I found my psych records to be quite interesting. My favorite part was from the psych hospital where they wrote that I was "too good to go to group." I got a kick out of that because, yeah, I am a bit of a smart ass and I did let them know that I found sitting in group talking about being an animal in a circus equivalent to taking fistfuls of money and flushing it down the toilet. For inquiring minds, I did say I would be a monkey in a circus (since they weren't gonna let up until I chose an animal I would like to be). They asked me with a straight face, "So, what makes you choose to be a monkey?" At that point I did stand up and say, "This is complete bullshit" and walk out of said group. It still smarts a bit to think I paid, even the discounted amount, for that lunacy. To me it's a sign of mental health when people resist that kind of goofiness, but instead those that resist are labelled uncooperative with treatment.

Oh, I left out an important part of the story. I told the psychiatrist why I left group and he said, "I know...I know...they would have to drag me kicking and screaming to group. It's a financial thing so they probably don't hire the best people. They have to have a way to keep you occupied while you're here. I'm most concerned about getting your medication straight. That's what is most important to me." He then wrote an order that I didn't have to attend group. But, the interesting part is he is the one who wrote that I was "too good for therapy" and that I was "arrogant." My loser of a psychiatrist didn't have the balls to admit to his co-workers that he also felt group therapy was a complete joke.

Lisa, that brought back so many memories, some of them rather amusing, some of them, well.. "Too cool for school" was their synopsis of me. I slept through most of group therapy, the point of which appeared to be for the 'therapist' to reduce at least one patient to tears per session. Other person favourites include a note that I was 'regressing' (what prompted this was that I was reading a broadsheet newspaper and didn't have room to spread it out on the table, so I sat on the floor instead), and the Secret Symbol in Blue Ink incident, where I was interrogated for hours about the real, talismanic meaning of a bit of scribble I had done on the paper next to the crossword (my pen had run dry and I was trying to get it to work again).

As a matter of psychiatric logic, any teenager or young adult who questions his/her treatment in any way will be labelled 'narcissistic' or 'arrogant'. It's just axiomatic.

Ruth, I think we would have had a lot of laughs together had we been hospitalized at the same place. Sometimes you just have to laugh at the idiocy of what goes on. It's what kept me sane. There's another funny part. In one of the groups they handed out sheets of paper with positive self talk phrases we were supposed to say to our reflections in the mirror. I swear to god I thought I was part of a bad Stuart Smalley skit at times. I love the part about your pen scribbles having some sort of hidden meaning. What a joke.

I also was labelled as having cluster B traits which I find rather amusing, especially when I consider that it's my former psychiatrist who has spent time in the slammer (I've never been arrested). My sister calls me up from time to time and launches into the "Borderline" song by Madonna. A sense of humor is mandatory to survive this madness.

Lisa, what did your headshrinker do to end up in the clinker?

Ruth, I just saw this question and it's been a while so you may not see my response. Where do I begin... All of the things he's been arrested for have occurred AFTER he became a psychiatrist. Hmmm....maybe it lead him straight over the edge. He's had three arrests (and convictions) that I know of. DWI, excessive speeding, and a weapon violation of some sort. He was also turned into the DA's office and travelled to our state capital and appeared before the state board for sleeping with his patients. He worked at the same hospital with the other psychiatrist who was under board order for sleeping with his patients. Taking advantage of patients seems to be all the rage in the state where I live. Yet, I'm the one with cluster B traits. Ha.

Hi Lisa,

I'm sure the shrink I saw as a teenager made quite a habit of speeding and DWI, but his political connections (which he emphasised by name-dropping over the phone whenever I was in his office) would have ensured that any charges laid would have fizzled into nothing. I can just picture him on the side of the road, dazed and confused, demanding of some poor rookie cop "Do you know who I am?" and then following it up with rest of a mental state examination: "Do you know who you are? Do you know what day it is?"

"Er, sir, I'm Constable Smith, it's a Tuesday night and could you please step out of the vehicle..."

A while ago I went on a blind date with a trainee psychiatrist who spent the whole time slagging off all the senior people in his field. I didn't even have to ask what he thought of my ex-shrink, he blurted his opinion out quite unprompted: "Everyone thinks he's a total fucking narcissist. Puts his patients on 600mg of Effexor a day and thinks it's funny..." Cluster B traits indeed.

As the Madonna song goes, "keep on pushing me, baby, don't you know you drive me crazy..."

Do you have a blog of your own?

Ruth, no I don't have a blog. I started one, but I ran out of things to say (hard to believe I know)so I stopped.

Hmm, maybe your shrink and mine were cousins. Mine was known around town as Dr. Effexor. Effexor was his baby. The more Effexor the merrier. I think I still have some of those orange tombstone shaped pills lying around some place.

I suspect that for my former shrink to have been arrested for speeding he couldn't keep his big old mouth shut. That always was very difficult for him. It's one thing to get a DWI and learn from it. But, at his age to keep getting arrested over and over for stupid shit. He's got problems that's for sure.

You had me rolling with your Constable Smith scenario. I'm sure something quite similar went down with my doc.

I've been reading your blog. You've done a great job. I'm afraid my writing is far less eloquent.