Regarding Serotonin:

http://www.aikidoaus.com.au/dojo/docs/2nd_braina.htm

Complex and Hidden Brain in Gut Makes Bellyaches and Butterflies

I have always thought this was an interesting thought regarding serotonin.

.."The brain in the gut plays a major role in human happiness and misery. But few people know it exists, said Dr. Michael Gershon, a professor of anatomy and cell biology at Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center in New-York. For years, people who had ulcers, problems swallowing or chronic abdominal pain were told that their problems were imaginary, emotional, simply all in their heads. Dr. Gershon said. They were shuttled to psychiatrists for treatment."...(more)

...."Nearly every substance that helps run and control the brain has turned up in the gut. Dr. Gershon said. Major neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, glutamate, norepinephrine and nitric oxide are there. Two dozen small brain proteins, called neuropepddes, are in the gut, as are major cells of the immune system. Enkephalins, one class of the body's natural opiates, are in the gut And in a finding that stumps researchers, the gut is a rich source of benzodiazepines - the family of psychoacrive chemicals that includes such ever popular drugs as Valium and Xanax. "

Personally, this is my biggest issue. Meetings, speaking in public, butterflies don't even begin to describe the almost disabling anxiety.
It takes a lot for me to focus and get past my gut to concentrate on the task at hand. I use the deep breathing mindfulness and xanax to get through some intense moments.

Hi, Philip. This wasn't even reporting. Even appalling reporting is better than this. Science published the press release intact, unattributed to a reporter.

We've got a lot of interesting gene discoveries beginning to happen, but none of them are to a "depression" gene or a "bipolar" gene. Researchers, instead, are finding interesting links involving such things as cellular function, neuroplasticity, fear response, stress response, cognition, psychosis, circadian rhythms, drug metabolism, etc, and are learning how these genes switch on or off certain proteins that enhance or mess up certain systems in the brain, which then ultimately influence either behavior.

So there never will be a depression or bipolar gene. My bipolar may be a combination of an over-excited amygdala, low dopamine in the pre-frontal cortex, screwed up circadian rythyms, stupid astrocytes, and malfunctioning glia while your bipolar might be an underproducing hippocampus, high striatal dopamine, fickle bcl2, clapped-out mitochondrion, and bad B vitamin matabolism.

If the researchers did in fact discover something significant, it joins the long list of the many things that tend to go wrong under the hood. As more than one researcher explained: Genes don't code for behavior or for mental illness. Genes simply switch proteins on and off.

I'm getting SO excited for college!!!

I just went to Linens n' Things and bought a really pretty multi-colored blanket for my dorm. And downtown at that little art gallery thing, I got cute little sun chimes that I could mount to my window. I'm so excited!!!

Of course, I'm sure when I actually get there, it's going to be SO overwhelming and completely stressful. I'll probably entirley hate it for the first week or so, knowing me. But, I'll get over it, and then it'll be so much fun!!!

The only part that's worrying me a little, is the whole eating thing. I've always had problems managing my weight -- due to a freakin eating disorder -- and I'm afraid that I'm going to totally stop eating and get my weight really, really low. It's happened before. At 5"9, the lowest I've ever gotten my weight was about 97 pounds, and I had to be hospitalized and tubed and everything. And being over 30 pounds underweight is not very comfortable: freezing all the time, feeling like you're going to faint... it's not fun. But, it's always been my ultimate, ultimate dream to be a complete skeleton, and I'm SO afraid that I'm going to be compelled to lose.

And acutally, the more I think about this, the more afraid I get. I NEVER want to go back into the hosptial for anything -- not anorexia, not schizophrenia, nothing. But what's going to keep me from restricting? I've had this problem ever since I was 12, and I'm just as obsessed with my weight as ever.

Well, anyway, I really don't know what to do. Hopefully things will work out... I really hope they will...

Wish me luck...

