Furious Seasons

June 27, 2006

Lizzie Simon On Kinds Of Therapy

This from Lizzie Simon, author of Detour. The text, copyright and so on for this post belong to Simon. So no stealing.

Lately, I've been going to CBT therapy on Mondays and Quaker Meeting on Sundays. In therapy, we talk about my relationships at work, in my community and with my boyfriend. And in Quaker Meeting, I meditate with about a hundred other people, and occaisionally someone stands and gives a message about love, forgiveness, faith, etc.

Lately, the effect of therapy and Quaker Meeting has been not exactly equal, but so complimentary I sort of can't imagine one without the other. I know I'm not the first to talk about faith and religion in its role in healing, and I do of course know that many religious communities condemn people with mental illness or create major mental distress in people. But my Quaker meeting is just about silence, peace, equality, simplicity, and witness to testimony.

Imagine a religious community that really was about love and peace, and that's exactly what I'm so lucky to have in my neighborhood in Brooklyn. The surprise, I guess, is that therapy is becoming more and more directly about the same values, love and peace. I am currently enjoying a seemless integration of religion and science.

When I think about what therapy has taught me---to learn responses to conflict that build instead of rupture relationships---it is the same messaging and skill set I learn from Quaker Meeting. And when you think about what it takes to change your own behavoir and cognitions---the crucial work of CBT--- the moments in which you learn to build silent steady relaxed thinking--this is basically just prayer, right?

I am NOT suggesting that prayer alone heals depression or bipolar disorder or any major mental illness. But I do think that prayer can be used in addition to other stategies to stave off triggers, work though anxiety, climb out of depression. And I am here to testify that being part of a spiritual community, and leaning on that community once a week, and practicing silent meditation with them, and learning how to use prayer and silence, and letting my spiritual comminity bring out the most loving compassionate version of myself, and having those values validated and strengthened by my therapist have all been doing miracle work in my day to day life and radically increasing my mental health.

I'm still bipolar (and Jewish, by the way). I've been on lithium for thirteen years and it has worked for me, in keeping major episodes at bay. But medication alone would never have worked to bring this kind of relief and harmony in my life. Times in my life that I have been self destructive or depressed or excruitiatingly anxious I have lacked this level of support. To paraphrase and riff off of Eleanor Roosevelt, there is so much more to mental health than the absence of mental illness.

Amen.

Posted by Philip Dawdy at June 27, 2006 12:19 AM

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Comments

Hi, Lizzie. I can appreciate where you're coming from. A lot of my coping skills I learned from Buddhism. CBT, in my opinion, is applied Buddhism. It's all about putting out the fire in my brain. Not that I'm good at it, but occasionally I can get two neurons to kiss and make up. I'm not as familiar with the Quaker faith as I should be, but I believe there is a lot of common ground between Buddhism and the Society of Friends. I'd appreciate you posting more on the topic. Cheers -

Posted by: John McManamy at June 27, 2006 09:57 AM

Lizzie,
Thanks for this post.
I never could be where I am today if I had not started being mindful, using meditation, and my spirituality is truly how I have been able to exist the last 12 months.
My personal life exceeded the usual level of stress, focusing on love, peace, and seeking true joy, has been what keeps me going.
A Kasmiri Proverb has been my focus since 1999.
"At the bottom of patience, one finds heaven."
My daughter, so young, was able to start using visualization, and relaxation techniques I taught her, and now away from home, I tell her she can do it, just do our visualization when she can't sleep.
I spent a lot of time in one of the hospital's Chapel's. I still go back there. It's peaceful, they offer every type of way to pray there, accepting of many types of religion and prayer forms.
Recently, it has been a personal struggle to get to the peaceful silence that I am capable.
This is why I have windchimes hanging 7 feet up in some trees where I sit.
When the chime or bell ring, it's a sound that really does become a stepping off point to meditation.
Some DBT groups have singing bowls. One of my daughter's loves that start of the group.
Ive worn a flower shaped necklace for years, on the back, it says "Happiness".
There are ways to remind ourselves what to remained focused on.
Some people may wonder what I mean by prayer, or meditation.For me, some times it can be finding a few rocks and placing them in a pattern and focusing on that takes you somewhere else.
There are small things you can do to get to the point of calm and peace by deep breathing. I call this being in the moment. The true moment. Not just walking through the woods, but being in the woods and aware of the movement of the leaves, the wind.
Yesterday I was in a situation that required extreme calm, and patience. I found a floral wooden moulding in the building that was beautiful, and wondered first if anyone ever stopped to admire this wood carving in their busy day.
I used that to focus on, as well as finding a magazine that had a full page photo of a garden full of flowers.
Some people may have wondered why I was staring at that page for so long, or looking at 'the wall'.
It was finding that inner peace in the midst of a loud, busy and stressful place.

Posted by: Stephany at June 27, 2006 09:59 AM

Terrific insights Lizzie. I'm someone who has gone through a full-blown schizophrenic break. Like many others, I agree that the experience of schizophrenia itself is frequently a religious / spiritual experience.

Part of my healing process has included exploring various facets of that experience from a spiritual perspective.

Posted by: spiritual_recovery at June 28, 2006 04:57 AM