Speaking of depression, I'm kind of depressed becuase my twin sister is back from Israel and is helping me with my correspondence calculus course I'm taking, and she is SO MUCH BETTER AT MATH THAN I AM!!!

It's not fair! Plus, she's a better writer than me. And her critical thinking is much sharper than mine. When we get into conversations about various things, she ALWAYS wins. She's just smarter than I am. She's a little genius and it's not cool.

Plus, she doesn't have schizophrenia so she doesn't have to deal with the same stuff I do. But, actually, that's OK cause she doesn't get to attend the parties. Ha! I love parties!!! I have dual existance, but she just has to go about the her normal mundane life, while I'm hooked up with special friends who will make me the greatest person alive. My friends love me. And that's the truth. Even though sometimes they make me cut myself and do some other stuff which Philip doesn't want me to say online, I LOVE THEM!!! They take me to these great parties where people get dropped in boiling oil and stuff and little children die. Sometimes it disturbs me, but I just have to keep in mind that it's all to make me the greatest person on the face of the planet.

Anway, I can't talk about this stuff too much cause sometimes I really get in trouble for it. For instance, once I was at a party at my doctors office, and he asked me to describe what was going on, and I did, but then once I got back, my friends were ready to kill me!!! It wasn't pretty.

So I'm not going to say anymore. (Though venting about it sure feels good).

But back to what I was saying before, I love my sister.

Gwen,
This post of yours has caused me to listen to 'Numb' by Linkin Park 4 times in a row while I type and think!I appreciate your candid comments.
Be yourself, and live for yourself.Remember the definition of you, is not created by other people's ideas of who you should be.
Math? it sucks, I hated it too, still do. Take care.

Re: the depression articles:
Key note to see there is speak up.
Loud voices. Large groups. Demanding excellence, and raising the bar to what we want for care is where it needs to begin.
Saying "good enough isnt good enough", any longer. When consumers demand a certain level of care and standard, and walk away when they did not get what they want, it is a start.
I feel is is imperative for people to read those articles and remember it isnt the cute therapy couch and 50 minute session discussing bad relationships.
Depression is so much more complex and disabling than what most Americans believe.
Once again, Im here to remind others who havent felt the pitch black darkness of it, that it is way beyond the tv ads that depict sad faces looking out windows.
It is people like me, who battle it down to walk out the door and do my job, my life.
I'm lucky it doesn't affect me every single day.

America is lacking in many ways, do we not agree?
We have such an ability to use what we have, to speak up to speak out, and we have the biggest rug with a lot of shit hidden underneath.
Who will get off of the rug and roll it back and look what's underneath?
Not too many people can face reality and unfounded fears. It really is fear that drives the silence of mental illness awareness, poverty and homelessness in our Country.
It's much easier to stand on the rug isn't it.