" button pinned to her shirt? What a load of bs. Impulsivity. No excuse to drive purposely into a car dealership and agree to disagree later. (regarding purchase, lease, or oil change of a car.) The husband should stop using his wife's illness as an excuse. Give me a break! Posted by: Stephany at March 13, 2007 08:49 PMPhilip, do you really think the car dealership will or should take the car back? Posted by: Stephany at March 13, 2007 09:09 PMI'm sorry, but outside having a empathy for this woman because I've been there, I think she needs to take responsibility for her actions. I have in the pastI've been quite impulsive. Spent myself into heavy debt and put myself at personal risk in various ways. I took responsibility for my actions in the end and I did so by dealing with the consequences of my actions. I could have used my label as an excuse, but I didn't. It can often be cop out to use your label. I'll make an exception for people who are floridly psychotic. And people suffering from side effects like anti-depressants that might make someone violent. Short of that...get a grip! This phenomena of blaming everything on the illness is part of why there is so much stigma. (again, I make exceptions for people suffering from psychosis and radical side effects of drugs like when an antidepressant makes someone violent.) Otherwise natural consequences help one recover. Hence, I don't think the dealer should necessarily take the car back! If he wants to be a good guy, why not? I will here at the end add a caveat. I don't really believe we can judge another's reality...perhaps her issues are greater than mine were. The thing is I don't imagine they probably are. Also, I am better for having taken responsibility for my actions. If I had continually said my actions were outside my control I would be a hell of a lot more dysfunctional than I am now. Posted by: Gianna at March 14, 2007 04:31 AMMeh. I don't know if it will happen, but there are some things where I think people diagnosed with bipolar disorder use their diagnosis as a cop-out. Posted by: Marissa Miller at March 14, 2007 05:26 AMDoes this mean dealerships must determine a customer's GAF score before allowing them to purchase a car? Posted by: Lisa at March 14, 2007 06:35 AMI think they need marriage counseling. This sounds more like a passive aggresive way to spite her husband. And now he is using her illness to take the car back. If I was the dealership, I would say too bad. Leasing a car is no simple task. She knew exactly what she was doing!!!! Posted by: Angie at March 14, 2007 07:18 AMDon't you know mental illness is a medical illness, like any other disability? Surely you wouldn't discriminate against the disabled? Posted by: Mark at March 14, 2007 09:28 AMAngie, There is no way this woman should not be held accountable for her actions. We are not talking murder here; it's a choice to walk into a store, car dealership, hell, even to get married, and have to take responsibilty for your actions as a manic bipolar. I am dealing with a (almost)EX who is so passive aggressive, that according to him, it is now my fault that my daughter went into hospitals, etc. This especially escalated when I was diagnosed bipolar. He is using that now as a way to blame me for all of the actions in his life he chose that were wrong choices. Hell, can I have my money back for the impulsive trips I have taken? or can I have my marriage erased, because I was an impulsive 21 year old? Shit this stuff bites. Hope that woman and the husband enjoy their car. Posted by: Stephany at March 14, 2007 11:22 AM.."So if she has that much trouble with impulsivity, then why is she driving in the first place? Either way, the dealer should be a good sport and take the car back. " Accountability for actions seems to be the main theme of this discussion, and whether or not a patient can use their bipolar diagnosis to remove accountability for actions. If a patient is diagnosed and being treated for bipolar disorder; and the patient/consumer deems actions they regret as a symtom of their illness, then I say, they were not BEING A RESPONSIBLE PATIENT. Addressing the impulsivity and her ability to drive: if drunk drivers with prior history of DUI/DWI's can get back on the road and repeat the offense, I doubt any court system will start screening for manic bipolar's and charting their moods. I take full responsibility for any words, actions or other that I *may* be able to attribute to my bipolarness. I certainly do expect myself to be a responsible patient, and understand myself enough to know when to stay away from car dealerships, credit cards, or Vegas for that matter. This just makes me sick, how they are manipulating the situation. The fact that the dealer said to bring in a doctor's note and that didn't hold up: unless they had the dealer's signature on a binding contract as they walked out the door, it becomes a "he said, she said" issue, that will never hold up in court. The recent Seattle dealership money-stealing of a mentally ill patient where the sales people went to his house and took his money, to sell him his expensive truck is a whole other ballgame. There, he was taken advantage of for his illness.
Don't you know mental illness is a medical illness, like any other disability? Surely you wouldn't discriminate against the disabled? Posted by Mark at March 14, 2007 09:28 AM If I had continually said my actions were outside my control I would be a hell of a lot more dysfunctional than I am now. Posted by Gianna at March 14, 2007 04:31 AM Very true. This is why mental illness is not a medical illness like any other disability. Posted by: Ruth at March 14, 2007 06:11 PMOh please. How many times had I gone to Macy's needing something and ended up leaving with 500 dollars worth of clothes? And to make matters worse, it's all the same article in every shade of the rainbow. I've been manic and gone on shopping sprees. Usually the next day I regret it, seeing boxes and bags and knowing I have just maxed out a credit card. I've learned my lesson having to work 2 jobs for awhile to pay off debt. I deal with it now by never using credit to purchase things, and
She isn't going to get better if she is enabled. My family loves me, but I am ultimately responsible for every deed I have done while manic. I cannot blame others for my (mis)deeds. I can only learn from them. Posted by: susan at March 15, 2007 07:13 AMMmm. I think Susan has an excellent point about the enabling of someone with a disorder. That said, if the dealership said they would take the car back, and then didn't, that's moronic on their part. I only understand bi-polar disorder from an outside perspective (although my doc is still out on that call), I find it hard to even conceive how one could walk into anywhere to get an oil change and leave with a new car. If I suffered from that kind of extreme impulsiveness, I would take my car to an oil change place. The worst I could agree to is a new oil filter and maybe a transmission flush? But maybe that's part of the impulsive part that I don't understand. So, I'll shut up now, since I cannot grasp the illness. I have an anxiety disorder, and I get really testy when people try to tell me I need to "just relax!" Ugh. Posted by: introspectre at March 15, 2007 01:58 PMI should have known I might have manic depression a s both my children did (one now dead from Zyprexa) but instead was treated for years for depression. Well, two years ago, zoom. At first I didn't realize anything was up, but then my daughter and a friend gently pointed it out. By then, I had bought a second home (cottage), a used Prius, and countless children's books for my school, slammed the door at my boss' office, etc. The damage was done. My psychiatrist got me on lithium and told me to take a month off from school. I never thought of it in terms of being "responsible" - only that I was glad to be finally properly diagnosed and medicated. I do have to look out for online shopping, a weakness. But, otherwise, staying level is my goal. Oh, and paying off my debts. Posted by: Sue at March 18, 2007 02:18 PM |
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