Phil, you are too sweet. I sound like such a shrill angry bitch in that post. It's abstract anger- directed at no one in particular, but rather institutions and schools of thought. Forgive me- I'm going through the hell of benzodiazepine withdrawal which believe me, will make even the most "compliant" of patients question why they ever took those "harmless" things the doc prescribed. barf. Go bears.

http://www.benzo.org.uk/

This is a helpful site, re: titration, etc.

Hang in there, been there!

and, Lily, you speak with profound truth and eloquence.

Stephany- thank you so much. Benzo.org.uk has great info- unfortunately most doctors in the U.S. know little about benzodiazepine withdrawal. It is hell, trying to sleep without drugs. And it's not working too well. I need my sleep- it's midterm time! I just dream of a day in which bedtime is no longer this huge source of anxiety because of this rebound insomnia.

Hi, everyone. I form my opinions by talking to people. To respond to some of the points.

1. Science "almost there." They're still a long way off, but many of their findings are mind-boggling and extremely encouraging. I want to learn more, and they are very happy to answer my questions. These guys are devoting their lives to helping mine, so I really like these people.

2. Genetics. 16,500 of our 25,000 genes are expressed in the brain. Something is clearly going on.

2. Drug companies. Money is their number one product. Their influence on psychiatry is extremely alarming.

3. Chemical imbalance. The brain is way more complicated than that.

4. Meds. Pdocs are meds specialists. That's what they do. The smart ones listen to their patients. The smart patients make sure their pdocs listen to them.

5. Non meds. The smart patients I know employ a wide range of non meds practices.

6. Drugging kids. I just got back from a weekend of talking to parents of kids with bipolar.

7. Meds for every behavior. SSRIs marketed for all and sundry. It's sickening, isn't it?

8. The antipsychiatry movement. My opinion: They're living in the past and sorely out of touch with those of us focusing on our recovery. We need a strong in-your-face movement to keep psychiatry honest and to counter the pharmaceuticals, but we also need a strong in-your-face movement to intimidate the establishment into coughing up big bucks for research and treatment and to strike the fear of God into anyone who so much as thinks as discriminating against us. Unfortunately, the anti-psychiatry folks don't speak for me on these issues.

Lily,

I am in your shoes with the sleep w/out drugs issue.

I had the worst bout of this a few weeks ago, actually don't know the timeline, due to lack of sleep. It was awful.

I know what it's like is what i want to say.

Some nights, I would sleep and think, thank God it's morning, and it was 11pm.

aaaaawwww no.

Anyway, good luck, I'm with ya in spirit for sure.
I wrote a lot about "Lunesta" for example, when I could not sleep for the life of me.
I ended up just sleeping one night, and so far so good.
I know, the insomnia will return, but thankfully it is not happening this week. hang in there.
--Stephany

John,

I've got this one covered in my arena at least:

.."strike the fear of God into anyone who so much as thinks as discriminating against us."

..and on behalf of anyone else I need to speak for, been there, and will keep on doing that.

John,

I thank you in your quote you made:

"strike the fear of God into anyone who so much as thinks as discriminating against us."

Sadly, I want to share with you and the readers of this website what the sad truth of our society is.

This qoute was made about me in open court by an attorney:

"We couldn't keep her on the streets and wait until she shot somebody."

I was a cop who never got a complant for being rude to someone.

This is the reality of what we live in....Not to put a black cloud over our situation, but this IS the reality...

Re: quality of life and medications.

I know there is a post/entry here somewhere, too tired to find it.

I just had to comment:

How does 19 meds per day divided into 4 slots make your day?

This is what it is taking to get my daughter's life back.

Heavily dosed on medications, this kid is in school, so far for 5 days, and doing excellent work.

I now, must stop whining about my self.

19 meds.

At school, on time, no complaints.

She never has ever complained, ever since I have known her.

She is 18.5 years old, and she never complains.

I have never taken 19 meds a day in my life.

I say one thing now:

Do not ever give up. I see someone everyday who never did.

Stephany,

You and your daughter are truly an inspiration. Reading your comments over the past year have been fasinating and inspiring.

I would like to announce on this website since our very modest moderator has not mentioned it that Philip's article that he wrote about me "Good Cop, Sad Cop" was made into a documentary short. The documentry will be entered into a film contest this week.

The film contest is for currents and the topic is intolerence. The filmmakers found Philip's article on the web, contacted him and it went from there.

They are hoping to get backing (funding) for a FULL FEATURE film based on our favorite writers work.

I have been waiting for Philip to say something about this but he is very modest, so I am going to say it for him.

Let's all hope that the film guys win the contest and can make their full feature.

So everyone give a shout out to Philip for his wonderful work!!!!

P.S. in case any of you are wondering, I have no future in acting.

Angie,
All the best to you, and thanks for the kind words. Though I am hardly an inspiration...

The discrimination that was used against you is unacceptable, and must change.

I promise I am doing my best to watch out for anyone I find who needs help, and have started advocating for another person as a result of my daughter's grief; as well as yours , and countless others among us.

I promised myself, that what I saw, and learned this last year behind the scenes was not to stop with me. I am hoping to make a difference.

Stephany, I am so impressed that your daughter can be taking all these meds while doing this crazy college thing. It makes me feel like a sorry whiner. She is lucky to have such an informed, smart and active mom. I'm seriously wowed. Hope you catch all your well-deserved ZZZs. x