Gwen,
How awesome and exciting getting your dorm things! Just be yourself, and enjoy the time there. Regarding anorexia, that was a challenge for me as well when I was 19-21 yrs old. I totally understand. I am 5'8". You can do this. Just remember that stress can be a trigger for everything, and when you feel it coming on, do something for a distraction, whatever it is you like to do. I would recommend getting into a group, and attending floor gatherings, etc. I feel confident that you are going to succeed, because you are already planning to do so. One day as I got older, it just kind of hit me that being obsessed (this is my personal story, not everyone is this way)with my weight was so stressful, that I stopped. I got rid of my scale and went by how my clothes fit, and then one time someone who was my heighth said how much she weighed, and she looked good. I remember thinking I could gain weight and look good. I know it's hard. Now in my 40's it's another story! but the main thing is to enjoy life and remind yourself everyday is a gift.
It will work out, and I wish you much luck and have a good time!

I keep having these horror dreams about Children's Hospital. I dream that that I'm running and running and running, but then all the staff members wrestle me the ground and give me injections. And then they lock me up in the Pink Room for the following few hours. And no one understands! No one understands that everyone is going to be killed, and that it's up to me to save them from a horrific death. No one understands! But, the good thing about the dreams, is that I get to see all the staff members again -- people who were EXTREMELY nice to me, and whom I really liked. But those dreams! I just run and run and run, and all they say is "She's psychotic... she's so, so psychotic..."

Gwen,
I understand. I know what the Pink room is, so does my daughter.
Hang in there:)

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Hi Stephany and Gwen! I wished I would have found this last year to say "congrats" and best wishes to you Gwen in school. And Stephany, I must commend you for your advice to Gwen. Gwen, I was age 12 when I had issues with eating both ED's as well, and by time I graduated, I was able to "nip" it with an awesome therapist at an in/out patient clinic. I was able to opt for the out-patient services so long as I promised to go 2x per week and follow the daily agendas and excercises given. Stephany couldn't have said it better "do something for distraction". There was never a time when I was "forced" to do anything as far as therapy went. I simply made a committment to my own self and for the sake of my general and overall well-being. My 1st therapist Pat, came up with a brilliant idea and asked what my favorite hobbies were. I told her I loved to dance (aerobics), especially jumping jacks :) and write poetry. We made an agreement that anytime I felt the stress coming on that made me feel like not eating and/or binge/purging...to stop what I'm doing and either do jumping jacks or write down how I was feeling before I would starve or binge/purge. Now, I'm not saying this works for everyone...but it sure did for me. As years went by and after moving back to the city, I still continued therapy with another awesome therapist who, like Stephany, also recommended group. I liked my 1:1 with my therapist though...I suppose it was because I was what he still says to this day "shotgun shy". By the end of therapy at 31, he helped me to rebuild my self-esteem and discover something amazing about myself and that was recognizing I was a beautiful person from within/out and how I "felt" mattered. After validating and coming to terms with my full potential and self-worth. One day, just like Stephany, I simply threw my scales away...stopped counting fat grams and calories...I ate my heart away knowing that I would gain a few pounds here and there. It was my goal to simply eat whatever I wanted without being so self-conscious of my body image, let alone what anyone else thought of me as well. I wanted to naturally reach my highest weight (which WHEWWW) was a whopping 165 LOL, but that was ok because my next goal would be to excercise that off "naturally" (not 5 times a day for 3or4 hours), but through walking and regular excercise....and well'a...I made it. I'm 42 and feel very healthy. My clothes fit just right and I'm not so preoccupied with my weight or image anymore. I did have a tiny weensy relapse last year for a few weeks after going through a stressful period....but I quickly knew that - that would not be the healthy nor logical route for me. At first, I could have "kicked" myself for doing it...but when I realized it was all stress related, I quickly stopped and did more jumping jacks and got back on track. I have no idea how or why I found this site...but I'm glad I did and I hope that all is well with you Gwen and that you are doing well in school. Stephany, it was nice reading what you wrote and I'm glad to know that you're doing well in your 40's as well :)...that's another story LOL but I really do feel great. Stay well!